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JuliansMom

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  • Content count

    5
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About JuliansMom

  • Rank
    Newbie

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    North Carolina
  • Loss Type
    Loss of 9 yr old son
  • Angel Date
    8/24/16

Converted

  • Occupation
    Customer Service
  • First Name
    Jennifer
  • Zip
    27573

Recent Profile Visitors

62 profile views
  1. Loss of an Adult Child

    Mermaid Tears, I'm sure losing a child of any age is just as horrific. I have two older children, 15 and 17, and I can't imagine losing them ever. I'm sure losing an adult child means also losing a friend. My daughter, 17, is quickly becoming one of my dearest friends. My heart goes out to you. The hopes, dreams, and plans all die when a young child dies. I'll never know what he would look like. What career would he have chosen? All of his children and grandchildren will never exist. It's like an entire generation and generations after that are all gone. It's absolutely incomprehensible to feel such a loss. On June 8th, we had the sentencing for the woman who killed Julian. She received 33 years with another 40 years suspended. I was expecting her to get a 15-20 year sentence, so I was very surprised at the harsh 73 year sentence. It's bittersweet because this young woman also lost her life, in a sense, although she was probably never going to amount to anything. She is 29 and has already led a very shady lifestyle. It's not that I feel she didn't deserve that long sentence, it's just a lot more than I expected. I almost feel guilt, especially after seeing the leniency given to other offenders of the same crime. But again, it's all so new and I haven't had time to process everything. I haven't even reached the point where I'm angry with her. I don't even think about her. If I spend time thinking about her, then that's time I could've spent thinking of my Julian. I'm jealous that she got to spend the last moments of his life, at least the life he was aware of, with him. I want to know what song was on the radio, was he singing, what was he wearing, and WHY WASNT HE BUCKLED?! Julian ALWAYS wore a seatbelt and would panic if the car was put in gear and he wasn't buckled. It's something I engraved into my children! It just doesn't make sense, and she has all the answers. I see where a lot of you are still awaiting the judicial process and I can tell you, I know how awful and emotional that process is. I'm grateful that ours was swift, however, now there's nothing to "do". We're just left with the broken pieces. I go to work, the sun rises and sets, the seasons change, all of it against my wishes. I just want everything to stop until Julian comes home.
  2. Loss of an Adult Child

    Thank you all so so much! I really appreciate the warm welcome! I wish there was no need for this site and that losing a child wasn't a reality for any of us. I hate that you all have gone through this, but it's nice to know I'm not alone. My heart breaks for all of you
  3. Loss of an Adult Child

    Hi there, I'm Jennifer and I'm having a very difficult time accepting my sons death. I'm copying and pasting this here, as I posted yesterday in Loss of a Child, I hope that's ok. Ten months and six days ago, my 9 year old son, Julian, was riding in a car with my ex husbands girlfriend. She was drunk. Neither of them were wearing a seatbelt. She swerved off the road and hit a telephone pole. Julian had many skull fractures and, I later learned, lost some brain matter in the vehicle. He officially died 4 days later. I was shopping for school clothes when it happened, as this was 9 days before the start of the new school year. Instead of a backpack and shoes, we had to choose a casket. It's impossible to describe the agony I felt and still feel. Julian was about to start 5th grade after completing 3rd grade, thus skipping 4th grade. He was so so so incredibly smart! He was my youngest child and I felt a deep connection with him. He was a very "difficult" and strong-minded boy. He was trying and exhausting and also very very funny! One minute I'd be pulling my hair out in frustration and the next minute he'd have me laughing until I cried! I cannot grieve. I can cry, but just because of how injured he looked, not because he's never coming back. I don't believe he'll never be here again! I know it sounds crazy, but I just can't believe that. I thought time would help me accept this, but I just wait. I'm just waiting for him to come back and thinking "when Julian comes back...". I don't know how to move forward and I don't know if I want to. I feel guilty if I allow him to be gone from our lives. I just can't accept it. Has anyone else felt this way? I always thought if I lost a child that I'd be completely devastated and unable to function. It's a very surreal and alien feeling and I'm not handling this as I feel I "should"... if it's ok, here are some photos. Julian on his last birthday, and Julian just two months before his death, almost exactly one year ago
  4. Loss of 9yr old son by drunk driver

    Thank you both for your heartfelt replies! I will go to the other thread. I'm so sorry that you have lost children as well. It's a terrible place to be.
  5. Hi there, I'm Jennifer and I'm having a very difficult time accepting my sons death. Ten months and six days ago, my 9 year old son, Julian, was riding in a car with my ex husbands girlfriend. She was drunk. Neither of them were wearing a seatbelt. She swerved off the road and hit a telephone pole. Julian had many skull fractures and, I later learned, lost some brain matter in the vehicle. He officially died 4 days later. I was shopping for school clothes when it happened, as this was 9 days before the start of the new school year. Instead of a backpack and shoes, we had to choose a casket. It's impossible to describe the agony I felt and still feel. Julian was about to start 5th grade after completing 3rd grade, thus skipping 4th grade. He was so so so incredibly smart! He was my youngest child and I felt a deep connection with him. He was a very "difficult" and strong-minded boy. He was trying and exhausting and also very very funny! One minute I'd be pulling my hair out in frustration and the next minute he'd have me laughing until I cried! I cannot grieve. I can cry, but just because of how injured he looked, not because he's never coming back. I don't believe he'll never be here again! I know it sounds crazy, but I just can't believe that. I thought time would help me accept this, but I just wait. I'm just waiting for him to come back and thinking "when Julian comes back...". I don't know how to move forward and I don't know if I want to. I feel guilty if I allow him to be gone from our lives. I just can't accept it. Has anyone else felt this way? I always thought if I lost a child that I'd be completely devastated and unable to function. It's a very surreal and alien feeling and I'm not handling this as I feel I "should"...
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