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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Opiesmom

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  • Content count

    2
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About Opiesmom

  • Rank
    Newbie

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Florida
  • Loss Type
    Family members, friend with terminal illness

Converted

  • Occupation
    Clerical
  • First Name
    Debbie
  1. Don't tell anyone

    Sadly, I run into this time and again. No one I know seems to have any imput. I feel lost.
  2. I have a friend who has been "hiding" her terminal illness for years. It became quite apparent that something is terribly wrong and for months we have been begging her to tell us what is happening. She has adamantly refused to admit anything is wrong, saying I'm fine, just lost a bit weight. Well, yesterday we got the official news and we are likely at weeks, maybe months. I can't say I'm shocked, exactly, but I'm trying to figure out why you wouldn't trust those closest to you with your best interest at heart with the truth. I've read a ton of info and appreciate the concern about social judgments, etc, and I suppose one really doesn't know how such information is going to be received, but here we are just trying to grasp our worst fears. My position, if you will, is not directly with my friend. She effectively said goodbye to me weeks ago, tho I didn't realize I was being cut off. My position is of support for her adult child who is completely devastated. I'm trying to offer practical support (which bills are paid, which are not; disability claim in process, care options, are you eating, how can I help you, call me anytime, it's ok to all and yell at me, just get it out). There's a question in here somewhere, I"m just trying to find it. I guess I just want to make sure I'm doing what needs to be done and be there for them but not be in the way? I dunno. Right now we are looking at various upcoming events, and I just want to scream. No. Stop the world. We need to deal with this first. No Thanksgiving, no Christmas..... Not now. My own grief stems from the pain I know she is likely suffering knowing she won't see her children grow and all that entails. I want to reach out to her, let her know I will always be there for them and that she'll always be a member of our family and that she will be loved and cherished and never ever forgotten..... but she has shut everyone out. Words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.
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