please let me know your opinion about my loss
I was pregnant with my third boy , when I went to regular 20weeks ultrasound they sent me to the hospital asap and they did one stich to my cervix cause it was too short ,I adviced to do bedrest
after 3 weeks I noticed blood andcalled the hospital they told me to come immediately but I said let me wait till next morning ( I didn't take it seriously) next morning I still noticed the blood , I went to the hospital it turnedout I was dilated andthere was no OB around I waited 5-6 hours till she came and I was dilated enough to have delivery
here is my question they said cause your baby is23 weeks old the NICU wil accept him but wont accept if he was 1 day younger (22.5 weeks or so) I didn't felt comfortable actually we(me and my husband) and decided to let the child die , I don't know , I'm dying inside , dying everysingle minute , should I normaly said yesand asked them to take them to another hospital and put him in NICU , he was less than one pound but I'm not sure ,I feel I'm not human I'm a monster for not trying to savehim , I cant move on , I have a famiy but cant think about anything other than my baby and my premature labor
what would you do?