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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Wildeyes

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About Wildeyes

  • Rank
    Newbie

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Loss Type
    Sister
  • Angel Date
    1-29-2017

Converted

  • First Name
    Amanda
  1. Lost my sister to suicide

    On Jan 29, my sister committed suicide. She was 48. Nothing has gone right since. My Mom told me what the coroner's report said about the specifics of how she died, and my overactive mind made a mental picture I didn't want of what it might have looked like. (She jumped off the bridge at a large river crossing) I never had the kind of relationship I wanted with her. She was 12 years older than I am, and for much of our lives we were in different stages and just never seemed to connect, even though we both wanted to. Just couldn't figure out how. I'm angry with her, I miss her so much, I think of her all the time. Everywhere I go I see something that reminds me of her. O keep shoving the pain and the tears away because I feel like I have to be strong for my kids and mom (mom lives with me) but I also just simply don't know how to process this. I'm angry she left not only me, but what it's done to my mom and to her kids. She left behind a two week old granddaughter. My neice has to raise her without the support I know she needs. And her youngest daughter is a mess now. She was a handful to begin with and she needs her mother, and I'm angry with her for depriving her of that. But mostly I just miss her.
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