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Maria0419

Members
  • Content count

    40
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Maria0419

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Canada
  • Loss Type
    Sudden and tragic lost of husband
  • Angel Date
    July 27.2017

Contact Methods

  • Yahoo
    chiclet.chua@gmail.com

Converted

  • First Name
    Maria

Recent Profile Visitors

64 profile views
  1. Don't know what to say

    This is very true KMB!
  2. Don't know what to say

    I am a believer too. Prior to my husband's passing I saw a lot of signs although sometimes I'm thinking maybe my mind was just playing tricks on me . But it kept happening repeatedly from then I just acknowledge and embrace these signs. In fact while writing this post he's giving me a sign again. I'm watching tv right now but not really paying attention and I told myself that I feel so lonely and that I miss him then my lamp just keep flickering non stop. I texted one of our friends and she won't believe me so I sent a video and she is freaking out right now. It's very comforting I know my husband is always here with me when ever I need him the most.
  3. Feeling so lost, lonely and empty

    I'm sorry for your loss Cath. I feel your pain although my husband and I didn't have children but we both lost our other half. I am only in my 11 weeks like you still struggling and in so much pain. But you're not alone . I have been reading a lot of self healing and life after death books. I believe that my husband has just graduated from this physical world and that we will see each other again . I also believe that he's always with me and the only thing that connects us is our unconditional love for each other. This is a horrible journey it's a roller coaster. Be open to everything and try your best to take care of yourself. You still have your kids. They will need you too. I know it's easier said than done , that's why stay in this forum and there are a lot of people here who really care and will help us to somehow survive.
  4. Broken

    Hi Sadsweety Im so sorry for your loss. Breaks my heart to see a new member in this forum but somehow glad that you found this site. All I can say is that you will need all the strength and faith to somehow make your small steps forward. Keep praying and people here will encourage, inspire, motivate and give you new insights about what we are facing and about to face. Hugs
  5. Broken

    So sorry to hear that Kay . Sometimes I wonder which is worst losing your spouse suddenly or slow death of illness? Mine was sudden and I can't let go of the shoulda/woulda/coulda thing . But everytime I come and read all your post I realize no matter the cause of death we feel same things for our lost. Sorry about your Anniversary. I know I shouldn't expect from others now but I was just talking to my mom last night about his 1st Anniversary and I decided to purchase a commemorative tree in his name. He loved nature and I think that's perfect in remembering him.
  6. Bad day

    Thanks Azipod for these encouraging words. It's very uplifting. Somehow I can see a little hope .
  7. Bad day

    I already did some of that too and everytime they asked me his Death certificate I just cry. I didn't want to handle doing the rest because it's too much for me . I guess some of those things can wait.
  8. Bad day

    I don't even know if I'm going to make it for another day or week. How do you guys do it? Somehow you're surviving this terrible pain and longing. Such very strong spirits. I guess for me it's easier said than done. I always tell myself that I can do it or I'll try again but every time I'm feeling down I don't want to get up again.:(
  9. Bad day

    There's nobody among our friends that I can talk to about my husband. It seems like they don't want to talk and don't feel comfortable about his passing Its seems like nothing happened . They just talk normal stuff and everyday life. That's why I don't call them ,ignore their calls or even engage in long conversations. My mom is the only person I can talk to about my Alex but she's in a different country and different time zone. I can't always call her when I want to.I guess you're really on your own when dealing with grief.
  10. Bad day

    I know how you feel I can't stop crying tonight either. It was a really bad night for me. I am tired of all this pain to. My heart won't stop racing. This is like crashing you and your spirit over and over again. It's never ending. Sometimes I don't want to try to move forward anymore because Everytime I think I'm ok suddenly the floodgates will open and next thing I'm doing again is balling my eyes out when I least expect it. And no matter how hard I cry and scream and beg I know my husband will not come home anymore. By the way it's Friday today, another sad and and lonely weekend. Hugs to you Patti.
  11. Bad day

    I can't stop crying right now. Just looking at his picture and begging him to take me with him so I don't have to feel this pain anymore. I'm so lost , I don't know what to do.
  12. Bad day

    I really don't know what to say .I was doing ok but now I'm back to being miserable again. My panic attacks are getting intense and I still couldn't sleep without sleep aide. I just feel so alone and I miss my husband so much.
  13. When does it get easier? Stress after death

    Can't wait for that day.
  14. When does it get easier? Stress after death

    When my husband passed on I had a lot of thinking that goes with a lot of questions. When I pray I always ask God why all these bad things keep happening to me especially with all my relationships. First relationship I was physically abused , my second was emotional abused because of his drug addiction and then losing my husband in a terrible accident. Also I have a son that I couldn't build a good relationship because we were separated for so many years. He was mad at me for leaving because I had to get away in an abusive relationship and move abroad so I can give him a better future. I always put others first before me and willing to sacrifice even my happiness just to make others happy too. When life seemed to be falling into place and when I started feeling the joy that I was longing before When I met my husband then another tragedy happen. I know it's very hard to make sense in all of this right now because we are not fully aware of everything that sorrounds us. I just pray that I could be strong enough and open enough to keep going and finish whatever purpose I have in this world.
  15. When does it get easier? Stress after death

    Thanks KMB , I definitely agree.
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