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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Kimberlynn01

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About Kimberlynn01

  • Rank
    Newbie

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Loss Type
    Mother
  1. I lost my mother unexpectedly almost 2 months ago. She was 49, im 22... i saw her in her bed the morning she passed.... I thought she was sleeping... so I closed her door and went about my day.... but she wasn't sleeping.. i still remember them carrying her body down stairs so we could say our final good byes.. it doesn't feel real. I still don't feel like she passed away.. I cry at the thought of her dying, not her actual death. I'm scared what will happen to me when it finally hits me that I'll never hug my mom again.. I'm scared how I'll react. I have moments of parailzation , moments where I can't breath and time just stops. Im scared for my dad... they were married 28 years. I'm scared that he won't be able to go on. Im scared to lose him too. I'm scared for my father to spend the rest of his years alone.. they had retirement plans and a bright future. I try to talk to my dad and closen our relationship like my mom and I had... hoping this will feel normal... since I have someone to share my day with. But it doesn't. I don't get the same tender reaction that my mother gave me. She was my best friend.. Is it bad that I hate the cops that called me that day. Is is bad that I have hatred toward everyone from her dr who didn't do more to control my moms seizures, to the medical examiner that took my moms body away from me.. when will I come with relization that my mother is not just on an extended vacation. But that my life changed forever..
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