It was the 4th March 2016 I was at my friends surprise 21st birthday party, enjoying our night - my mum called, she was baby sitting my nephew and nieces as my brother Charlie and his wife were out for dinner. She wanted me to go home, and look after the kids as my brother Oliver had been rushed to hospital and she couldn't get hold of my other brother. I told her I couldn't look after the kids, as I had a lot to drink and didn't feel responsible, not realising how serious things were with Olly.
I told my mum to contact me when she knew what was going on, I then got a phone call about 1:30am on 5th March - My brother Charlie was on the other end of the phone, telling me to come home, I asked was olly ok? he responded with you need to come home, I said what's happened tell me now! he then said those dreaded words 'his dead' at that moment everything around me was dark, I collapsed to the floor screaming, unsure of how, what and why this happened?
my partner came and got me and we went to my mums, walking in I still didn't believe what I had been told, the room was cold, I just looked at my brother and mum and knew at that point Olly was gone.
It is now over a year on, and I still cant go a day without thinking about him, without crying, without asking why?
he had a heart attack at work, he had no previous major heart problems - why did this happen? how did this happen to a 32 year old man?
I don't know if I will ever be able to understand or cope with this. I just don't know how.