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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Judy S.

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About Judy S.

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  • Gender
  • Location
  • Interests
    Animals, gardening, reading, music.
  • Loss Type
    Death of husband
  • Angel Date
    June 21, 2017


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  1. How do I carry on now my soulmate is gone

    Donna, I'm so terribly sorry you lost your husband. And it's not even a week for you, everything will still be so raw and shocking now. Even for me, after six months, I have moments that I feel shocked. Anyway, your husband will know you love him, no doubt about that.and your love lasts forever. And for your son, remembering how I was at 10 years, kids are strong but so vulnerable too, assure him that you and him will be okay together. Talk with him whenever you can and when you are able, maybe do a few little things together. And take care of yourself, it's so important right now. I really feel for your pain, and send love.
  2. 7th month

    I'm going into the 7th month myself, and I've hit kind of a wall myself, a bad one. I'm much more angry too, it's like I don't know where it's coming from, but it's there, and I"m not normally much of an angry person. I can hardly stand myself! I"m also more depressed, and I'm annoyed with myself because I feel I could have done a better job at "doing" Christmas, I have two sons in their early-mid twenties, and we did have a Christmas, but it was quiet and I guess okay, what the heck am I trying to say? it just wasn't up to snuff. Just wanted to let you know I kind of do know what you are talking about, I still have a great will to live though, I know I have a lot of things to process that will take a lot of time. But right now, everything stinks!
  3. Christmas is coming.......

    You too, and everyone else on here. I hope everyone will be okay, maybe a little better than okay. In any case, this too shall pass. And I know our loved ones are with us.
  4. Christmas is coming.......

    Kay, my husband was cremated as well, and since he passed, in June, his ashes are still in the bedroom, I have a warm blanket over the box, he always liked being warm. He certainly wouldn't like the weather we've having here today, snowy, cold and windy. Anyway, hard days, these days of Christmas. My sons and I will have a little Charlie Brown Christmas, and watch It's a Wonderful Life, my husband loved that movie, and I feel he will be here watching with us. It's been six months now, this is still so hard it's almost unbelievable. I know it will be okay, but like I said, it's so, so hard. I do wish everyone here days of Peace and love and a Merry Christmas.
  5. My sister, TooDevastated

    I am so terribly sorry. I read many of her comments and felt so bad for her. Please don't blame yourself. I just don't know what else to say, just love the memory of your sister and we sure are here for you too. Sending lots of love.
  6. Broken

    Oh my goodness I know how you feel. Even now, after about 4 months since losing my husband, sleep is awfully hard to come by. The first two, three weeks, a month or so after my husband died I'd get up after sleeping a couple of hours and sit at the table and shake. Fortunately, even though my sleep is awful, I am pretty much over the shakes. I still have nights when I hold the last shirt he wore while he was still at home. It just breaks my heart.
  7. My Heart is so Sad

    I'm so very sorry you lost your husband. I lost mine in June, and like you, I find often find it hard to post here. But I read the posts nearly every day. I have two sons and they are wonderful, but how I miss my dear husband. I've written here before that my husband at times could be a difficult man to love, yet I loved him so much and I feel I've lost my anchor in life. And today has for some reason been especially bad, and I think the grief kind of comes in waves. Anyway, you are not alone, so many wonderful people posting here with encouragement. And we're all in the same sad boat, so everyone understands.
  8. Struggling

    Patti, I can sympathize. Oh, boy how I can. It's been almost four months for me but I've been running on adrenaline almost all that time and it's catching up with me. I'm going back in to see my DR. on Friday, have to get my blood pressure checked and all that good stuff. I know for a fact that my husband would want me to take care of myself, and I have not been doing a very good job of it. Although, have to admit not quite sure what I should be doing. When you can't sleep and never really relax it really take a toll on the body, and the mind too. So, one way or another I have to get a handle on this. I really hope you can too, it's not been long for you, and my heart is broken for you. But please if you can, be easy on yourself whenever you are able to.
  9. Lost

    As Kay said about the photo you posted your fiancee looks wonderful and kind. And, what a lovely couple you were, and yes, still are. I can only say how terribly sorry I am. It's so soon for you and I really don't have any wise words except that once again, as Kay mentioned, coming here can be a great source of comfort. Even when you are still in shock. I know I came here right after my husband died and just read, it helped.
  10. How to get through the day...

    Ingrid, I'm just so terribly sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. My husband died in June right after a carotid artery surgery that his Dr's thought would be successful and he would be home in a day or two after. My husband and I were both confident that he would come home and be feeling better, instead I got a terrible phone call. So, in so many ways I understand how you feel. I realize a heart transplant is much different, but it's still the feeling of as you say - getting your hopes up. It's unbelievable and shocking to hear that they have passed. I still feel that way, and it will soon be coming up three months. It seems like yesterday and it's still very raw. Anyway, I know that the first while after my husband died I really had no idea what I was doing. Good grief! I still don't, my brain isn't quite on deck yet. Might take awhile I think.In fact it will mostly likely take a very long while. I came here to this forum just to read, because everyone here understands. My family, friends have been wonderful but like you say, they don't hang around forever. I"m also finding that if I really want to talk about my husband I often have to talk to myself And I do want to talk about him, a lot! I know what you mean about seeing your husband's things and going places like the grocery store. Now, when I go to the grocery store and I go down the aisle with toothpaste and aspirin, etc., I always see the antacids - my husband ( Allen ) had antacids on his permanent list of things for me to pick up. ( he wasn't able to get around well to shop on his own ) So, I feel like crying when I see the antacids! I'm not sure how we get through this, but somehow we just do. I have a lot of faith, and honestly I don't know how I would have survived without it. But I do know everyone has their own ways. I hope you will post here again, it's a good place to be.
  11. Don't know where to turn

    Go ahead and cry. It's a good thing to get it out. I lost my husband in June as well, and I don't think crying is a weakness at all. As it happens, an uncle of mine lost his wife in January of this year and he's been calling me since my husband died, he's a great comfort. He said he can hardly believe how much he's cried ( over the death of my aunt ). Everything in the house, well - just everything reminds him of her. And I totally understand. If I'm not mistaken, they were married close to 50 years when she died. So many years, so many blessings, but also, so much to mourn. I've not been very good at regular posting here, but I do know that this place is so good to come to because we all understand.
  12. Kay, I know what you mean. I do have my two "twenty-something" sons at home right now, and they are going to be helping paint and do floors, but it won't be done quickly - my one son is going back to work ( a good thing of course ) and my other son will be moving to the city this later this fall. They will both be home on a regular basis to help with all of this stuff, but in general, I'll be on my own - unless something changes with their plans, I guess. So I'm thinking I might have to hire a friend of my husband's - who does do some carpentry and painting. But! I would only be able to afford to have him do the work as I get the $. None of this is easy, that's for sure. I'm quite sure I have to lower my expectations about when anything in the house gets done! My expectations were already kind of low, now they're way down there
  13. Lost my husband in June

    Thank you - and yes I'm seeing my Dr. next Thursday and will definitely be bringing up how I've been feeling. My doc has been away for a month and I'm really glad he's going to be back. He's a good guy, he knew my husband too, so that kind of helps. You are so right about not having our husbands or wives there to be the sounding board. Now there's just me. Well, my sons are here and the've been wonderful, but it's not the same, as we all know. And they're hurting too. But yes, I'm blessed to have my sons around.
  14. Well, add another ciggy soul sister! I had cut back to just a very few, after Al died all that changed, it's almost full speed ahead. It has to stop and asap, I know. I don't have a sweet tooth but lately I love all kinds of crummy gas station type food if you can believe it. e.g. what I call gas station chicken, etc. Good grief! I never used to touch the stuff. And the swearing - that too. Although I say it mostly to myself, it's still there. And at some points in the evenings I finally become so tired I can just feel my patience is down to a very, very thin line. I don't take it out on anyone though, I can just feel that I've hit the last straw for the day! At that point I start to pray, because I know I'm not doing myself any good at all.
  15. Lost my husband in June

    Hi, just kind of an update here. It's now been just over 2 months since my husband passed. I have to say, I don't think I'm doing all that well. And yes, I do know that's not unusual, it hasn't been that long. In the first month or so there were just so many things that had to be done with the paperwork, changing over things to just my name, all that stuff. I'm still working on some of it, but there isn't as much left to do now. Anyway, I managed to get in a bit of a panic about a lot of the paperwork, at any other time I would have been the one who would have handled that kind of thing with no problem at all. Not now! not with paperwork for my husband now that he's gone. Anyway, now there are many household repair and maintenance things that have to be done since Al and I had kind of put them on hold because he had a lot of neuro pain in his back and now of course, it all has to be done. It's all kind of overwhelming. Mind you, my sons are going to help and probably do most of the painting, flooring that needs to be done. Al and I were going to do it, or hire a friend of his, but as many of you know, hope springs eternal - Al kind of always thought he'd start to feel better and be able to do more. ** The neuro thing isn't why Al died, it was something he would have had to live with for the rest of his life, and it was pretty bad. Also, now I find that I've been hit with a back/sciatic flare which is really putting a hold on things. I kind of wonder if the last two months and all the stress has brought it on, I suppose I'll never know! Whoops, see I'm rambling a bit here. One thing I can say its, I don't post often here, but I stop by and read on a very regular basis. On the days when I honestly think I might be losing a few marbles because of the grief I can come here and see I'm probably not the only one feeling that way. It's a great comfort.