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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

love sucks

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Everything posted by love sucks

  1. I believe we are truly in the minority. I feel exactly the way you do about your husband finding love again after you die (and sharing intimacy with another woman). I have been married for 27 years. In 2012 I saw a human interest story about a woman who was dying of cancer, and had actually purchased a "free trip" for her husband, children and "new wife" whoever that might be (to Disney World I think) and a "free day of pampering at a beauty salon" for the new wife. Something to the effect that she loved him so much, wanted him to be happy again, and wanted another woman to be "blessed" as much as she had been as his wife. Of course by the time this story reached the media, the husband was already remarried and wanted to share the story with the world (haha). I remember feeling sick about it (unlike everyone on television). I mentioned the story to my husband later that same day. When I said, "I could never do something like she did" and he said, "Never say never", my world slowly crumbled. I realized he didn't feel the same way I did about our marriage. We have had much trouble from that day forward in our marriage because I can't get past it. Of course he tells me now that he feels the same way, and that he just blurted that out without really thinking about it, but I have never felt the same towards him since. Something died in me that day. I have told my sister and my aunt how I feel (my mom died years ago, and my dad found someone else not once but twice - that's another story), and they both have told me I shouldn't feel that way. My aunt said she would be dead and wouldn't care, and my sister said I should love him in a way that I want his happiness no matter what. I guess I'm horribly selfish, but I know that I would never fathom giving my body, heart and soul to another man - I would be extremely lonely for sure and wouldn't feel like living on myself. But my relationship to my husband is so precious to me that I would simply never be willing to share myself in that way with another human being. God knows that. Don't beat yourself up. There are people out there that feel the same way you and I do (I've even seen a couple of men online who are widowed, and say they have no interest in ever being with anyone else in that way either ). But we are few and far in between.