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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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Luna1

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  1. MilaMila - Thank you so much for your word: its truly relieving to have someone outside the family acknowledge that this is normal. Its a very good reminder to think of their pain, even thought its hard being kneedeep in my own. Its good advice. Ive though since decided to get some help with this issue, I need to talk to someone face2face, and not carry it on my own. It will be worht it in the long run. Chrismikemom - I feel for you, its still very fresh for you. Even though things are hard, it is true that it does get better. I still believe that if you are sinking into a depression, get help like Im going to do. There is no need to suffer or carry it alone. Atleast where I live there is good support within the medical community, maybe its the same for you. I loved an article i read that someone posted about nurturing the relationship, even if the person is gone. So im doing that now, I talk to him when Im at my lowest, im going to create a photobook with him, and I light a candle whenever I miss him. It sounds cheesy, but it helps. And we dont have all the answers today, we dont know what happens after we die, and therefor we cannot rule anything else out. Its a comforthing thought, atleast for me. Much strenght and love to you all
  2. Cindyjane - thank you for your kind words. It means alot. I'm just curious, to all who've been through loss, how did it affect the remaining family? In my case there's been quite alot of turbulence, and its truly a new situation for me. None of us are acting as before and its really difficult to handle. Is this normal? does it blow over..? Any advice is much appreciated.
  3. Thank you so much for your kind words, it's exacltly how I'm feeling. There is still alot of turmoil in the family, and its really wierd because there wasn't much before. I feel as if the whole dynamic has changed, and... honestly I don't recognize myself or my own family. I don't know if it makes any sense...its just really hard to cope with that at the same time as grieving and at the same time as trying to keep up normal worklife, friends, social etc. its just hard. Is this normal too? I wonder if anyone else has experienced this. I feel for example that some of my older siblings are much rougher on me and my mother doesn't seem to care or have energy to deal with the turbulence... I dont know, this is completely new territory for me... Any advice would be much appreciated.
  4. I'm also new here, and it's so inspiring to read what you are all writing. Its so nice to know that you're not alone in all this.. what advice to you have to someone who's gone through loss recently..? how did you guys cope? how did you get through it? Does it get better with time, or worse? Any help is much apreciated.
  5. WOW, these posts could have been written by myself - its truly relieving to read that Im not the only one who feels this way. I lost my dad 5 months ago to cancer after 2 yrs of illness, and since then i barely want to be part of my own family anymore. And i used to be very close to them. Its so odd, like Im a different person. But now reading other peoples experiences make me feel like this is my symptoms of handling grief and even though its not desirable, its completely normal. I just dont care the same way I used to before and I thought there was something wrong with me. Good to know its not. Thank you all!
  6. I'm so sorry for your loss, I resonate with so much of what you're writing. I lost my father 5 months ago to cancer and I had the same "oh, this is not so bad" reaction until it came down hard on me. My problems have been more on the fact that i don't want to be part of my family anymore, which is wierd, but maye its common also in some way. Anyway, regarding my mother in all of this, we and she has done evertthing so she's not alone too much of the time. First she stayed with us for a cpl of weeks and now she's with her sister abroad. Does your mother have any relatives she can visit? Any friends? If not there must be a therapist closeby she can lean on? You shouldn't be burdened with your mother at this point even though I know its hard. She has to take care of her own sorrow and deal with it head on. Is just how we did it on our family..much love to you
  7. I think that you need to structure up the school work and adress it head on - then you will feel much better, also about loosing your dad. When it becomes too much for me, I stick to a priority list to have some form of structure of my day. Did you know that 20% of everything in your schoolwork will stand for 80% of the results? Meaning, there must be one assignment that is more difficult and more important than the other ones. Focus on that one for now and skip the rest! I'm sure that if you show that to you teacher you will gain some goodwill and momentum forward. I am truly sorry for your loss and I know there are no words that can take the pain away. But if I can motivare you to complete one school task, I'm convinced it will create some good energy in you and you will feel much much better. And also, I have from time to time been eating antidepressants that help instantly when you are at the bottom. If you truly feel overwelmed and depressed - seek out a doctor who can help you. Antidepressants are in my humble opinion one of the most amazing things we created on this earth. It saves lives. Hope this helped a little. Much love to you, and I have no doubt you will do wonderful things in your life. Hugs.
  8. Hey everyone, I'm new to this place and I've been reading some of other peoples posts and somehow it's easier to support someone else, but not yourself. Odd. Anyway, I lost my father to prostate cancer about 5 months ago, after almost 2 years of struggling. The conclusions I can draw at this point is: - At the beginning I mourned but it didn't affect me that much. I blocked out everything just to move on with my life. I was actually proud that I handled it so well, and was saying this to friends and family. - Then boom, earlier this month it just hit me. Maybe it was triggered by my work situation, I don't know, but all of a sudden the depression hit me. It's a little better now, but I was truly surprised about it, it felt wierd that it came so long afterwards. - Since then for some reason, I've isolated myself from my family, fighting with them and just not wanting to be part of it anymore. I don't know, is this normal? This is unknown territory for me, since I'm normally very close to my family. Maybe it's something I have to go through I don't know. - Last but not least, I feel like a different person since he died. A more darker and cynical side of me has emerged and I don't really recognize myself. Is this also normal? I guess time will tell how it develops, but I hope I return to my sunny and happy self soon.
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