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About Maria9

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    Advanced Member

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  • Loss Type
    Loss of my cat
  • Angel Date


  • First Name
  1. Broken

    Rash I am so sorry for your loss and for your pain, your story made me cry....We know that our pets won't outlive us but that doesn't stop our hearts from breaking when they finally go. I wish I could say something to make it less painful for you.Your kitty lived a wonderful life with you and she had the love of both you and your girlfriend. And you gave her the gift of passing in your arms.It is horrible to have to make this decision but you made the most loving choice for her. There is nothing more you could have done, I am not a vet but it seems like what she had was irreversible.Do not feel guilty. Let yourself grieve her loss, it hurts like hell I know...Losing my own kitty was the worst pain I have ever felt. Just take one day at a time and take care of yourself. It is a relief that you can share your pain and thoughts with your girlfriend, though I am sorry that you are both going through this. It will get better with time . I wish you both strength and healing.
  2. I am so sorry for your loss....please don't blame yourself. You made the right decision for your friend.Like AJWCat said she was near the end and you made the loving choice to end her suffering.Even if you could have prolonged her life a little longer it would not be much of a life and she would have suffered more with all the medical treatments. I know how much it hurts, we all do. Please be kind to yourself. Your kitty (it was a kitty?) knew how much you loved her.
  3. I just can’t stop crying

    I am glad for you AJWCat, that you got to this point! I think in time these happy memories will come more and more often and make you smile.I hope your husband gets there too.
  4. Sick with grief and guilt

    AJWCat I feel your sadness...what can I say? At least try not to recall his passing (I know it is not easy). Missing them is one thing, recalling their passing is another, and it makes the pain so much worse.Missing them is hard in itself, there is this sadness that permeates everything, the world is just not the same anymore.We are learning to live on while missing them, a new thing for me too. I am so sorry.....(((hugs)))
  5. Here one day gone the same

    Oh Kham I am so sorry...To lose them so young adds to the heartache even more. My kitty was only six when she passed, I still can't get over this unfairness. All the feelings you describe are so familiar, to me and to all of us here . Our lives, our purpose, our very identity fall to pieces .We have to live with this hole in our heart when we lose our pets. I won't lie to you, this hole that has their shape will be forever there and no other pet can fill it but we will learn to live with it.It is a slow process but with time the pain will get better. Take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself.Let yourself cry and grieve and get it all out, even better with people who understand. Like AJWCat this forum has helped so much in processing my grief.Everybody here understands what it's like. I wish you healing and strength in this difficult time.
  6. Anticipatory Grief(dog with cancer)

    Thank you AJWCat...Many times when I read your posts or KayC's I feel you express my own emotions so well....I am so sorry for your kitties. KayC your Skye looks so adorable, what a sweet face and loving eyes...He sure was special .I am so sorry he's not with you anymore. It so incredibly hard to let them go...
  7. Anticipatory Grief(dog with cancer)

    jsalas408 your Bruno is so sweet, my heart is breaking for the three of you ...It is one of the most heartbreaking things in life to know that a pet has no future and we make that painful decision. Oh I know the terror, the agony of knowing soon will be the end. Of what life will be after this. I won't tell you to cherish every moment with him, I know you will. But as much as you can,as hard as it may be,try to live in the present and not let your fear creep into these precious moments.I know, easier said than done. But see it as a present to Bruno and yourself.Because these moments will live in your memory. I wish I could say something to help you, to ease your pain and your fear.I am so so sorry....May God give you strength and peace during this difficult time. Post here when you feel like it and let us know how you're doing. We are here for you. .
  8. Struggling with loss

    Steve like KayC and AJWCat said you did not let your doggie down, you did the most loving thing you could do for her, ending her suffering. I am sure she knew this. Your guilt is normal but not deserved. As for the grief, I know how huge it is, we all do. Not having them in our lives anymore feels unbearable.I am so sorry...it is one of the hardest losses in life,losing a pet. But with time the pain will lessen. Allow yourself to feel your grief and to express it. I hope your heart will heal.
  9. Sick with grief and guilt

    You're both right. Learning to live with loss is such a slow process and it certainly feels like "three steps forward, two steps backward", a zig-zag.
  10. horrible guilt and shame

    Thank you KayC...I am so sorry about your miss Mocha...Sometimes I just want to accelerate the years so we'll be back together again. Thank you AJWCat ,I am so sorry about your loss too...Some days are ok but some are so hard, the missing is so intense...
  11. horrible guilt and shame

    Hard day yesterday. Today too. I've been missing her terribly....I wrote this. Autumn Leaves The sun so bright on a clear sky. The leaves are falling, a golden rain. But you're not here. I look for your little face at the garden gate your white paws climbing through. I would call your name and you would come running up to me. Every day I look at the gate expecting to see you. There will come another day like this one,bright and golden . The years will have fallen like so many leaves. I will be staring at a different gate. I will see your little face, your white paws climbing through. I will call your name and you'll come running up to me.
  12. Kidney Failure! Help Tiger to survive!!!!

    Iriska, I am so sorry that your kitty is sick.... I posted your link on my facebook and twitter accounts. I pray that that you receive all the money you need in time and that your Tiger will get well. I wish you strength and courage during this difficult time.
  13. Guilty angry euthanized my dog

    Esteban, I am so sorry you had to make this decision that has hurt you, and is still hurting you, so much. I understand the torment you're going through because you are a good person. Like AJWCat and KayC said you were under terrible pressure and you had to choose in those circumstances. It seems you had to choose between your dog and your wife...please forgive yourself. The fact that you're going through this shows that you loved your dog..It is good that you are sharing this here. I agree, talk to your wife about how you feel, she has to know. Would you like to write a letter to your dog, to talk to him? Maybe this could help you...
  14. Sick with grief and guilt

    I agree ! Whatever gives us comfort and gets us through...
  15. horrible guilt and shame

    I agree, Stella your song is wonderful ! And so full of feeling.... It made me cry. It expresses my own feelings so well. I wondered too if it's you singing it, I love this voice. Thank you for sharing it ! I read your other post too, about your kitten and my heart breaks for you...the pain of losing them is unbearable. It is very helpful to be able to express it in some way. I did by writing here. I am grateful that I found this forum . When I first started posting I was in a terrible state but the support and understanding I received from people here were enormous! I am still amazed when I think about it...So it has become a safe and solid place to express my thoughts and feelings. We all understand each other and we can support each other, maybe more than friends or family. Pet loss is so painful yet many people do not understand how we feel. And because of this we often have to hide our feelings. But here we can be ourselves....so post here too when you feel like it. I hope you have found some healing since your loss.