Jump to content
Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
  • Announcements

    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

My girl is in heaven

  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About My girl is in heaven

  • Rank
    My girl is in heaven
  • Birthday March 3

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
  • Loss Type
    17 yr old daughter
  • Angel Date
    June 19, 2011


  • Occupation

Recent Profile Visitors

680 profile views
  1. Loss of an Adult Child

    this last picture was taken a month before on beach in Cuba. I will be strong today,.,somehow I have to be. I have to hold my husband up today. I just have to. Talk later.
  2. Loss of an Adult Child

    .... January 21 1994 -June 19, 2011 KIRA MICHELLE TAYLOR EVEY IVEY OVER MY KIRAS IN THE CLOVER, I SENT MY KIRA TO THE STORE AND THIS IS WHAT I SENT HER FOR SALT, VINEGAR, PEPPER ..................................................Then all of a sudden the light in my world forever went out......................
  3. Loss of an Adult Child

  4. Loss of an Adult Child

    Lesley. Am so glad your taking it so well and are able to find u can bounce back from things better now. Wish I could do that. You are so so much stronger than me. Thank you for sharing with us. Lou. Sorry you and your wife are feeling rough. All the winter bugs going around I guess. If you don’t mind me asking did they tell you your son died of a cardiac arrthymia. My daughter was put down to drowning cause she was in the tub but they think what made her collapse was cardiac arrthymia. No drugs, alcohol, no family history of heart disease. Just a very strong healthy girl. The reason I ask is because a very kind internal medicine dr told me that that type of death is the most peaceful death you can have. He said if she felt anything it might have been a little woozy but absolutely no pain. He said he knew that 100 %; she did not suffer or feel any pain. He said one moment she was in the shower and the next she would say hey here I am in heaven. Those words have given me so much comfort and I didn’t know if they might give you and your wife a little peace in knowing that. Take care. leah. You poor dear you always have so much to deal with but somehow u trudge on. So your surgery is next wed. Hope u get some rest and will be praying for you. Oh I so so hate January. It seems to go on forever.
  5. Loss of an Adult Child

    Well I guess I shouldn’t complain I’ve got two games I’m watching and just realized LA game is on at ten. But still it’s January, few days away from Kira’s birthday and I’m finding. I feel like I’m on a middle line and can swoop one way or the other. My family and especially my one sister have hurt me so bad. I totally didn’t see any of that coming in the days before. I’m really missing the boat on this one. Cause I just can’t see why breaking down and crying at my dads bedside when he just died is inappropriate. I don’t get it. And since nobody will talk to me I might never know. Anyway I know he is with my Kira and nobody can take that away. I just feel like the little bit of ground I had gained this year is gone but I’m going to fight hard to get it back. And my circle gets yet smaller. I am so guarded now. I know my husband is here all day but I just keep checking my front door to see it is locked. And bless his soul he is not a cheery person himself but is trying hard to bring me up a little. I need to get some control back in my life and some normalcy as it is for us bereaved parents. Maybe tomorrow I will get up and decide to carry on with what I need to do. Lots of buckets in basement to go thru but they will be painful., but need to be gone thru. Tomorrows got to be better right. I know I make a really good blueberry coffee cake. I’ll make one for you guys tomorrow and everyone come over at 300. Now that would really make me happy.
  6. Loss of an Adult Child

    Oh dear Lesley. How horrible to have to hear that. I would not have survived that. I guess the boy is paying tribute to tommy but isnt that going too far. At least he gave you a heads up. But still i cant believe how that must have gutted you to hear that. My heart is just breaking for you rigjt now and like dee am teary eyed. U have come so far and r a beacon of light to so many. I almost feel angry that this boy would do this but it is all about how u feel. Did u come away with some peace or just torment. Hold on tight dear friend as u will probably be processong this for awhile. I wish i could come over to your house and make u a nice warm drink and i would just keep hugging you . U know we r all here for you..just reach out whatever yoy r feeling. Susan So glad to hear from you and best wishes for a speedy recovery. Vito is sweet as ever. Keep us up to date how u are doing.
  7. Loss of an Adult Child

    Niques moms. Glad you got a counsellor. Right now to just put that one foot in front of the other would be enough. I suffered from PTSD for several months or years don’t even know now. My daughter collapsed and died in the tub and I pulled her out. But eventually they became less prominent and sometimes I still will have a trigger that takes me back to that day but not like the beginning. I was on a lot of medication for PTSD too. I wish I could take those sights and sounds away from all of us. So unfair to have to live with the loss as well as those heart breaking sights and sounds. Remember day, hour or even one minute at a time right now. No further. You might be lucky and have super good friends and family around you right now. I thought I did too, but found that one at a time they all dropped off and went back to thier lives and act like your child never was. That has been the most sobering and heart breaking of anything for me was when you realize nobody cares. If that happens to you don’t keep letting them hurt you time after time, we on this site will always be here and understand. You will never be judged on how you grieve or how long you grieve. It’s a life long journey. My heart is breaking for you right now as I remember the beginning. But is good u have found this site. We will rejoice when we see you find a tiny bit of light and will pick you up when u stumble and fall. And I know u might not believe it right now but in time you will learn to weave this into your life and the light will find a place to peak thru. Take care dear friend. My heart is breaking right along with yours. Luanne colleen. Everyone is entitled to those stay in your housecoat days. Unfortunately cause I don’t work I do that far more than I should. I don’t know what 10 will feel like for you but will know what June 19 will feel like. Dee and sherry and others good for you to have been on here so long to help light the way for the rest of us. Sadly there are always newbies. Leah, good luck with surgery. Sending prayers your way. georgina, Susan...how r you guys doing these days. thanks Kate. The thing is I was doing ok with my dads death all the days in the hospital. All of us got a good visit and goodbye with him I hen just cause I broke down and cried when he took his last breath they said my dad didn’t have a peaceful death. That is the most hurtful thing I have ever had said to me. How could someone say that to another person. That’s beyond cruel. Especially when they knew it was my daughter taking her grandpa to heaven. Still trying to see if I can pull my way thru this one. I was so so sure that this sister was going to always be there for me. So many different issues to deal with at once. But I still think our new buddy Lou was a sign from my dad . Just too many coincidences and for me to be first one on that site, I know that was my dad and Kira saying u keep going. i got my name from my dad , I was 4th girl so they had to name somebody Lou. And besides how often do you come across somebody with the name Lou, right new buddy. U were a sign .
  8. loss of my son to drugs

    Hi nicks dad. Sorry just noticing you here now. Please come over to loss of an adult child website and pick to >> to get to the newest post. There are lots of wonderful kind and compassionate grieving parents.we can help you. U don’t need to go to Thru this alone. Yes it is something you can’t just run from cause it will follow you. Please let us hold your hands and help you to find a bit of light in your life again. Luanne
  9. Loss of an Adult Child

    Colleen. I will be 7 this year. I have never had the feeling that how many years feels any worse or better. I will always remember your Brian and my Kira on June 19th though. Niques I can’t express my sorrow enough for your loss of your lovely daughter. I lost a 17 year old daughter six years to go from an apparent cardiac arrthymia. I was completely zoned out in shook for months. Couldn’t even cry for the longest time, . I know how your heart is breaking for all that could have been. Just to put one foot in front is all you can hope for right now. Keep coming here I promises you you do not have to walk this journey alone. There are many hands to hold here. EMDR was booked for me but when I looked intio it it didn’t sound like it as for me so I cancelled. Lou . I love your presence here, . I hope we can help each other, you certainly add a very different flavour here and are most certainly welcomed. I hope you and your wife work things out . The lost of a child puts enormous strain on a family. I can tell you just little baby steps just limping along is all u can do right now,. This is so new and raw for you and your wife. Please ignore the ignorant uncaring people. Cause none of us are like that on here. You will never me alone in this journey. Just reach out. Lou. .
  10. my sons

    Rainie. So glad your back. So sorry for all the tragedy that seems to follow you. When i was here in april you were one of so many who reached out kindly and saved me from sinking. I cant even begin to image the pain and sorrow you must bare at losing two children. Lesley is right come back to loss of an adult child. Lets take one thing at a time and work thru it. Let us help you rainie. Ive wondered so many times how ypu have been. Luanne. Kiras mom
  11. Loss of an Adult Child

    Ok been driving me crazy last few days. If you think I’ve lost my marbles please say so and I will delete this post. There is absolutely no one other then you guys I would even tell. As you know I recently lost my father and have been very upset about how my family treated me. I been doing the depression thing a lot and not getting off the couch. Really battling about whether this going to pull me down and wipe out any baby steps I have gained or not. well a few nights ago our new friend heart hurt came on to loss of child line . I hadn’t been on there in awhile and no one else seemed to be around, I was feeling pretty down myself, but I read his post.. so he says his son suddenly collapsed with some kinda of unexpected cardiac event...ok that’s. Coincidence. I can certainly relate to him there. And further conversations how nasty people can be to the bereaved.. well yeah I’m a six year expert on that one. So ok, this is kinda weird. And then. I kid you not. He says” I’m glad I found this site and you Luanne. Just call me Lou. (Really that is my first name!)...well guess what you think my dads names was Lou. Really it is. As we have all been talking to him now he said he is 56; so am I. Then he says his anniversary is on January 2 nd..the day my dad died. Is this not a message from my dad saying you go and help as many sad people as you can Luanne, me and Kira are proud, don’t let the others bring u down. Get up and keep going. Or am I just so desperate for a sign to carry on again after these latest events. I mean I’m not usually on that site, I was feeling pretty crappy myself so don’t know why I answered, then come on a child who died the same way as Kira. ..which isn’t really common, and no freaking way can this guy say his name is Lou...The same age as me and then mentions the date of January 2nd. Sorry hearthurt I don’t want to scare you away.. I not usuallly a complete loonie tunes....but I think you r a sign from my dad. He does not want me to be crushed under this burden and wants me to get going and try to help people. Really your name is Lou. ok kick me off if I’m completely lost my mind.
  12. Loss of an Adult Child

    Dianne and Gretchen. It never fails to surprise at how low people can get. No I know they can’t understand wholly, but just common sense and deciency. Heart hurt. I hope if nothing else your first week here u can understand to be oh so careful who to let into your circle. I have no one left from six years ago , and at the time it didn’t even enter my mind my family would all turn. I just want to save you from 6 yrs of hell I went thru trying to get it thru my thick head they do not care. Let those ones go early on don’t let them hurt you time and time again. I have been here since April and there has always been many people to praise my progress and help me when I stumble. This is a very good place to get help. Oh how I’d wished I found it years ago.
  13. Loss of an Adult Child

    Dianne, yes probably the most surprising and devastating thing I found was the total lack of compassion and nastiness towards grieving parents. Especially by the very people u thought would never leave you. Actually the ones who never acknowledged right from the beginning probably did me least harm cause they let me know right from the beginning they didn’t care. Wow what a wipe eh.....I like both those teams.
  14. Loss of an Adult Child

    Oh hearthurt. I’m so sorry it has come to this. I’m not a counsellor but just grieving mom but maybe you just need a bit of a break. To step back and take a breath. You will never be the same person your were before you lost your child. Your so new to this and just getting thru every aching hour is difficult in the beginning. I hope things work out for you. Keep coming here an d reach out where you will always be welcomed with open arms.
  15. Loss of an Adult Child

    Gretchen. I have never seen this picture of Forest. It is gorgeous. Picture really does say a thouse words. Beautiful on the inside and out. If we could only go back eh.. my Kira was just in heaven a few weeks before Forest. I hope she was one of the angels who welcomed him in. Let’s just keep gluing those pieces together the best we can. Hurtheart. See I told you there was lots of wonderful people here ready to help. Your emotions seem to be all over the place right now which is so normal. U can come here and be as angry or happy and everything in between. No one will judge. Everybody has every right to grieve any way they want as long as they aren’t physically hurting someone else. There is no step by step manual on what to do when you lose a child. We are all different. Do you think your wife might want to join us talking on line? It took me six years of being hurt time and time again to get it thru my head friends and family didnt and don’t care. My daughters passing meant nothing more to them then going to a Tupperware party. I expect either nothing from them now or something insensitive. And guess what...that’s exactly what I get. Please take those people out of your life if you can. This journey is hard enough without people being nasty and insensitive.. and your right they won’t change unless it happens to them at which time they will be banging down our doors with apologies. This has been a long and hurtful lesson for me to learn. And u may find u and your wife will not agree on a lot of things. I absolutely believe my Kira is in heaven and I will see her some day and I hope she is with all your wonderful angel kids. My husband does not believe at all. He gets upset if I think I see a sign. So we just simply don’t talk about it anymore. Keep coming back. I can’t evn think where I would be if I had not found this website. Hold on we are here.