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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Virgo

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About Virgo

  • Rank
    Newbie

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Loss Type
    Mother
  • Angel Date
    May, 2017
  1. It's been four months since she left me. To this day, I don't understand why. Even the autopsy report does not provide a clear answer. But it doesn't even matter. All I can think is: She's gone. My number one supporter and best friend is gone. And I didn't stop it. I didn't do anything. She was dying in front of my eyes and I didn't even realize it. Within 18 hours, my mom went from being a 100% fine to collapsing on the bathroom floor. She was so healthy and so full of energy and life. It just doesn't make sense. But it's my new reality I can't escape from. Since she passed, my life has been a blur. My days have become meaningless. My heart has been in constant pain. I am 23 years old. An only child. How will I survive the next 60 years? Without my rock, my light and my guide. How will I ever feel loved again? How will I ever feel happiness again? I would do anything to have her here again. To be able to hug her, share my day with her, and to see her beautiful smile. We had so many plans. So much more to do together. But now she will not be there when I get my first job or when I get married and have children. Or when I am in need of her love and care. I miss her. Every single day. Yet, everyone around me continues living like nothing happened. They will eventually forget her. Most of them already did. And that's what I'm most afraid of. That as the years go by, the memories of her will start to fade. And I will forget her voice, her movements, her jokes... Because these memories of her are all I have left. I will never understand why this had to happen. I feel so alone. So lost. So hopeless. I miss you mom. To everyone going through a similar journey, I send you all my love and strength.
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