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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie


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About Fernicity

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    Midwest USA
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  1. Til death do we part

    I'm starting year two of widowhood. Lonely? Of course. Missing my best friend? Yes. Learning to live without him? Yes. Learning to love life again? Yes. Is my life perfect? No. Am I tired of being told how a widow should act? Yes. Am I tired of the VA screwing up the order for the cremain's plaque? Definitely. My husband's ashes are still sitting at the funeral parlor waiting for the VA so I can bury him. So frustrating. Tired of being asked why I don't keep hubby's ashes in my home? Yes. I find the concept of keeping his ashes in our home totally creepy. And I'm tired of people telling me that I shouldn't feel this way. I miss my husband every day, but that life is just a memory. I'm redoing our/my bedroom this summer. Re-painting, getting a new smaller bed, etc. My hubby had picked out the paint and all the furniture, as it made him happy. But, I want the room to reflect me now, not what will never be again. I also want to date. I want to love again, but will not ever marry again. I never want to hear, "I'm sorry..." again. I am so lucky to have marvelous step children. I'm a permanent part of their lives. Not everyone is so fortunate. Yes, I'm rambling. I've noticed that I do that quite often nowadays. I guess, I just need to ramble, vent and even receive validation for how I am dealing with being a widow. We are all different. We all survive this trauma in different ways. Am I required to mourn in a more traditional manner? Isn't it enough that I loved my husband?
  2. Moving on with Life

    Why do people not help us to move on and love our lives? Why do some try to force us into their ideas of appropriate mourning? I don't love my hubby any less than those who have been in deep mourning. I just want to honor my husband by living and enjoying my family and friends. What is so wrong with that?
  3. My husband died a year ago. I miss him, but realize the past is the past. I don't want to take off my wedding rings, so I've been wearing them on my right hand for 6 months or so. I was a caregiver for him for 4 years. Currently, I am keeping a long distance eye on my elderly mom, having made five 600 mile round trips in the past 2 months. She can be on her own, except she gets anxiety bouts since getting out of a nursing home physical therapy rehab. (Her doc finally put her on Lexapro, so I hope it helps!) I find myself getting worn out emotionally as I did with my husband. I miss being at my own home. I've only spent 2 weeks at my own house in the last 2 months. My siblings, for unknown reasons, can't or won't deal with Mom's issues. I'm retired and widowed, so they think it's up to me. I don't mind spending time with mom, but I need home time, too. I also want to date. Seriously need male companionship. An adult male stepson lives with me and we are great roommates and have fun, but I also need to find a love interest. However, due to finances, I shall never remarry. I have lots of years ahead of me, and don't want to waste any of them through perpetual grief. Some folks think I'm not appropriately grieving, but I loved my husband. It's just that I have never felt the need to stop living and enjoying life. This month, I am re painting our/my bedroom, getting a new smaller bed, pitching a few dressers and making our/my room work for me. My friends are horrified. Why? I've always hated the color my hubby picked out for our room. I'm moving on... Am I the only one? Why do people try to make me feel guilty for wanting to live and enjoy life?