I am recently widow been 2 mnths now I don't want live wihout him anymore b4 he pass we talked & brought 2 plots so when my time comes I can be bruial with him but i don't want wait i want be bruial now so i can be with him..he pass from cancer he did 4 sugery alot chemos and last he wouldn't able to do is radiation..bc trial one his liver number was to high.. I don't have anybody my so called family move on onto their own things..hubbys family esp his sister which i hate the most she did bad stuff to us i hate her so much she don't email me at all ..hubbys 1 friend keep in contact with me..have few friends who text/call me.. I didn't need anybody when he was alive bc i had him n him only its why i want to be with him so much bc i can't take this toture no more I am extreme depression...am admit myself to hosp widow support group of cos they said i will be like this bc its 2 mnths since he pass but it wouldn't matter how long it will be in year or longer bc he is my 1st everything..i will miss our shopping, together us visting his yng sister that i love he has 2 sister older one that did bad stuff but yng sister she is in nurse she love me she married me and got married. I will miss us doing things hug,kiss, Physical Intimacy that together we had..we talk about having 1 baby/adpot..guess that won't happen..pls i don't want hear oh you will find other guy...No i don't want find other guy..I am married to my hubby he was my 1s and my last it's what i told him when he was alive that hes my 1st n last n he told me i am his 1st n last i am still wearing rings when he give me and i give him n its in his casket.. how do you all cope without having no Physical Intimacy with your spouse. i am suffering heartache here been crying all day none stopped..He told me we joined at the hip. heard online about it's true there is such called heart broken death spouse...my god parents pass 1 year apart god dad in 2011 my god mom 2012 i missed her so much then but i miss soo much of my hubby bc its closer to your spouse connection i never felt anyone like this..only to him i will miss us doing events like bday,annvis,holiday n our last holiday was Chanukah dec 25th but we did extra day early dec 24 we exchange gifts..i told him i should vid record to have for memories and all other our holidays as well which i forgot to do i said there is vday which he didn't make it bc he pass b4 vday.. now I fell awful not doing that vid record so i can watch it..now all i got in memories about it. i did record his voice/vid other times.. I don't want live any longer..my so called family don't understand how bad lossing spouse they go on with their own lifes.. I been watching youtube The G Team Paranormal Investigators she talk to her son who lost his life 2 yrs ago.. she and her family into this stuff talking and making contact with spirit.. she help other people going thru and need to talk spirit love ones..she not fake i did in fact spoke with her on fb. she using spirit box. i brought myself and been doing session with my hubby from other side and voice record so i can play back n hear him. its not same as him being physical alive. How do you cope nothing having Physical Intimacy...I fell hopeless not having next to me in bed n us holding each other while we sleep n stuff.. I don't think i can go any longer without him being next to me. I am so badly numb been in tears too..he used to say nice things when i had nice things to wear now i wont get to hear that. n spoiled each other on events.