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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Lazycrazyjen

Members
  • Content count

    1
  • Joined

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About Lazycrazyjen

  • Rank
    Newbie
  • Birthday 11/11/1998

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Texas
  • Loss Type
    Parent

Contact Methods

  • Skype
    jennifer meador

Converted

  • Interests
    jennifer
  • Last Name
    meador
  • First Name
    jennifer
  • Zip
    76065
  • Country
    United States
  1. I'm human too

    Hi my name is jennifer. I'm in college now but for the past 2 years have been hard on me..it all started my junior year in high school my mom was diagnosed with liver disease. It was hard because while she was sick and in the hospital I was still in school so it hit me hard. I had to step up cooking,cleaning,taking my brothers to school, etc. It was fine in the beginning but them my grades slowly started to fall and then I got very depressed. One day my mom wanted me to come to the hospital and visit with her so I skipped school and went to her and when I did she told me it was my fault she was sick and dying. That day she came home and I kept hearing it repeat in my head like a old record..I new it wasn't my fault at least I thought it wasn't but as the days,weeks,months,years go by she gets worse and worse. She us to hit us and yell at us and all this time people would say its her sickness and I never believed it...she would yell abd say nasty things and I tried to get my brothers to stay quiet and out of it. My 18th birthday finally roles around and I'm adopted and so its a big deal to me she tells me I'm to immature to find out about my parents and I'm telling her she doesn't get a say and so I find my parents and I'm debating whether I want to meet them or not (btw I'm still not sure if I want to meet them I know its been a year) and that adds more pressure. My mom gets sicker and I'm getting more scared all this time my moms been sick and people are asking my brothers and my dad how they are and nobody ask me...in my head I'm screaming WHAT ABOUT ME! I MEAN IM HERE TO HELLO! but I keep quiet...my mom passed away a week ago and I've kept quiet I haven't talk to anyone..there's a part of me that wants to scream and cry but I'm trying to keep strong for my family. I've lost so much and I don't know what to do Should I meet my biological parents? Should I love someone who's put me in so much pain? Should I cry? So many questions run through my head and I don't know what to do
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