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12hannah12

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About 12hannah12

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    Parent
  1. I will definitely let you know how I get on. It's not for a few weeks but I'll post back here afterwards. I would love to connect with my dad through it, but I'm not going to set up any expectations. I'll just go in with an open mind and see what happens.
  2. Thank you both so much. Reader, your experiences sound amazing especially the I love you text. Missdad, that is such a special experience for your Co worker to have. When I hear of things like what the two of you have said it's really hard not to believe in it all. I've been thinking about it so much lately that I've actually booked myself in to see a medium. I know a lot of people think they are a load of rubbish, and I know that there are a lot of fakes out there. But this one has come highly recommend and I just feel like it's something I need to do, even if I get nothing out of it, at least I will have tried it. Maybe I'm being naive and desperate, but I just want to try anything that may give me a little comfort. I'd love to hear of anyone else's experiences.
  3. Hello everyone My dad died in July and I still can't believe it. It was my 26th birthday on Friday and I really wanted to have a sign from him to let me know that he was still with me on my birthday. I even talked to him the day before and asked that if it was possible he could send me a sign could he please please try because it would mean so much to me. But I got nothing. I'm not particularly religious but I do believe (or really want to believe) that our spirits do live on after we die and that we stay around with our loved ones. Believing in that has been the only thing to get me through the days. I know that maybe it was my fault that I didn't get a sign, I have severe anxiety so most of the time my head is so filled with worry that I'm probably completely closed off to things like that. Anyone who knows my dad knows that my mum and I and our little family were the most important things in his life, so I know that he must still be around if he's able to be because I know he wouldn't have left us. But why didn't he show me that he was around, especially on my birthday which was an incredibly hard day? I guess I just wanted to put this on here and see if anyone else had any experience with signs or not getting signs, or if anyone has any beliefs as to why some people get them and some don't. Thank you for reading.
  4. Dad died yesterday. Struggling

    Thank you all so much. I really appreciate your replies. Is it possible to feel worse now than I did when it first happened (about a week and a half ago)? And I feel like I'm getting more and more tired even though I'm getting enough sleep. The tiredness is making it really hard to cope. I have severe anxiety and have had it all my life and now my little worries that I had before all this happened just seem 10 times worse. That and the tiredness and the never ending sadness is just unbearable and I feel like I'll never be happy or enjoy life again. Just so grateful I have my mum, she is such a comfort. Thank you for listening xx
  5. Dad died yesterday. Struggling

    Dear Lindsay Thank you so much for your reply. I'm so sorry about your dad. It does give me comfort to know that I'm not the only one going through this, but at the same time I wouldn't wish this on anybody. I can't imagine how it must have felt to have your dad fit and well one minute and then on life support the next. It is still a huge shock that my dad has gone from us, but he has been ill the past two years so in a way we were prepared (if that's even possible), although we never spoke about it because I think we were all just hoping that it wouldn't happen. I certainly never thought that it would happen so soon, I thought that we would have a few more years together. I'm glad I'm not the only one with these strange feelings. My thoughts are almost constantly on how sad I feel for my dad, even when I just do something tiny like have something nice to eat or look up at the sky I feel so sad that my dad will never get to do that again. It just doesn't seem fair and I can't get past that. Before my dad was ill and even during he really loved life and had so many passions, just like your dad, and you're right it does bring comfort to think that. The last few days I feel like my brain is blocking me from thinking and feeling too much, some of the time I feel numb and almost dead inside, and then occasionally it slips up and I get upset and let it all out. Then I go back to feeling numb. It's the strangest feeling. I feel unbelievably sad for my mum. I don't even know how she is managing to get out of bed. I think we are trying to be strong for eachother and I feel so thankful that I have such a close relationship with her. I hope that you too have people to lean on and be supported by. Just reading your reply has helped so thank you. Hannah xx
  6. Dad died yesterday. Struggling

    Thank you both for your very kind words. I'm finding it hard to get anything out at the moment, even typing a reply is hard. But reading your words gives me comfort as does reading other posts on here. At the moment, having the belief that my dad is somehow still around and being able to feel or hear us is giving me comfort. I just cannot comprehend that he has completely dissappeared, he has to still be around in some form. Sorry if this doesn't make sense. Thank you again xx
  7. Hello I came across this site when my dad passed away yesterday and I just need some support. Reading that people are going through the same thing helps enormously. I just can't get my head around it. I'm 25 and my dad was only 59. It just doesn't seem fair. The thing I am finding so hard right now is how sad I feel for my dad, like how he will never get to do or see any of the things he loved any more. He was a poet and a massive book lover, and yet he'll never get to write a poem again, read a book, browse a book shop, eat his favorite food, cuddle our dog, listen to his radio... I just feel so sad for him. I've always had a fear of death and watching my dad die has heightened it massively. I know every one says this but he really was the best man I knew, he was so kind and caring and selfless, always wanting to do whatever was best for my mum and I and putting us first. I just don't understand how this can happen to someone like him at so young an age when he still had so many things left to do. I'm heartbroken for my mum. They had the perfect marriage, never argued, they just understood each other and were kindred spirits. And now she has to face the rest of her live without him. I'm meant to be moving away in September to start a teacher training course but there's just no way I can leave my mum now on her own with me living four hours away. I just wish that I knew where he was right now, I'm not very religious, but I like to think that he's still around and can somehow hear me when I talk to him. I feel so guilty that I didn't tell him that I loved him enough. He was so good to me and sometimes I think I wasn't as good in return. Thank you for reading, any replies would be very appreciated.
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