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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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AJWCat

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About AJWCat

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Location
    FL
  • Loss Type
    Cat
  • Angel Date
    August 12 2017

Converted

  • Zip
    32746
  1. Hey just wanted to check in from your last post. Handling the pain is so tough. You have your other cat, Nini with you though I read? After we lost our cat, we were all alone. The silence and absence is crushing. I hope having your other kitty with you helps a little. I mean I know it doesn't change anything, you still grieve Smokey every second. I was petting my new adopted kitty yesterday and my heart was missing the cat we lost. I hope you are doing okay.
  2. Hi there, I echo what everyone has said here. You had Smokey for so long, such a bond - you are still in shock. It is hard accepting when they are gone. My mind played out the events leading to losing my cat over and over and over - making me crazy. I was in such agony. I was fearful and anxious, depressed, crying, and pretty much a zombie for many days after we lost our wonderful "C" cat. He was like my child too. We adopted him at age 5 and had him from 2007 to 2017. I wish there was something I could say to make the pain lessen. There is not. This grief process is not easy, and all the logic in the world (we know they won't live forever) does not prepare you for their physical absence. But we all know you are going through. The people that end up here, looking for help and comfort, definitely get it. Just be kind and patient with yourself. You will get through this and you will be okay. It's just incredibly tough and in the beginning it is very dark. I am truly sorry for your loss.
  3. I want my cat back...

    I know how you feel. Grief though has nothing to do with age (I am twice your age and felt just as awful!). So don't feel like you are being a baby... I sobbed... I also "pouted" inside... I was so mad that my cat was taken so suddenly and in a horrible way. He did not deserve it. How sweet that your neighbor asked about him. I know it was hard, but just to think someone cares. You had a tremendous loss, be as kind to yourself as you can. I am so sorry for your loss, it is an experience you are never ready for and more heartbreaking than you can imagine.
  4. 2 months and counting

    @sparkyn98, I am the same way. I lost my cat on a Saturday night, we were cooking dinner and he got horribly sick out of nowhere so we rushed him to an emergency vet. Two hours later we put him down. For the first couple months I would dread Saturday evening - always felt awful. I am getting better w/ time. The 12th was the day we lost him, six days after my b-day. All these things impact me now.
  5. I am glad you are doing better too. A week is still so new to loss - now that I am over five months... I don't miss the physical heartache I had day and night in those first few days. There is nothing quite like it. You will have all kinds of things that trigger Bertie memories. Almost all funny I think. @KayC thinking of Arlie, hope he's doing okay. Sending a furry prayer his way.
  6. I'm not ready.....

    I think you are right KayC. They have survival instincts when they are healthy. When they are sick or in pain, they know it. And then they are wired to hide, to sleep and to let go. I bet Ava is trying to comfort you. Sweet girl, what a love. We're all thinking of you.
  7. I talk to our cat, tell him he's loved and missed. I have a framed photo in our living room and I choose to believe his spirit is with us. My best friend even had his portrait done from a photo, Ironically, done when he was still alive, but she just gave it to me recently. He really has only been in one dream and it was very vague. I begged in to visit me in my dreams for the first couple months. Even though we were so bonded, he was pretty independent so it would be in his personality to ignore my request, haha. I think he knows that I love cats so much that we would get another one which we have. She is so cute, I like having her around for sure. But it's early and we don't have much of a bond. It seems impossible to think I will have what I had with our sweet guy but I'm okay with that.
  8. I'm not ready.....

    I agree. let her do what she feels like doing just to get out for a few moments. Good that she's eating. No matter how much time you have left, you had some good moments.
  9. 2 months and counting

    That's good. It is hard I admit. We went at about 4 months.
  10. 2 months and counting

    Hey Jackie, I am glad you posted again. Obviously not glad you are in so much pain. But coming here and sharing, telling people who care and get it has helped me so much. No one really understands or talks about this. So for that I am glad you shared. Cancer is awful and unfair. And for what it's worth I know how sad you are and I am so sorry. This really takes a lot of time to heal. There is such a physical loss when they leave us and the loss of all the wonderful rituals we had with them. I am at over 5 months now from our cat. First it was how many weeks... now "monthly anniversaries" are what I think of. We've adopted a new kitty (from our local rescue) and I love her, she's so sweet. But I still miss my guy, my heart is still broken. Working but broken. I wish you well, hope you are okay.
  11. Loss of my cat

    Hi Jane, I am so sorry to hear about your loss and so much sooner than you thought. I lost my sweet cat at 15 but it was a sudden (poisoning we think) thing and so it was truly terrible. The shock of it was a big part of what made it so much worse than my other cats that passed after long illness. But of course, it is never good no matter the circumstance. I also was a walking zombie the first couple of weeks. Didn't find joy in almost anything. We still miss our cat and talk about him a lot. It has been over 5 months. We adopted another cat because life for me is not complete without a kitty to love and take care of and there are too many sitting without homes in the shelters. I hope you find some peace as you go through this process. Nothing prepares you - all the logic in the world about what life will be like without them doesn't matter when they are not there. There is no way around, only through.
  12. Can't let him go yet

    Oh my gosh I am so so sorry, my heart is breaking for you. Poor sweet boy I hope he goes quickly and painlessly now. His body is shutting down obviously. It's too bad the vet would not help further and end his suffering, especially since there was nothing more to do and he was at the end. Although it seems that if he is quiet that he is okay and not in pain? At least you are with him and he's at home. So sorry you going through this.
  13. @Max79 I am so sorry for your loss of your dog. At least it was at home in her bed. But you are so right: we always feel guilt no matter how "ideal" the end may be. The second-guessing no matter how "illogical" happens to us all. And I guess that just shows how fiercely we loved our wonderful animals.
  14. I'm not ready.....

    Hi I am sorry to hear what is happening to Ava. Poor girl. Of course you are crying. It's a horrible thing to have to go through - and watch her go through. Well, this is your chance to lavish her with extra love, make her comfortable, and give her as much of her favorite foods and treats as she wants. I imagine your vet has helped and given you pain meds? You will know when the time is "right" and when she is really not enjoying life. I wish I could say something more to make this somehow better. Thinking of you and wishing you peace as you deal with this. We all know how hard this is. Keep us posted.
  15. My Callie

    I feel like that's just your mind, still processing, still trying to fix it somehow. Of course you did what you had to do. This grief process is an ever shifting one. Hard to know how we'll feel at any given moment. Be patient. I hope your wife can be patient too. You can't "shake out" of this, or "get over it" after some 7 day window. It's just something you have to go through. Time passes and you learn to live with this new reality. And each day you come to grips with it just a little bit more. (And then you'll get blindsided with some emotion) but you make progress a day at a time. I actually let myself get stuck more than once because anger and sadness was all I had left - it helped me remember my sweet cat. That too, slowly repaired after time.
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