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    • ModKonnie

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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie


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About LoveD

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  1. Almost a year and six months

    The hard part is that we can’t accept the physical forms of our love ones have already gone.
  2. KayC, Thanks for sharing. The longer the time goes by, the harder I miss my husband.
  3. I am very sorry for your loss. I understand that at this stage most of the grief is comprised of guilt. The scene your boyfriend passed away will have profound impact to you. I heard and read a lot of cases of heart attacks that were people who died during exercise, sleeping, after eating or even talking in the meeting. Human bodies are very complicated. You have a good heart doesn't mean you won't have a heart attack but just means you are less risky. We all live in the history of cause and effect and we just have no control of it. People told me my husband's pass-away was a kind of destiny which I still don't like to hear. Please find somebodies who can listen to your venting or get help from grief counselors. Time will lessen your guilt. My prayers are with you.
  4. 7th month

    Hi KayC, It took you 3 years to process your grief. Does it mean after that when you think of George you no longer cry? I haven’t reached 6 months yet. I found myself still think about my husband all the times. When I am working, my husband is always on the background. Fragments of memories always creep in, reminding me he did this and said that last time. Tears will surge, especially when driving back home after work. I used to be a highly motivated worker at work. Right now I try hard to motivate myself by finding purpose and rationing my life. But my heart is still ache and stuck. When one moment I don’t think about him, I feel guilty. Wish I still remember my husband in details before I pass. I am thinking that God wants me to experience the tragedy and let me meet the challenge of life. No matter what I have to endure the pain by adapting the changes every day. Practice becomes perfect. Probably after 30 years the changes already become part of me, and it will get dull. I heard there is a widow who still cries when she talks about her husband after 15 years, while other people say one day in the future you will smile when you look at your parter’s picture. My eyes are full of sadness. I am not sure people can tell I am a widow by looking at me.
  5. How do I carry on now my soulmate is gone

    Donna Marie, I am so sorry for your loss. I can feel your pain. I remember at this stage I was busy with moving back my husband to USA and arranging the funeral with the help of my family and his family. Try to talk to your friends, neighbors or co-workers and cry as much as you need. Probably need to increase the budget to go out to eat with your kid. I believe your husband knows you love him so much because love never dies.
  6. Grieving my future

    You are not alone! After my husband passed away, my printer suddenly died. I had to rush to get a new one for my daughter's homework. The neighbor put a dent in my car and didn't want to go through insurance. I had to locate the cheapest dealer to have it fixed and pursue payment from her. My electrical fuse got problem causing part of the home without electricity and I didn't know how to switch it back. I intensively contacted almost 10 electrical technicians, only found one could come to my home to fix it. All these frustrations added to my grief and I cried miserably during the processing. I wondered why all these problems showed up after my husband was gone.
  7. 7th month

    Kayc, We are so fortunate to have you to share your wisdom with us. You really give me some hope to march this painful journey. Thank you!
  8. Nighttime

    What you described is exactly true.
  9. Nighttime

    I remember around between 2-3 months it was the most hopeless time for me. Hang in there. You will get better. I still have no interest in life but try to do a little extra beyond the routine every day.
  10. My painful truth!

    Francine, Love your beautiful writing!
  11. Lost of my husband best friend

    You are not alone. Family members have good hearts but have never experienced the trauma of losing partners. There is no way they can understand why we can’t get over it.
  12. Gabby, I am so sorry for your losses. I lost my husband five months ago. I recently feel very sad and heavy without hope, which I am not sure if the holidays triggered it. I do feel the mornings usually are the saddest time. I also found that the diet will greatly affect my mood and not sure if this is because of my heart problem. Do you have friends to talk to? Talking to friends doesn’t necessarily need to talk about our losses all the time. By just listening to other peoples’ stories can broaden our views and diverse our attentions. Joining a supporting group is another way to make new friends. My neighbor is a 30-years of widow who is 83 years old now. She told me that she kept herself busy all the time. Her home is very organized. She actively participates HOA activity. She believes that she has to let go of her husband not to bother him so that he could smoothly transit to and keep peace in the other world, which I am not able to do that now.
  13. My painful truth!

    That is one of the changes we have too. If one day I think less about my husband, I will feel guilty. Recently sometimes when I think about too much about him, I get headache. This is probably the body self-protection.
  14. 7th month

    M88 & KayC, I can feel your pain. I remember it was so much hassle to close my husband’s accounts and change his name. Not to mention you have a complicated legal case. I felt depressed in the past week. My sister came from overseas to accompany me for the holidays. I appreciated she spent time with me, brought me some beautiful Buddhism materials for comfort, talked about kid’s issue. But I held on my tears because I felt she didn’t have much interest listening to me talking about my husband. I think she feels I am already back to normal. I drove her many places to meet her shopping needs. She was in the travelling mood. Yesterday my sister left and I went home crying for long time. I feel nobody understands me even my parents don’t. The only person who understands me has gone, forever gone. He died in 2017. Now it is 2018. Everything moves on but my mind still wants to stop in last year. I feel so sad, miserable, empty and lonely, ending up I have to call sick today. I lose the faith that my husband is in the spiritual form.
  15. Grieving my future

    My company is playing the beautiful Christmas songs and music in the restrooms. Every time I got in and just wanted to cry.