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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Nickyv

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About Nickyv

  • Rank
    Newbie

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    BC

Converted

  • Last Name
    Valenti
  • First Name
    Nicola
  • Zip
    V2a 6e1
  1. Suicidal

    Just over 2 months ago, my world ended. The pain and grief is unbearable. I've stuggled with depression most of my life, my girl comforted me, and kept me alive. I was supposed to keep her safe, and managed to do that for 14 years. We were inseparable. Then a freak accident happened while she was only feet away from me. That image won't leave my head, and I feel responsible for it. I can't live with this constant pain. She was my whole world, and all I had. I'm suprised I've hung on this long. I can't breathe, eat, bathe, I'm so weak. I need to find peace, but don't think I can here on Earth.
  2. Suicidal

    Just over 2 months ago, my world ended. The pain and grief is unbearable. I've stuggled with depression most of my life, my girl comforted me, and kept me alive. I was supposed to keep her safe, and managed to do that for 14 years. We were inseparable. Then a freak accident happened while she was only feet away from me. That image won't leave my head, and I feel responsible for it. I can't live with this constant pain. She was my whole world, and all I had. I'm suprised I've hung on this long. I can't breathe, eat, bathe, I'm so weak. I need to find peace, but don't think I can here on Earth.
  3. My Cat Munchkin

    Lovemykitty- it's been almost 8 weeks since I lost the only thing I love in this world. Don't be concerned about how other people view you. I was taken to the pshych ward the day it happened, and stayed 5 weeks. I wanted to die, I still do. I haven't worked since being sent home. I can barely take care of myself. I wish I knew if we would be together if I took my life. I don't want any part of this life, without her in it. I'm so sorry Bailey. I was supposed to keep you safe.
  4. Can't do this much longer

    I brought my baby girl with me EVERYWHERE. And it's painful to be anywhere. I couldn't get in my car for a month. I don't enjoy the warm weather, or the beach, because that was our thing. Well everything was our thing. It was just me and her, and I loved it that way. I didn't have interest in seeing any friends, because she was all I needed. Being with her was my favorite thing. After work, I would actually run from my car to my front door, because I was so excited to see her. I never thought I would lose her in any other way than old age. Obviously it would still have been devistating, but the fact that she was a completely healthy 14 year old, is part of what's destroying me.
  5. Can't do this much longer

    Every morning I wake up and I'm unconsolable. I can barely function. She was all I had, my everything, my reason for staying alive. She didnt deserve this. This pain is too much, and maybe time helps some people, but it wont help me. 5 weeks in pshych ward and home now for 2 weeks, and I'm getting worse if that's even possible. I just want to be with her more than anything.
  6. Can't do this much longer

    14 years of us being pretty much inseparable. She was my whole world, my life, my reason for living. What makes this even more painful, is she was in perfect health, still ran around like a puppy. 14 years I kept her safe, she was my baby. But I failed her. Another dog bit her and killed her. That moment continues to play over and over in my head. It's unbearable. And of course people just say, time will heal, or get another dog. It's not the same for everyone. I already know, this is it for me. She is the only reason I had not taken my own life in the past. Love of my life. Im so sorry baby girl
  7. Can't do this much longer

    I have never wanted to die so bad in my life. I can't be here without my girl, she was my everything.
  8. My whole world is gone

    My beautiful baby girl passed away almost a month the ago. She was a healthy and happy 14 year old. I've been house/pet sitting for a friend on and off for the past year. I made the fateful decision to give a bone to each of them. Which I had done many times before. Except this time, my baby girl was killed by the other dog, just because she was walking by the other dogs bone. I had to watch my girl die right in front of me, and it was my fault. I have been in the phsyc ward since that night, because I wanted to kill myself. I have lost the only thing that matters in my life, and the pain is unbearable. The incident replays in my head over and over. I kept her safe for 14 years, and in one split second she was gone. They are getting ready to release me from the hospital, because it's a short term facility, and as the nurses say, it's not the real world being in here. I can't be here without her, I just want to die.
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