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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

My girl is in heaven

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Everything posted by My girl is in heaven

  1. Loss of an Adult Child

    Lesley. Am so glad your taking it so well and are able to find u can bounce back from things better now. Wish I could do that. You are so so much stronger than me. Thank you for sharing with us. Lou. Sorry you and your wife are feeling rough. All the winter bugs going around I guess. If you don’t mind me asking did they tell you your son died of a cardiac arrthymia. My daughter was put down to drowning cause she was in the tub but they think what made her collapse was cardiac arrthymia. No drugs, alcohol, no family history of heart disease. Just a very strong healthy girl. The reason I ask is because a very kind internal medicine dr told me that that type of death is the most peaceful death you can have. He said if she felt anything it might have been a little woozy but absolutely no pain. He said he knew that 100 %; she did not suffer or feel any pain. He said one moment she was in the shower and the next she would say hey here I am in heaven. Those words have given me so much comfort and I didn’t know if they might give you and your wife a little peace in knowing that. Take care. leah. You poor dear you always have so much to deal with but somehow u trudge on. So your surgery is next wed. Hope u get some rest and will be praying for you. Oh I so so hate January. It seems to go on forever.
  2. Loss of an Adult Child

    Well I guess I shouldn’t complain I’ve got two games I’m watching and just realized LA game is on at ten. But still it’s January, few days away from Kira’s birthday and I’m finding. I feel like I’m on a middle line and can swoop one way or the other. My family and especially my one sister have hurt me so bad. I totally didn’t see any of that coming in the days before. I’m really missing the boat on this one. Cause I just can’t see why breaking down and crying at my dads bedside when he just died is inappropriate. I don’t get it. And since nobody will talk to me I might never know. Anyway I know he is with my Kira and nobody can take that away. I just feel like the little bit of ground I had gained this year is gone but I’m going to fight hard to get it back. And my circle gets yet smaller. I am so guarded now. I know my husband is here all day but I just keep checking my front door to see it is locked. And bless his soul he is not a cheery person himself but is trying hard to bring me up a little. I need to get some control back in my life and some normalcy as it is for us bereaved parents. Maybe tomorrow I will get up and decide to carry on with what I need to do. Lots of buckets in basement to go thru but they will be painful., but need to be gone thru. Tomorrows got to be better right. I know I make a really good blueberry coffee cake. I’ll make one for you guys tomorrow and everyone come over at 300. Now that would really make me happy.
  3. Loss of an Adult Child

    Oh dear Lesley. How horrible to have to hear that. I would not have survived that. I guess the boy is paying tribute to tommy but isnt that going too far. At least he gave you a heads up. But still i cant believe how that must have gutted you to hear that. My heart is just breaking for you rigjt now and like dee am teary eyed. U have come so far and r a beacon of light to so many. I almost feel angry that this boy would do this but it is all about how u feel. Did u come away with some peace or just torment. Hold on tight dear friend as u will probably be processong this for awhile. I wish i could come over to your house and make u a nice warm drink and i would just keep hugging you . U know we r all here for you..just reach out whatever yoy r feeling. Susan So glad to hear from you and best wishes for a speedy recovery. Vito is sweet as ever. Keep us up to date how u are doing.
  4. Loss of an Adult Child

    Niques moms. Glad you got a counsellor. Right now to just put that one foot in front of the other would be enough. I suffered from PTSD for several months or years don’t even know now. My daughter collapsed and died in the tub and I pulled her out. But eventually they became less prominent and sometimes I still will have a trigger that takes me back to that day but not like the beginning. I was on a lot of medication for PTSD too. I wish I could take those sights and sounds away from all of us. So unfair to have to live with the loss as well as those heart breaking sights and sounds. Remember day, hour or even one minute at a time right now. No further. You might be lucky and have super good friends and family around you right now. I thought I did too, but found that one at a time they all dropped off and went back to thier lives and act like your child never was. That has been the most sobering and heart breaking of anything for me was when you realize nobody cares. If that happens to you don’t keep letting them hurt you time after time, we on this site will always be here and understand. You will never be judged on how you grieve or how long you grieve. It’s a life long journey. My heart is breaking for you right now as I remember the beginning. But is good u have found this site. We will rejoice when we see you find a tiny bit of light and will pick you up when u stumble and fall. And I know u might not believe it right now but in time you will learn to weave this into your life and the light will find a place to peak thru. Take care dear friend. My heart is breaking right along with yours. Luanne colleen. Everyone is entitled to those stay in your housecoat days. Unfortunately cause I don’t work I do that far more than I should. I don’t know what 10 will feel like for you but will know what June 19 will feel like. Dee and sherry and others good for you to have been on here so long to help light the way for the rest of us. Sadly there are always newbies. Leah, good luck with surgery. Sending prayers your way. georgina, Susan...how r you guys doing these days. thanks Kate. The thing is I was doing ok with my dads death all the days in the hospital. All of us got a good visit and goodbye with him I hen just cause I broke down and cried when he took his last breath they said my dad didn’t have a peaceful death. That is the most hurtful thing I have ever had said to me. How could someone say that to another person. That’s beyond cruel. Especially when they knew it was my daughter taking her grandpa to heaven. Still trying to see if I can pull my way thru this one. I was so so sure that this sister was going to always be there for me. So many different issues to deal with at once. But I still think our new buddy Lou was a sign from my dad . Just too many coincidences and for me to be first one on that site, I know that was my dad and Kira saying u keep going. i got my name from my dad , I was 4th girl so they had to name somebody Lou. And besides how often do you come across somebody with the name Lou, right new buddy. U were a sign .
  5. loss of my son to drugs

    Hi nicks dad. Sorry just noticing you here now. Please come over to loss of an adult child website and pick to >> to get to the newest post. There are lots of wonderful kind and compassionate grieving parents.we can help you. U don’t need to go to Thru this alone. Yes it is something you can’t just run from cause it will follow you. Please let us hold your hands and help you to find a bit of light in your life again. Luanne
  6. Loss of an Adult Child

    Colleen. I will be 7 this year. I have never had the feeling that how many years feels any worse or better. I will always remember your Brian and my Kira on June 19th though. Niques I can’t express my sorrow enough for your loss of your lovely daughter. I lost a 17 year old daughter six years to go from an apparent cardiac arrthymia. I was completely zoned out in shook for months. Couldn’t even cry for the longest time, . I know how your heart is breaking for all that could have been. Just to put one foot in front is all you can hope for right now. Keep coming here I promises you you do not have to walk this journey alone. There are many hands to hold here. EMDR was booked for me but when I looked intio it it didn’t sound like it as for me so I cancelled. Lou . I love your presence here, . I hope we can help each other, you certainly add a very different flavour here and are most certainly welcomed. I hope you and your wife work things out . The lost of a child puts enormous strain on a family. I can tell you just little baby steps just limping along is all u can do right now,. This is so new and raw for you and your wife. Please ignore the ignorant uncaring people. Cause none of us are like that on here. You will never me alone in this journey. Just reach out. Lou. .
  7. my sons

    Rainie. So glad your back. So sorry for all the tragedy that seems to follow you. When i was here in april you were one of so many who reached out kindly and saved me from sinking. I cant even begin to image the pain and sorrow you must bare at losing two children. Lesley is right come back to loss of an adult child. Lets take one thing at a time and work thru it. Let us help you rainie. Ive wondered so many times how ypu have been. Luanne. Kiras mom
  8. Loss of an Adult Child

    Ok been driving me crazy last few days. If you think I’ve lost my marbles please say so and I will delete this post. There is absolutely no one other then you guys I would even tell. As you know I recently lost my father and have been very upset about how my family treated me. I been doing the depression thing a lot and not getting off the couch. Really battling about whether this going to pull me down and wipe out any baby steps I have gained or not. well a few nights ago our new friend heart hurt came on to loss of child line . I hadn’t been on there in awhile and no one else seemed to be around, I was feeling pretty down myself, but I read his post.. so he says his son suddenly collapsed with some kinda of unexpected cardiac event...ok that’s. Coincidence. I can certainly relate to him there. And further conversations how nasty people can be to the bereaved.. well yeah I’m a six year expert on that one. So ok, this is kinda weird. And then. I kid you not. He says” I’m glad I found this site and you Luanne. Just call me Lou. (Really that is my first name!)...well guess what you think my dads names was Lou. Really it is. As we have all been talking to him now he said he is 56; so am I. Then he says his anniversary is on January 2 nd..the day my dad died. Is this not a message from my dad saying you go and help as many sad people as you can Luanne, me and Kira are proud, don’t let the others bring u down. Get up and keep going. Or am I just so desperate for a sign to carry on again after these latest events. I mean I’m not usually on that site, I was feeling pretty crappy myself so don’t know why I answered, then come on a child who died the same way as Kira. ..which isn’t really common, and no freaking way can this guy say his name is Lou...The same age as me and then mentions the date of January 2nd. Sorry hearthurt I don’t want to scare you away.. I not usuallly a complete loonie tunes....but I think you r a sign from my dad. He does not want me to be crushed under this burden and wants me to get going and try to help people. Really your name is Lou. ok kick me off if I’m completely lost my mind.
  9. Loss of an Adult Child

    Dianne and Gretchen. It never fails to surprise at how low people can get. No I know they can’t understand wholly, but just common sense and deciency. Heart hurt. I hope if nothing else your first week here u can understand to be oh so careful who to let into your circle. I have no one left from six years ago , and at the time it didn’t even enter my mind my family would all turn. I just want to save you from 6 yrs of hell I went thru trying to get it thru my thick head they do not care. Let those ones go early on don’t let them hurt you time and time again. I have been here since April and there has always been many people to praise my progress and help me when I stumble. This is a very good place to get help. Oh how I’d wished I found it years ago.
  10. Loss of an Adult Child

    Dianne, yes probably the most surprising and devastating thing I found was the total lack of compassion and nastiness towards grieving parents. Especially by the very people u thought would never leave you. Actually the ones who never acknowledged right from the beginning probably did me least harm cause they let me know right from the beginning they didn’t care. Wow what a wipe eh.....I like both those teams.
  11. Loss of an Adult Child

    Oh hearthurt. I’m so sorry it has come to this. I’m not a counsellor but just grieving mom but maybe you just need a bit of a break. To step back and take a breath. You will never be the same person your were before you lost your child. Your so new to this and just getting thru every aching hour is difficult in the beginning. I hope things work out for you. Keep coming here an d reach out where you will always be welcomed with open arms.
  12. Loss of an Adult Child

    Gretchen. I have never seen this picture of Forest. It is gorgeous. Picture really does say a thouse words. Beautiful on the inside and out. If we could only go back eh.. my Kira was just in heaven a few weeks before Forest. I hope she was one of the angels who welcomed him in. Let’s just keep gluing those pieces together the best we can. Hurtheart. See I told you there was lots of wonderful people here ready to help. Your emotions seem to be all over the place right now which is so normal. U can come here and be as angry or happy and everything in between. No one will judge. Everybody has every right to grieve any way they want as long as they aren’t physically hurting someone else. There is no step by step manual on what to do when you lose a child. We are all different. Do you think your wife might want to join us talking on line? It took me six years of being hurt time and time again to get it thru my head friends and family didnt and don’t care. My daughters passing meant nothing more to them then going to a Tupperware party. I expect either nothing from them now or something insensitive. And guess what...that’s exactly what I get. Please take those people out of your life if you can. This journey is hard enough without people being nasty and insensitive.. and your right they won’t change unless it happens to them at which time they will be banging down our doors with apologies. This has been a long and hurtful lesson for me to learn. And u may find u and your wife will not agree on a lot of things. I absolutely believe my Kira is in heaven and I will see her some day and I hope she is with all your wonderful angel kids. My husband does not believe at all. He gets upset if I think I see a sign. So we just simply don’t talk about it anymore. Keep coming back. I can’t evn think where I would be if I had not found this website. Hold on we are here.
  13. My son my son..Why???

    Moe. R u still there. We all post on loss of an adult child click on green circle with white peg and the >> will take u to the last post. There r a whole bunch of grieving parents just like u who have lost kids of all ages and circumstances. We understand your grief like no one else can . I wish I could tell u the pain will go away some day but it won’t. But gradually with a lot of hard work and time you will weave this grief into your new life. A life that none of us want but are forced to have. We will pick u up and hold your hands. We will always be here for you. You do not need to go thru this journey alone. Hope u come over to the loss of an adult website and let us help. Luanne Ontario. If you want a call or an email I can do that too. I will help you in any way I can. Take care.
  14. Loss of an Adult Child

    Sherry.. I’m going to take your advice and try to at least pack away the few Xmas decorations I had up. I just can’t seem to get off the couch. But of course there is a hockey game on now so that’s my excuse. Those couple baby steps I’ve made....all gone. No my family are not here for me , but that’s no different then the last six years, except this time it is verbal and physical assault. I don’t know if I told you but they had a burial after the service but it was only for a few....I wasn’t invited or told about it. Found out when I asked the minister. Thanks for your understanding here. gretchen. That collage is beatiful. Is it stain glassed. Do you sell your art. I wish I had your talent. Please post more if you have it. I love to see it. This is such a crappy time of year and with Kira’s birthday coming I feel the countdown on already. Hearthurt. That foggy then clear headed thing seems to come and go. It really can be two steps forward then one back. There is no right or wrong way to grief and definitely no time line. What ever u feel like doing or not doing is right for you.
  15. Loss of an Adult Child

    Heart hurt 1013. Looks like u found your way here. I’m not very tech savvy so I couldn’t tell u about setting defaults or anything. I’m so glad u found us though. It just gives me the shivers when u talk about your son suddenly collapsing because that is what happened to my healthy daughter too. It’s a hard thing to wrap your head around isn’t it? Your Billy sounds like a great kid, very mature beyond his years as a kid. I love that you have that hamster story to remember. Yes so sad the new ones didn’t get to know him but I’m sure you will all tell her about her uncle Billy as she grows up. I have two sons in thier 20s but no grandchildren yet. As far as how others treat you, I’m 6 years into this and t has been a very long hard lesson for me. This might sound bitter, but this has been my experience. Everyone at the funeral home with thier phony baloney “I’m so sorry, let me know if I can do anything, I’ll be thinking of you, I’ll give u a call sometime”. They walked out of that funeral home with one thought only “phew, I’m glad it wasn’t my kid”. And before they drove out of the parking lot it was over for them. Some hang around a little longer than others but one by one they all drop off...family and friends. I even got fired from my job of 29 years cause I was so depressed and upset about losing my daughter....they didn’t care. Somebody said to me once people don’t give a rats ass of your tragedy unless it directly affects them. I thought we’ll surely that can’t apply to child loss..nobody could be so uncaring about a grieving parent. Well...oh yes they can. I said to myself one day. Where did everybody go. Then I figured it out. They went back to the day before my daughter died and kept right on going with thier life. Sad but oh so true. I’m not trying to scare u that no one will care. Maybe you’ll be the lucky one who has true friends and family. But most people will probably be like your client. And remember people will set thier time line when you should be over it. I just want you to know that the people on this site will ALWAYS be here for you. You will never be judged on how you grieve or how long it takes. It’s a life long journey that none of us want to be on. We rejoice when someone makes a tiny step forward and will catch you when u stumble and fall. Well sorry if I’m yapping too much, just want to welcome you aboard but am so sad for the circumstances. And I agree we will meet them at Christ’s table someday. Take care my friend and know we are all holding your hands. Luanne
  16. Loss of an Adult Child

    Gretchen. I know what you mean about the closeness being gone. We are all thankful for our children we have left, but if we had a 100 kids we still feel the loss of that one. Yes life was beautiful.at one time but not for us anymore. But still we must go on. Before Kira died I was so paranoid about everything with kids. Guess I thought if I worried and had everything covered I could keep them safe. I really thought I could keep them safe. You have a beautiful family and love all the names. Guess we still just have to keep gluing those pieces in place. Your collage didn’t come thru may u can send it again. I’d love to see your work. Take care. Kate I’m afraid I’m one of those ones who didn’t get my flu shot. I felt really weak, shaky, and like my heart was slowing way down today thought I was going to faint. Ok now. Maybe I’m catching something too. Sorry you guys aren’t feeling the best. Hope it doesn’t last long. We went for a drive to Collingwood last summer. Found a really nice fish and chip place there we want to go back to sometime. Im thinking about suggesting it on Kira’s birthday 21st but don’t know yet. I’m only into hockey. Hate ice skating, skiing, curling. Collingwood about 2 hours away. Very pretty town. Wow too bad we didn’t live closer. Ross and I could watch the hockey together. My husband only watches a little so I end up yelling and screaming at the tv alone. I know this sounds mean but I love when the linesmen or refs fall or somebody takes them out. Ha ha. And of course the fights. And always hope for a Gordie Howe hat trick. As much as I’m trying not to I know my depression is starting to increase. I can’t get off the couch again and stay in pjs most of the time. Oh I am so hoping this latest stuff doesn’t weigh me down too much. My dad was 87, was still driving a week before he died, and got to stay in his home since 1959.He did not have cancer or any illnesses. He just simply wore out. He knew it was his time and he looked forward to seeing Kira. He lingered for a few days in hospital but was not in any pain and no matter what my siblings say I know he passed peacefully. I think that is about as good a deal as life can give you. I still miss him and can’t believe I won’t hear his voice again but I felt very good about being with my dad to sing, hum, read bible verses, talk about what him and Kira would be doing in heaven, holding his hands and gently stroking his forehead. Even in my fragile state (as we will alll be in to some degree), I was pleased that I did the very best for my dad. Of course only to have my family come crashing down me physically and emotionally and someone who wasn’t even in the room tell me I prevented him from having a peaceful passing cause I cried. Just struggling to get past this. Guess it might take awhile. Well hockey just starting I know my dad would approve of that. Hey sherry...you got the blue jackets...Columbus in Ohio right.? They r playing Vancouver tonight. Take care everyone.
  17. So Shocking

    Hearthurt1031. You need to click on loss of a child... then the top line in the forum will say loss of an adult child..there is a green circle with a whit peg in the middle of that click that then the two little arrows >> and that will take you to the most recent post. Let me know if you need anymore help. Please join us and we will help you. If you want a phone call or to email let me know. I will do anything I can to help you.. I know what your going thru. I think our children died of the same thing. Take care. Luanne ontario
  18. Loss of an Adult Child

    Oh Rainie, dear friend. Am so glad to hear from you. Please tell us how things have been going for you. I remember you being one of many kind gentle souls who were there for me when I first came here. I have wondered so many times how you have been getting along. I hope your back to stay. Luanne , Kira’s mom
  19. So Shocking

    Heart hurt 1013. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I lost my perfectly healthy 17 yr. old girl when she collapsed in the shower. She had no drugs or alcohol and nothing showed up so they ruled it a cardiac arrthymia which is apparently undetectable and doesn’t show up cause it is an electrical event. I know the sudden hurt, loss, sorrow. It’s unbearable and we all go thru it differently. I was in shock for a very long time and I know your probably not even sure how to put one foot in front of the other right now. I wish I could tell you the hurt goes away but it never will. But eventually you will weave your grief into this new normal that you don’t want. But right now u can only take a day; an hour, or a minute at a time. This web site has many caring and compassionate grieving parents who have lost children from many different circumstances and ages. And we have newbies up to people of several years here. And everyone of us will be here for you every step of the way. We will hold your hands and help you on this terrible journey none of us want to be on. Please come over to “loss of an adult child” website where we all post. You do not have to go thru this alone. Luanne. Ontario
  20. Loss of an Adult Child

    Colleen. I guess I should know what your weather is like, just what is on the young and restless right. Seems like we are all getting crazy weather this year. Think dee is right, the world is trying to tell us something. When I was a kid (my boys love it when I say that lol) there was sky high snow from November to April. Lesley. No matter how mild it gets here I know weeding and cutting grass won’t be back til may. I love your post not until you lose a child...... that is so right. After six years though I can’t decide to be royally pissed off at those other people, feel sorry that they have such little kindness or compassion for another human being or just feel glad for them they don’t know first hand what it feels like. Which way do you guys think about the unbereaved.? Dianne. Thanks for your support. Toronto maple leafs are closest to me so I probably see thier games more than any. But I am such a hockey junky I watch every minute of every team in the league I can. I don’t like L A though and I have a hard time picturing teams that have palm trees instead of snow . But give me an nhl any team and I’ll watch it. I live 25 min from Brantford where Wayne Gretzky is from but he is the only player who I have ever and still don’t like. His dad is a real class act though, going to hospital , kids hockey banquets, truly a great down to earth guy. Jake Muzzin (LA) is from Woodstock here and just built a nice new house here. Why when you could afford to build a house anywhere you would pick Woodstock Ontario. Guess cause his family his here. Some nights I can watch hockey from 730 til midnight with the games in different time zones. I’m always calling my cable company complaining if they aren’t showing a game. They probably draw straws to see who has to talk to me this time. I think I get most of the black hawks games so you can probably be sure if there is one on I’ll be watching. Kate will be watching the Winnipeg jets games. Well I guess getting back to my “normal crappy life” won’t happen quite as easily as I thought. It is still hard to know I will not hear my dads voice again, but I will always here those of my family yelling at me. I still keep thinking how can you treat someone who has already suffered such a horrible loss like that. I know it is over and done and I have to move on but I must say it would be much easier to just give up even the few inches of progress I’ve made and let it all fall in again. I was so so sure this time who would be there for me. Lesley you are so right .....”you just have to slog away one foot in front of another and keep on going even when you feel like giving up or that it is impossible to ever feel a semblance of normal again let alone any happiness”. That is just truly what it is all about for us. There is a local paper that comes every Thursday night . I only look at the grocery ads as I don’t want to see any news about weddings or babies or anything but I know my dads obit. Is in there so I read it tonight. He is with my Kira, right you guys? Kira finally has someone with her. Please tell me they are together. Oh dear I hope I can get past this but I just feel like the grief is tugging so hard on me again. Have a good night everyone.
  21. Loss of an Adult Child

    Thanks Sherry. One would think after you had lost a child people might be a little bit caring for your heart that is still broken, when you lose someone else. I appreciate your comfort. I just will not let all the hard work I’ve done up til now be all washed away by this. I’m very confident in my mind I did right by my dad before, during and after his death. And he is with Kira. Nobody can take that away. I bet your getting a wallop of snow there too. Supposed to be milder here tomorrow and maybe freezing rain. Gretchen. I know that feeling of just lying in bed with no will to get up. I did that for 3-4 months last winter and it is a horrible feeling. I didn’t care about anything. My heart and soul were torn up. Nothing but despair and family and friends who had decided my grieving time was up and I should be “over it” and would not be there for me. My child’s angel date is only a few weeks before Forests so I know the time frame your dealing with. Please, please my friend don’t just lay there and let the grief consume you.....because it will eventually. I don’t think I know about your other children and grandchildren other than Preston. I’d love to hear about them. R u the artist lady I recall. I would love to see your artwork, I can’t draw a stick person. Do anything you have to to put that one foot in front of the other and you go. My heart just breaks to think of you just laying there everyday. We will beat this grief, all of us will together. Our hearts will always be broken but we must show our other children there can be some light come in again. If you want a call or you want to email, let me know my friend. I will be there always. Susan. How is the surgery/recovery going . Let us know if u are able. Thoughts and prayers for you. Becky and Georgina. How r things going with your health. Let us know if you can, Tina. How is the new job. Hope u are enjoying it. glad u will have health coverage now. How’s Grayson doing. Dee and Dianne. So u guys live close together. Bet your getting lots of snow. Go black hawks. I’ve always loved that team. One of the six original. Kate. Sorry I’ve been tied up in my mess for awhile. Did u get to Calgary for Christmas. Bet the little dollies were so excited. As much as I look out side and complain about the snow everyday I always “I bet Kate has it worse”. How is Ross doing, eyes better now. Laurie, Colleen and devianz, what’s up with you guys. U all live in snow states. The only one I know is warm is Susan in Texas. lesley..thanks for your support. Glad to hear Rainey might be coming back . I hope so. Such a lovely lady. Leah, glad things are looking a little better for you and you have your dear Sena back. sorry for anybody I missed. I feel kinda guilty I’ve been whining about my situation of the last few weeks. Sorry if I was too needy but you guys always get, always.
  22. CYNTHIA

    Sabrina. Such a precious beautiful girl. I m so sorry. I lost my 17 year girl very suddenly six years ago. It was a cardiac arrthymia which cannot be detected. I feel your heartache and pain. I blamed myself for not responding to my girl soon enough but sometimes I think god had just picked her time. Please don’t blame yourself. The grief will be enough to deal with. You did nothing to cause your daughters passing. We are all on loss of an adult child, so please join us there. These are kindest most compassionate understanding people you will find. You can tell us anything u want any time. We all understand each other and hold each other up. Even the best of friends and families will eventually drop off one by one...but we won’t. Please come and let us help you on this journey that none of us want to me on. Take care dear friend.
  23. Loss of an Adult Child

    Thanks, I’m pretty sure this is it for my family. You can have disagreements about things, but especially a man physically assaulting a woman in a hospital where someone is dying and someone saying you prevented someone from having a peaceful death. And I know I will never get an apology from them. But those things cut about as deep as it gets. There’s just no getting over those things. They went too far this time. My mom has four other children who I know will look after her very well and I know she will be very happy to have them. Like I said I did right by my dad before during and after his death. And I know Kira took grandpa by the hands despite all the ruckus. The sounds of the angels singing drowned that all out. Hey tina. How you liking the new job. I’m sorry, I wanted to be there for you for your first Christmas but I had to drop out for a bit. I hope this job will be like a new beginning for you. You have come so far. Oh dear still have Christmas decorations up and house in bad shape of cleaning. But I’m sure it will still be there tomorrow. Have a nice evening everyone. And thanks again for your tremendous support.
  24. Loss of an Adult Child

    You guys are right my dad would love a garden in the spring. I know I wouldn’t be allow to at the cemetery but can in my own back yard. I’m still a little dumb struck, whoosy kinda at the events that just unfolded. How could someone say to me my. Dad could not die peacefully because of me. Especially to someone who has buried a child. That’s is a horribly cruel thing to say to anyone. But I think it a lot higher power than anyone in my family who decided if my dad had a peaceful passing. And I am totally convinced he did. None of thier yelling and assaulting me kept my Kira from taking grandpa home. Well dee you said one foot in front of the other so away I go. It’s going to start slow and take awhile to get these thoughts out on my head but I will. I have my phone number changed and will change my email. My husband won’t leave me home by myself so I feel pretty safe. anyway Lesley when is your surgery do you have home care in place or someone to help you. I so wish I lived close enough to come help. Leah. I am so sorry for all the fighting you have had to do and hopefully authorities will see that Sena is best with you. What happens to the little brother, is he still in care. R u able to fight for custody of him too. All of this physically and mentally exhausting for you. Please get some rest when u are able. Gretchen. 6.5 years is important your angel date is 2011; the same as mine. Look how peaceful and safe Preston looks cuddling up to granny. Sadly you are right that underneath is always that broken heart. But we have to let the light shine thru that even once in n awhile. Kate your story about the young widow was exactly my point. We are allowed to express our grief however we need to. There is no wrong way unless your physically hurting someone. All of this has certainly made my husband and I think how we do not want open casket or any family but our boys present. Wow certainly a good old fashioned Canadian winter eh.
  25. Loss of an Adult Child

    Thank you all. I wish hugs could go through computers. Your right dee, there really wasn’t that much of a family to salvage anyway. We got together for my dads last Christmas. No one will remember or acknowledge Kira. And I have long run out time limit they gave me to grieve. Unless they lose a child they won’t even try to understand at which time they would be pounding down my door with apologies. I could so easily get dragged down in that hole again with all of this. But with your encouragement and friendship I think this time I can handle it. I feel that peace and joy of Kira and dad dancing, looking at flowers. And my dad saying to me see I promised you I would look after her. And that takes away my siblings screaming, my brother in law man handling me, my mother taking there sides ( at least I think she has) and my sisters stories who wasn’t even there. My family seems to think they owned my dad and I didn’t have the right to grieve , but I did grieve in my way and have no regrets. One thing for sure we wouldn’t have to worry about a repeat of that scene. The joy in heaven drowns them all out. I have my husband, my boys, and a few good friends and of course you guys my new family. I am going to try and get up tomorrow with some joy in my heart. I haven’t even cleaned my house up since Boxing Day. Yikes. Maybe I will go to the cemetery (I wasn’t invited to the burial after the service). Anyway my grandmother always used to say onward and upward. Thank you all for staying with me thru us. Your support carried me thru. Love Luanne
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