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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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Craig319

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About Craig319

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  1. Hi all, I'm writing for a advice for, which at this point, is may be a little unusual as I cannot find significant answers anywhere. My mother passed away a couple of years ago, very unexpectedly and suddenly, a few weeks after retiring. Both of my parents had made plans for their retirement and what they would be doing. They obviously never got the chance to do any of it. My parents were married for close on 50 years. My father is old-school. Won't talk to anyone about his emotions and the loss he is no doubt feeling. Many family members are concerned with how he is coping, which he takes as coping looking after himself. What they mean is mentally as he rarely says anything about my mother's passing. Recently, I have actually managed to get him to open up, very, very slightly. Anyway, please forgive the rambling, but I thought a bit of background would be helpful. The point to this post is, my mother passed from an aggressive pneumonia type illness. The illness was very short, and as stated above, unexpected. Now my father, being how he is and 'bottling' all his feelings, has developed a chest complaint that has the doctors stumped. He is forever wheezing, coughing and bringing up pleghm, but the doctors so far have no answer for what's causing this. This has been gradually getting worse for the past year and a half at least, however al chest x-rays, CT scans, MRIs and bloods are coming back clear or with no discernable cause. The symptoms he has are very much like my mother's illness that took her from us. Apparently, it was fairly contagious in it's early stages. So much so that my father was advised to take a strong course of anitbiotics and replace any shared bed clothes etc. I've that greif can ultimately make you physically ill, so the question is, is it possible that my father's unresolved greif and mourning could be manifesting itself as something similar to what caused my mother's passing. Something similar to 'sympathy pains'? Any information on similar experiences or reliable studies would be greatly appreciated. I'm trying to find the best direction to try to help my father. Thank you for any assistance or comments in advance
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