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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie


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About AJWCat

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    Advanced Member

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  • Angel Date
    August 12 2017


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  1. My angel

    I had a meltdown at one point too. You do feel a little better just letting it out. I am glad she is in the garden but even more important her spirit is always around you all. Give your other cat extra kisses and attention. Wishing you the best in this process.
  2. My angel

    Hi, I am so sorry to read about your kitty. So sad. I know you are heartbroken. It is a horrible thing to have to go through. At least she was able to get back to you and you were with her at the very end. I wish I could say more to make you feel better, but I do understand the pain you are in. After we lost our cat, I didn't really eat for 2 days, barely slept. The world lost pretty much all joy for me. All you can do is grieve. It does slowly get better over time. For now just be patient as it takes some time to process such a loss. Again, wishing you peace and comfort.
  3. the pain hasnt stopped

    Agree Maria. I just can't keep saying the same thing to my family or friends. And what can they say? And as for life... I have come to realize it's not just losing the pet, you lose all the many things you did with and for that pet. It really does shift your whole life. I could list a minimum of 10 things I did with/for my cat each day that all gave me joy and they just disappeared.
  4. My best friend died and I feel empty inside

    Santiago, As Maria said, it is good you returned here to this forum to get your feelings out. You can share all the pain you are going through here. Please do not haunt yourself with needless guilt. Toby was very sick. You did the right thing, letting him go rather than forcing him to suffer. I know how much it hurts that Toby is no longer with you. My cat used to snuggle up next to me in bed and it is horrible to not have him now. It took me a couple weeks before I could do anything at all (I work from home.) besides lay in bed and watch mindless t.v. I finally was able to put my focus onto work tasks. I had to. Sadly, there is nothing you can do to change Toby's passing, don't let it make your life even more difficult. Maybe force yourself to focus on your studies for a few hours knowing you can then rest and grieve. Everything you are going through is part of this process. It will slowly get better. Not that you will ever forget Toby but you learn to live as things are now. Be kind to yourself and patient. My heart goes out to you.
  5. Sick with grief and guilt

    Wow, so so sorry to hear both your stories. Ugh, terrible! I get it, people make mistakes, they are running a "business" - Maria you are right, but just a little communication and some compassion would go a long way!
  6. Grieving my pet

    Hi @JackieJr07 that is what is great about this forum, we all pop in whenever we need it or want to help. When you talk about coming home and not getting greeted at the door... it's tough. We all have the things we did with our animals; the walks, the games, the patterns - I am sure you had so many. I call them rituals. Every morning when I woke up my cat, who was at my feet in bed, would get up ever so slowly and walk up to cuddle with me before we got out of bed. So waking up and not having him there for that was heartbreaking. Losing some of the rituals changes how we lived. Hope you are doing okay - and glad you shared. It's good to get it out.
  7. horrible guilt and shame

    It's not a depressing post, totally get it... it just is how it is for you at this time. Try to see if they have some photos and maybe they can email them to you! Like you... I don't want to forget my kitty either!
  8. Sick with grief and guilt

    Okay so I finally called. Got someone I didn't recognize. I mentioned that our cat passed away a few months ago and that I emailed but wasn't sure if they still had our appt. She checked and said they didn't have an appointment on file. She was sympathetic and nice enough but they clearly got my email, cancelled my appt., and that was that. It's too bad b/c they are a cat only clinic and normally very good. You'd think a vet office would be very mindful of these things.
  9. Early Days

    Nancy, you are where we all have been. The first few days without my sweet cat, I barely ate and couldn't sleep well. I wanted to somehow fix what happen. I could not believe he was gone. I was unprepared to feel so devastated because I am a pretty logical person. I knew my cat would not live forever. The physical absence was crushing. Do whatever you can to feel okay. Cry. Come here and write (I sure did, I have pages.) and share your grief. Like KayC said, there is nothing to do but survive and miss Boomer. It's just a process. Be patient with yourself. Of course everything is going to remind you of him, he brought you joy and was such a part of your life! In time, those memories will make you smile and not cry. Thinking of you and wishing you peace, I know it's hard.
  10. Yes this one is really hard, a counselor is a good idea. And yeah save the fur... and a favorite toy if he had one? I hated the moment when we vacuumed, a couple weeks after losing our cat. Like we were losing the final evidence of him. Yet... even weeks later, I would see one little white hair in some random place and I believed it was a sign he is still with us. I hope you are doing okay.
  11. Sick with grief and guilt

    I know @Maria9 I fear breaking down in tears. (I think I also fear being judged. I leave town on a long vacation and manage to have our cat pass away.)
  12. Hi @AdamElijah, I just want to say how heartbroken I am for you and your whole family. Charlie sounds like a wonderful, sweet, funny dog who brought you all a ton of joy. When we lose our pets, especially one so young and so suddenly since no expected it to happen this way, it is devastating. You will all grieve in your own way. I remember when we lost our cat, for the first couple weeks, I couldn't even say all the silly nicknames we had for him. The loss was crushing. I cried a lot. My husband tried to move on and distract himself even though he was as depressed as I was. I am glad you came here and shared your story. I hope in some small way it made you feel a little better. It has for me (I have pages here!) as I just need a place to vent my sadness. There is nothing to fix, no control to be gained. We just grieve and miss them and take it a day at a time. Things will get back to "normal" eventually, but you will always carry a special place in your heart for Charlie. That will never change.
  13. Sick with grief and guilt

    haha you're angry face made me smile. Okay you are right... I will.
  14. Sick with grief and guilt

    Just over 3 months now. I came across our cat's "file" - I still have his paperwork from the day we adopted him in 2007. And a bunch of recent vet visits and his rabies certificate. It expired 11/11/2017. I never did call the vet to see if they got my email about him passing away. And so I guess they cancelled our appointment after all. I can't believe they would be so heartless not to even email me back. I don't think I want to go there with my next cat.
  15. Bear has passed

    So sorry to hear about Bear. You really had such a long and wonderful life together. Doesn't make it easier! I know how hard it is to decide, today is the day, enough is enough. Obviously it was, you did the right thing since Bear was really at the end. And at least your were there with him to the final moment. So many people do not get that. I hope you are doing okay. I am sure Bear's absence is very very hard.