Jump to content
Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
  • Announcements

    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Patti14

Members
  • Content count

    199
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Patti14

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Largo FL
  • Loss Type
    My husband
  • Angel Date
    09/23/17

Converted

  • Last Name
    White
  • First Name
    Patti
  • Zip
    33770
  1. Bad day

    Yes life feels frozen for me as everyone else is moving around me. I am stuck in this hell. I cry all the time. I felt completely safe and comfortable with my spouse. He loved me for me including all my flaws. He never judged me. I am having a hard time loving myself or being about me because the one thing I want in this world I can't have.
  2. This hurts so much

    I am sorry for your loss. I know your pain I lost my husband on September 23rd. This is the worst pain I have ever been through. I am falling apart and cannot focus at work. Nobody understands unless they have gone through this. I haven't got to the acceptance part yet. So I can't help you there but I am here if you need someone to talk to. I get it and know this pain. There are some great people on here that have been through it and have good advice.
  3. Bad day

    Thank you. I need to figure out how to start the healing. I can't get over being sad and in pain. I hate waking up and realizing he is gone all over again. I always had him to fall back on. If something happened I always had him. We were a team. Now all I have is me and my income and I have never been on my own.
  4. Lost my soulmate

    I have been with my husband for 20 years and we have been married for 11 years. I was just 19 when we started living together. The amount of time doesn't matter though it's really hard when you love someone and lose them.
  5. Bad day

    I know how you feel I can't stop crying tonight either. It was a really bad night for me. I am tired of all this pain to. My heart won't stop racing.
  6. Don't know what to say

    I feel the exact same way. You are not alone with these feelings. I can't accept it that Greg is gone it doesn't seem real. I just wanted to come home today and my husband be here and give me a big hug and tell me it's going to be ok. I don't know when we will be able to accept that they are gone. I just know that I hate being single. I was just sitting down tonight thinking about this is the first time I have ever been single and I'm it there is nobody here to fall back on if something happens. Yet it still doesn't feel real.
  7. Broken

    I don't think we will ever forget about them. When you loved someone that much I don't think it's possible to ever forget about them. There are to many memories to ever forget. They were an important part of our lives and still are. Even if some us do move on you will never forget.
  8. Bad day

    I know what you mean it hurts to not have them here for us anymore. It hurts that they cannot enjoy things anymore. I also don't know how long I can continue with this.
  9. Social Isolation

    I know exactly what you mean. Friends I thought would be around haven't even checked on me. It's bad enough that we have to go through this. But to be isolated by people that were always there when you were together sucks. I would have never dreamed that they wouldn't be here for me during this difficult time.
  10. Bad day

    I have been working which has not been easy. I think I hate this new job.I didn't seem to mind it when he was here. Now I feel lost. it's definitely not keeping me busy or my mind off of my husband. I did start going to a grief share group on Tuesdays. Everything I do I feel guilty because he can't do it. I hate that he is not going to see me continue to grow as a person. I hate that if something good does happen to me in the future he won't be here to see it it. He was the one I told everything to. I want to share with him about my job and everything that happens. I try to tell myself when I wake up this is your new reality grow up and deal with it you don't have a choice. It's true we don't have a choice but it doesn't make it any easier. It just sucks!
  11. Broken

    I definitely will always feel some guilt for not making him go to the doctor more. He was overweight and didn't go to the doctor like he should have. He did have labs in May for foot surgery in June and he was cleared for surgery. He had labs on September 1st and was supposed to have an appointment on September 11th but do to the hurricane didn't make it. Then he passed away on the 23rd. If something was wrong why didn't they catch it with his labs in May and the beginning of September. I knew he was overweight obviously but I didn't think he would die at 47 from it. Unless there was something else wrong and he didn't tell me. He seemed fine though. Besides getting bronchitis the weekend before. If it was really bronchitis. He went to an urgent care and was only there for 15 minutes and they said bronchitis. I wish he would have went to a regular doctor or hospital. He went back to work on Monday. He seemed fine all week. Except for holding his chest one morning. I thought it was stress. The medical examiner just did an external exam and blamed it on heart disease. There was another term for it but he said it basically meant heart disease. I wish they would have done a full autopsy. If he had heart disease why wouldn't it have been caught in his labs. I will never have awnsers and that bothers me so much.
  12. Lost my soulmate

    I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 3 weeks ago to. I feel your pain. It is very hard to be alone. I am glad you started seeing a counselor. Everything you are feeling we have all felt to.
  13. Bad day

    Yes that sounds like a great idea. It should be common sense most if it. It's not though. I would like to think that if this didn't happen to me. I would not say these things to someone that did lose their spouse. All I know for sure is I know what not to say now. I want to tell people off on a daily basis now. That's not me. It is the new me now though sad to say.
  14. Broken

    Yeah I guess we all have a bunch of what ifs that do us know good. No matter how much we wish we could get them back we can't.
  15. Broken

    Yes if we would have been able to revive Greg he would have probably had severe brain damage to. I know he would not have wanted to live like that either. It's just hard not to think about the what ifs. I guess because we want them here so bad.
×