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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie


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  1. Loss of a young dog

    KayC, Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. The links you provided also gave me some perspective. I can't wait to show them to my husband. I know he, too, will benefit from reading them. He is taking this loss very hard, too. It might even be more difficult for him - he was out of town for work during her final week of life and didn't see just how much she'd deteriorated. He came home late the night before she died and I brought her in early the next morning. He was home taking care of our children, expecting me to come back in a couple hours. I knew I wouldn't be returning with her; whether she was getting hospitalized or euthanized was the question. When I called him to say I think we needed to put her down, he got very upset and accused me of being "trigger happy" with the E word. He had to trust my instinct as he hadn't seen her at her lowest. He got to FaceTime her before it happened. He regrets not being there and wishes he'd gotten to give her last pets, kisses, and hugs. He has even less closure than me, and I feel sad for him, too. Throughout all this, I'm grateful my children are young enough to not be affected by her absence. Here's hoping these articles give him some comfort.
  2. Loss of a young dog

    Hi everyone, 10 days ago we had to put down our 4 year old Terrier. She was ill for 3 weeks and the vet could not figure out what was wrong. At first it seemed like Lymes (test was negative), then it seemed like back pain (yes, but not the ultimate problem), then it turned out she was very sick neurologically. She deteriorated quickly and suddenly. Within days she fell apart. She was head pressing, disoriented, crying nonstop, vomiting, having accidents, and barely eating or sleeping. We did not have the means to have an MRI performed to determine the ultimate disease she suffered from. Even if we did, treatment would be aggressive and her quality of life would still be bleak, as would the amount of time it might give her/us. We did the humane thing and let her go. I feel so guilty for letting her suffer for 3 weeks. No, she was not horribly ill for the entire time, but she did cry every day during that time. On her last night of her life she howled - the only time I ever heard her do that. My heart broke. We went to the vet 3 times prior to the euthanization. If I'd known the cause I would have done something immediately. Part of me blames the vet (the 3rd visit was with a different doctor because I was so desperate). Our regular vet says neurology is her specialty. How did she miss this then? She was only 4. This shouldn't have happened. And I want her to show me a sign that she feels so much better now and thank me for letting her go. I know that sounds crazy, but it would bring me some closure since we don't know what ultimately killed her. I miss her snuggles, kisses, and company so very much. And then I feel guilty because I want a new puppy ASAP because I am lonely, but that makes me feel like I'm being disloyal to her. Then I feel bad for the hypothetical puppy. I know I'm not ready for one yet. Sorry this post is all over the place. I have had to put down 3 dogs prior to her, but they were all older dogs. This untimely loss is very difficult to process.