Jump to content
Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
  • Announcements

    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Jannit

  • Rank

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Loss Type
    Loss my 17 yr old son
  • Angel Date
  1. TearsInHeaven

    Ive been reading your post to everyone including mine--your words of encouragement are very comforting . 

    Thank u 

    1. TearsInHeaven


      Jannit, thank YOU for your kind words.  This is  the hardest thing we will ever have happen to us.  When you feel ready---or not--- please join us on the Loss of An Adult Child.  This is a good, compassionate group and I am not sure I could have made it without them.I know those emotions you speak of only too well and I am not sure I have reached the point of "functioning as if life has a purpose". But I try really hard.  I am sure at only two months along your grief rules everything inside of you.  It is brutal.  It does change (but grief will always be there...) even though you cannot see at this point how it possibly could. Cry when you need to but breathe frequently!!! Sometimes you will find that friends and even family just don't know what to say or how to act around you.  But those of us who walk in these shoes are never afraid to talk OR listen. Take care of yourself even when you don't want to.

    2. TearsInHeaven


      By the way--- my name is Dianne.  My son's name is Michael.

  2. Iv been reading some of your post and yes it's a slight comfort that friends on this forum all have a similar connection in loosing a child- when I see that others are reacting to loss in a similar way that I am currently doing I don't feel as if I'm loosing my mind. The fact that you actually replied to my post was a comfort too- I just wanted to say thanks

    1. Tommy's mum

      Tommy's mum

      jannit you are welcome I am happy to chat with you. You need to remember that we are all at different stages of grief and everyone grieves differently. Those of us who have made it through the first 18 months or 3 yrs or 5 or longer have made progress through those stages and that is why we can post about inconsequential things and seem to be more positive or more able to function. The point is we have ALL been where you newer parents are and can understand and totally get it. We are here to help and encourage those struggling with the rawness and confusion and to show by example we will all make it through somehow in time forever changed but still here. We still have bumps in the road and painful times, not a day goes by that I dont miss my son but I fight my depression and grief as best I can. I am also a survivor of suicide, I had a complete breakdown and just could not cope I was very ill and still have guilt over what I put my family through. It was a miracle I was discovered and then survived 8 days on life support in ICU all I can say is I guess Im supposed to be here. We post to help others and each other reading positive posts show normality as it is can be reached it is a goal we should all strive for and reading the tragic stories of loss does magnify your own loss, and brings memories back. it is also a standard that shows how small improvements and progress are being made even if you are unaware of them, you realise that over time that there are afew hours or even a day or two when you can get stuff done or go more than a few hours without sobbing or having to go and hide in bed. Some people join then go dormant for a few months while just reading posts then post when they feel more able sometimes quite a long time after the loss. I joined a year after losing my Tommy. I encourage you to share and be open about your story and experiences. You never know how your words affect others positively and can create friendships in desperate times. Take care

  3. Loss of a 17 yr old

    I lost my son on the 14 th August 2017 , he went out for a birthday dinner and never came back, he had an asthma attack which lead to a cardiac, and that was it he was gone. I hate the emptiness, anguish,sadness,anger, loss and all the other emotions I encounter on a daily basis. I've lost my beautiful and funny child and I'm totally lost right now. How on earth am I expected to function as if life still has a purpose.
  4. Loss of a 17 yr old

    I lost my son on the 14 th August 2017 , he went out for a birthday dinner and never came back, he had an asthma attack which lead to a cardiac, and that was it he was gone. I hate the emptiness, anguish,sadness,anger, loss and all the other emotions I encounter on a daily basis. I've lost my beautiful and funny child and I'm totally lost right now. How on earth am I expected to function as if life still has a purpose.
  5. I'm so sorry for your horrific loss of your son- although I cannot begin to identify with this type of loss I can understand the heartache of losing a son to an unexpected death. My son who was 17 , went out for a birthday dinner on the 14th of August 2017 and asked if he could chill at a friends house as they had had such a good evening. Reluctantly I said yes, I was trying not to baby him, and told him to call me in the morning so I knew he was ok. That call never came ..... Instead I got a knock on the door from the police telling me my son had had an asthma attack which lead to a cardiac - he died in hospital that morning. No one can explain the feeling of emptiness, regret, anger, sadnesses and all the emotions I encounter on a daily basis.I hate my life right now and I'm absolutely lost.
  6. Meeting new people

    I don't feel I have authority to answer your question , as I lost my only son less than 3 weeks ago, if given the same question I would answer that I have 1 child and depending how comfortable I am with the people I am speaking with I would expand only if necessary or I felt comfortable. Right now I can't even string a sentence together without crying . But I feel so proud about my son I want to keep on talking about him now as I did when he was still alive.
  7. Hi there 

    reaching out to those who have recentley had to learn how to manage this new emotion of eternal grief at loosing a child,my angel left this world 14/8/2017. Words cannot explain emotions right now....how do I go on...

    1. Tommy's mum

      Tommy's mum

      Oh my dear your loss is so new and raw I will never forget those feelings of hopelessness and despair and permanent darkness. It takes a long time to be able to manage your life after the loss of a child, many ups and downs but I promise that in time it will slowly ease and you will eventually come to a place of acceptance and some peace of mind. The grief journey is extremely painful and difficult but it has to be gone through, one day at a time sometimes one hour at a time. can I ask how did you lose your precious child and how old were they? being able to talk a little about it is the start of healing. it took me months to be able to type the words "my son died" and I often posted with tears streaming down my face. i understand if you are not ready but please continue to message so I can try and help you ok? having someone who has been in the same boat makes a huge difference as often family and friends dont get it or say hurtful and ignorant things because they do not understand. i am 2 years on from losing my Tommy so feel i want to be able to reach out to others and try and help them in any way I can because the members on this forum have been so supportive and caring toward me. some members prefer a one on one more private communication through messaging like this, and I am here to let you know I am here for you to share with when you feel able to and to hold your hand. You are not alone ok? take care

    2. Jannit


      Thank you for your words of encouragement-my son was17 when he had a asthma attack which lead to a cardiac, it was very sudden and unexpected.I really don't have a reason to wake up in the morning, nothing makes sense any more and nothing seems to have a purpose. I miss him so much its unbearable- I burst into tear at any given time and place. I'm really not in a good place right now.