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Chasbro

Members
  • Content count

    15
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Chasbro

  • Rank
    Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Michigan
  • Loss Type
    My wife took her own life.
  • Angel Date
    3-26-17

Converted

  • Occupation
    Machinist
  • Last Name
    Stoddart
  • First Name
    Charles
  • Zip
    48183

Recent Profile Visitors

64 profile views
  1. 35 perfect years, now she's gone.

    Because rational thought no longer is part of the process. If they really knew the pain it would cause, they wouldn't do it. But that's the way we think....rationally. .....they didn't have room in there thought pattern to think that way. This is my opinion and the way I see it. It may sound harsh or brash but it's the only explication I can find.
  2. 35 perfect years, now she's gone.

    No indication that she would do that. None. In looking back she was making peace with family in the weeks before. Yes weeks. Once it becomes an option there's no telling what may trigger it. First off I want to tell you how very sorry I am for your loss. Many folks say they understand, however unless you've lived it YOU CAN NOT UNDERSTAND SO PLEASE STOP SAYING YOU DO. Sorry, but it has become annoying when I hear it. I do understand and my heart breaks for you. What you need to do is carry this with you and you will think of him every day. Don't dwell on the last days but try and recall the dance, candle lit dinners above the city lights, the laughter and joy you brought each other. You have a guardian angel now that will watch over you. Pray to him and pray to God. They listen but their answers are subtle so pay attention to the little details of your day, he's with you.....you just have to look and keep your heart free. Don't let evil over take you when your weak. This is when you must be strong, fight the darkness, don't let evil grip your soul. Give your pain to Jesus, ask for guidance and help to understand this. I'm always ready to talk or text if you need a friend or just someone who really does feel the same valley cut through our hearts. God bless, Chas
  3. So sad at almost 3 months

    You did dance, you loved like no other, and now you dance alone. It's easy if your no affraid off the dogs laughing. This is going to be who you are for all time. You will think of him every day forever, no doubt. But he was called, not you. You have the task of raising children. And have to find strength you didn't know you had. They need to know what's going on, curious.....you need to keep them on the mend. Talk it over with them, give them credit they will understand. I wish I had words that would free you from these bonds, but it's not my words you need. You need to follow your heart, you know what you need to do for you and yours. You have to do it, follow your heart......Jesus will guide you... ..listen and pray. Pray for strength and solitude. I will for you too. Be proud of what you cared together. Cherish them and raise them the way you both agreed to be best. You will one day find someone who may fit like a puzzle pc. Maybe they can mend the valley carved in our heart. But no need to go looking, let the Creator cross your paths. It will happen then when it's believed your ready. Yes we have a long way to go. But need to make a plan. Long term goal and then short term goals to help you get there. Please let me know if I can do anything else. YOU WILL FEEL BETTER, HONEST Chas
  4. My Dad passed at Christmas and proved to us there is a heaven. As time drew near and we waited for his sister from West Virginia, he was on so much pain meds he could barely left a finger and talking was difficult. He asked if we saw the Angels in the room? There's 4 of them.....no we don't see them dad. There standing next to yall. Shortly his sister arrived and they prayed. Her and my sister were singing hymns and all of a sudden his hands reached for the ceiling and exclaimed on perfect words, " it's beautiful, it's beautiful, take me now, I'm ready I'm ready!" His hands went to his side and he was gone. Well this family believes....... Chas This is my step father who passed 12-17-16. My real father passed 12-24-72.....I was 10. Another story for anotherday.
  5. 35 perfect years, now she's gone.

    I'm still learning the website navigation so please forgive me. I will answer just about anything in the public regarding this matter if I thought it would help one person. Her family's basically all narcissist. Let you point out, dysfunctional. ...I say it's they that put the fun in it. Just sad. It was a breaking point about 3 years ago when she had told me she went to their house,( just 2 blocks away), and was attacked with questions about her eyes and such. She had laser surgery for glaucoma about 10 years ago and it was wonderful and she never needed anything else other than that but it wasn't good enough they seem to attack her that day and she put her hands up and walked out. The next day her father dropped her mother off at my house and she came in and he drove home she said down and told Teresa that she wanted to be her friend and that she had to make a decision that if she wanted to be her friend to be her friend but if not then she didn't want to be her friend. Theresa asked her to leave. She picked up the phone and called her dad and told him to come and get her mom and she is on her way home. That was the last time she talked to them other than calling them on Wednesday before she passed which was on a Sunday and she simply called them to tell them she loved them. Her dad said he wondered when she would come around to with she asked "what's that mean? I'm just calling to tell you I love you and Mom" She was saying good bye for days to family, but we couldn't tell until after. If I had seen an indication of illness....she was a seamstress who worked out of the house. She interacted with people everyday. No one ever thought she's we so desperate or in such pain and torment that eventually took her from me. I thought it was just time and maybe understanding and everything would would work out. She feel deep into her bible studies, I'm fine with it. But sickness, pain, torment from her parents and shunned by family....it just didnt make sense to any of us, being the kids and I...that it were to end this way. No dr I could have dragged her into could have seen it, she would have answered all the questions the way they wanted to hear and just been mad at me for it. I lived with her for 35 years and never talked about her childhood issues and never thought she was so desperate. It goes back to beatings as a little girl, from her hero, strapped with his belt for what ever reason. She once learned a new word but didn't know what it meant. Mom...."Theresa, get my brush." Theresa...." Are you lazy?" ..... She was 4 and he beat the hell out of her. So, like I have said, I will carry this cross and it will forge me into a new man. I have felt so many emotions, hurt, anger,embarrassment, the list goes on. Now when people we know see me, they don't see Charlie, they see Charlie how's wife killed herself. Should I feel shame?Should I feel embarrassed? Well I do. But, this is now who I am, I accept what has been forced on me. I if dont, then the devil's grip on my soul has won. Why else would I be tested this way? I refuse to let evil prevale over me. So I'm alone now, sure one thing I have are my children but they all have lives to live. But I have learned I can be alone anywhere I choose in the world really. We had dreams of retirement out west in Colorado with the Rockies off in the distance, and have enough land for a couple horses and just live simple and slow. I think I'm going to follow up on our plan only just do it with my Border Collies now. I hope this helps answer all so far. Thanks, Chas ".....without fear, there can be no bravery......"
  6. 35 perfect years, now she's gone.

    Thanks to all the fine people here who have cared enough to reply or just read. I understand the importance of the investigation and questions, it's what laws are all about. I respect our protectors more than they know, our son is a Blackhawk pilot with a bronze star and countless medals. It is so difficult being on the other end of the questions. They interviewed my neighbors, with one commenting that watching us from across the street made her have hope that real love was still alive. When she saw one, she saw the other. All 3 of our children are successful and on theit own. When we decided to start a family early, I asked her to give up her job, which she had a bachelor degree from Eastern Michigan to get, and be a stay at home mom and raise our kids with our values as opposed to a baby sitter or prevent school. There's nothing wrong with that route, I just had a vision of what I wanted. All 3 were confirmed in Catholic faith. We were an inseparable team that only until death did we part. Again, thanks all. Chas Ben and family. ...our hero! Me and our other two kids.....
  7. 35 perfect years, now she's gone.

    I have yet to hear one word from her parents or her family and she had five brothers and sisters who are all married. And 35 years and never once cried sad tears we never once had a fight all we had was Love in This House. It's okay to blame me I can take that, but they're turning their back on my children or their own family ( hello? They're your grandchildren.......) sadly it gives you an idea of what my wife had to endure. Many thanks
  8. 35 perfect years, now she's gone.

    Andrew please don't ever think that that is an option to escape anything. We have to carry this with us this is what defines us this is what makes us and how we handle it will be looked upon when you stand in front of the face of God beg for forgiveness of your sins and hope he let you through the Pearly Gates so you can dance on the streets of gold in heaven. We will get through this I know we will it's a matter of learning how to live with it more than it is to get past it you'll never get past it you have to embrace it and carry it with you like a cross, I'm pretty sure we all know somebody else that had to carry a cross. Good luck
  9. 35 perfect years, now she's gone.

    Thanks to all the fine people here who have cared enough to reply or just read. I understand the importance of the investigation and questions, it's what laws are all about. I respect our protectors more than they know, our son is a Blackhawk pilot with a bronze star and countless medals. It is so difficult being on the other end of the questions. They interviewed my neighbors, with one commenting that watching us from across the street made her have hope that real love was still alive. When she saw one, she saw the other. All 3 of our children are successful and on theit own. When we decided to start a family early, I asked her to give up her job, which she had a bachelor degree from Eastern Michigan to get, and be a stay at home mom and raise our kids with our values as opposed to a baby sitter or prevent school. There's nothing wrong with that route, I just had a vision of what I wanted. All 3 were confirmed in Catholic faith. We were an inseparable team that only until death did we part. Again, thanks all. Chas
  10. 35 perfect years, now she's gone.

    Thanks, your thoughts are most appreciated as are any that take the time to just look. Chas Ps..as a new addition here I just noticed I may have posted this in the wrong forum. An assist by a moderator would be great. Thanks y'all
  11. 35 perfect years, now she's gone.

    The pistol was my .357 revolver and loaded with personal protection rounds designed for max damage. It didn't exit but bounced and wrecked everything. When I blew and her chest didn't raise, I knew she was in trouble. I found the entrance wound and covered it and blew, she exhaled, as I blew again I could see her eyes change and she passed as our lips touched one last time. But I kept at it until the police dragged me off and took me into the kitchen. I started to faint and reached out to grab a cop but just slid down his sides, touching his holstered gun. The look he gave me scared the hell out of me and I told him I'm not a threat. That's how it went down. The red cross puts on cpr classes and I have had training. No one or nothing could have saved her, thing is.... she knew it. In the days following I was asked to give a written statement of the day. The Wayne County coroner wouldn't sign off and it was ruled possible homicide until further questions answered. I'm sure my hand prints where every where. But they showed me photos from the scene. I almost got sick and shattered like glass. But they showed me a photo of a butcher knife in our bedrooms lavatory. "Do you know how it got there? Why it was there". No but I know why she didn't use it, I would have saved her and she knew it. But it also provides insight into her pain and the need to escape it. That's one of the hardest parts. Regards, Chas
  12. 35 perfect years, now she's gone.

    Being treated as a suspect for 7 hrs following was hell. I was surrounded by 4 cops in my kitchen while the "crime scene " was investigated. She was gone at 1:14 pm. My daughter and husband waited outside until the state police left with her body at 2:am. They told her it wasn't bad and just carpet removed would be good. They took my photo, my clothes, my dna, they swabbed my hands for gun powder residue. NCIS use to be a favorite show, now I can't watch it. Her heart was obviously damaged and stopped so the blood loss was minimal. As I was allowed to leave at 8:pm, I walked out and my children were waiting in the driveway and all my neighborhood was on the porch watching. Nightmare......sorry all.
  13. 35 perfect years, now she's gone.

    It takes all I have just to get out of bed each day. Thank you so very much for your time to reply, I don't have many friends as she was all I needed. The weekend seems to be the most difficult as it was time alone, without work or our children and the issues they bring. I have only good memories of her, we never argued as there was always a solution we could agree on. There is just a 7 or 8 hr pc of my mind I could have removed. When our youngest moved out on his own, we celebrated, dancing happy with the knowledge that all of our children had made it. After this, my youngest son moved back in here. But we also work together and we see too much of each other it seems. He had 3 years as a bachelor in his own place and didn't have anyone to talk to or disturb his sleep. On the other hand I spent all my time with her, always talking. God bless
  14. 35 perfect years, now she's gone.

    It takes all I have just to get out of bed each day. Thank you so very much for your time to reply, I don't have many friends as she was all I needed. God bless
  15. My name is Charlie and my wife took her life on 3-26-17.....5 days before my birthday and 2 months short of our 34th anniversary. We were best friends and even knew each other in high school. We had 3 children, oldest son is a Blackhawk pilot in the Army, daughter has a bachelor's degree from WSU working at cbs radio in Detroit and my youngest son is a cnc machinist like me and my father before me. This had nothing to do with me our or children. She and I were in love and the only tears she cried were from happieness. Her parents are narcissistic and she never got past it and they snapped her. Had I know it was so bad I would have taken action. She exhibired no rash behaviour and turned to her bible for answers. I can't explain the feeling of trying to give her cpr a her chest not rising. I lift her sweater and the air is coming out a hole the size if a quarter. I called 911 and put the phone next to us. I blocked the hole with my hand and this time she got a breath.as I put my mouth on hers to blow in I saw her pupils change and looked like she was gone then in my arms trying to rescue her. No note, nothing but a simple text to our phones..... i love you. There have never been darker days. My Dad died on Christmas eve and I thought nothing could be worse, was I wrong. Thanks for reading and giving me a place to write. Chas
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