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    • ModKonnie

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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie


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About Jilty

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  • Loss Type
    Daughter by suicide
  • Angel Date
    30th May 2017


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  1. Hi there Cag I have had some grief counselling by a bereavement group but not much. The Coroners report and independent investigation revealed that there was a lot we didn't know about the severity of her mental health, she had repeatedly requested that we, her family and friends, were not made aware. There was a lot going on, very complicated and emotional. This brought out so many more feelings of guilt on many levels and also unbearable pain for the mental torture she was going through. Quite a few months on now and people say put it to rest now she is at peace but I can',t how can I? Still crying spontaneously although nowhere near as much or for as long but it is going to take forever it feels to have anything near normal emotions again. Christmas is going to be tough as was her birthday. I do hope you are doing better than me. Sending a virtual hug to you and your husband. x
  2. What to say when people ask if you are ok

    I am with you on this. My heartfelt sympathies go out to you. Returning to work this week after several weeks off after my 36 years old daughter's suicide people in the most well- intentioned way kept asking the same."Are you ok?" At first i would weakly smile and say "yes thanks" then I got so fed up of screaming inside of myself no I am not I started to say it to them. It soon stopped. People feel uncomfotable with having to deal with the reality and prefer the easier white lie I am afraid. Do it, tell them. It might help you in that you are not lying and feeling the guilt over that as well as your grief. The pain of my loss is still so raw and I cannot envisage a time when it won't be. Early days I am told although that is no consolation. No one should have to bury their child whatever the circumstances.
  3. Hello, I just want to put a brief synopsis of my story out here hoping people will have advice for me to help with this awful event. My daughter took her own life end of May after a few unsuccessful attempts. She was 36. She had led a troubled life, the underlying cause of her problems I won't discuss on here. My family are all devastated. I live alone, am divorced and my two sons don't live near, one is on another Continent anyway. Whilst I had sort of tucked away the idea that she might one day succeed at the back of my mind, the reality of it when it happened still blew me away.She had a nervous breakdown two years ago and this all just spiralled down out of that really. Still can't grasp the idea that i will never ever see her or speak to her again. I have only just gone back to work, they have been fabulous but I really, really don't want to be back there but am only going because my team cannot support my work load indefinitely and this guilt is adding to my emotional state. I feel torn between wanting to be at home and returning to the normal treadmill of reality. I am still bursting into tears at the slightest thing and it seems to be more often than in the first few weeks. This first week back has been so tiring even though I am office based. I have been drinking a lot more than normal but not to excess on any occasion and i do realise it is not an answer but it does help. (Been there before and have learnt from that experience). I have been in touch with a few support sites but no one has really reached out to me and I am hoping that I can be a part of this to share my story, get help and reach out to others too. Many thanks for reading and my sympathies go out to all of you who are sharing this grief from losing someone close to your hearts.