I lost my 3 month and 6 day old baby boy on August 22nd. I'm finding that everyday seems harder as I realize I don't wake up in the middle of the night anymore to make a bottle. His 18 month old Sister just learned to say "hi baby" and everytime I watch videos of him she says it, and it kills me. He died of SIDS in his sleep, but I was gone that morning to the gym. He smiled at me before I left and wasn't breathing when I got back. I can't help but blame myself. If I were there maybe it wouldn't have happened. My fiance, his father, was there and I know he is feeling the same way but I don't think we know how to comfort each other as he is very religious and I am the opposite.. having people around helps us feel normal but I want to be there for him and be able to talk about it with him. We've been much closer than ever now, but without talking about it. Any suggestions? As I'm hurting terrible and I know he is too.