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Luanne T.

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  1. Loss of an Adult Child

    Sherry. Thinking of you today as you have come to Lisa's angel date again. Many years have passed but im sure u remember like yesterday. I hope she touches your check or brushes your shoulder and lets u know she is still waiti g with her brother to see u again. I know your family isnt always there to remember but i hope u know im standing right there beside you on this day. Take care dear friend.
  2. Loss of an Adult Child

    Lesley. Thank you for your kind words. I so needed some encouragement right now.
  3. Loss of an Adult Child

    Tina I know dear, I know she is gone. Dee is right about the different layers of grief. Maybe that is some of the shock starting to wear off and the cold hard reality starts to set in. I still at six years in say that same thing "she is gone" and it is still sad but doesn't pack quite the punch it did in the beginning. You learn to weave the sadness and sorrow into a new life that you never ever wanted but none the less are faced with. I'm glad to see u coming on here and reaching out. I wish it didn't take me so long to find this site. Like dee says we are all holding your hands. If u ever want to talk on the phone or email I will be here for you. Jean. Glad to see you found your way on to the adult loss of child website. You see I told you there were wonderful caring people here . And unlike friends and family they won't fade away on you. Keep coming here and let us help you. Susan happy belated birthday. Lovely picture. Thanks for sharing. Wishing luck to your young man it looks like he has a wonderful future ahead oh him. Hi Kate, Sherry and Laurie. A small dusting of snow here. But I'm sure there is much more to come ugh. Tire places are booked up everywhere. People wait til the first snow and then panic at getting their snow tires on. Got mine on last week. Well just about to watch the jets. U must be pleased Kate they r doing well so far. Take care everyone.
  4. Loss of an Adult Child

    Somersky. Please do not feel guilty or responsible in any way for what happened to Skylar. You actually remind d me that the coroner did tell me that they had taken some tissue from Kira too. I can't remember why I was still in shock and don't remember what he said. . But hers was undetermined too except for the drowning which occurred after and that is all that showed up on autopsy. Both my boys had ecgs done I don't think they did blood but the ecgs were normal. So even with no genetics my daughter still died of supposed arrthymia. I don't talk about it much but my one son was diagnosed with a serious life long illness to which there is only treatment but no cure. This was a few years befor Kira died. Even though it is usually a hereditary disease there was no family history on either side and there was nothing my son did to bring it on. It was just pure luck of the draw or unluck I guess. We were devastated and thought that would be the worst thing we would ever face, although we had no idea of what was waiting. But my point is one child with a serious illness and one who died of things that usually have a hereditary component but in our cases there was none. I have gone over in my head a million times what things I could have done that would have caused these things somewhere along the line. But I just don't know. My thoughts and prayers r with u but please don't feel responsible. What ever causes these things is out of our control. U go after that dr as hard as u can. I should have reported my dr a few years ago for something he did to me. But u r right they have all the control and my dr. Is one mean nasty sob and I would be too afraid to stand up to him. He would crush me. But I hope u get some justice. Please keep us up to date. Hope your daughter is enjoying university. It is a good school and a nice city. Hugs Luanne
  5. Loss of Adult Son

    Jean. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son. I lost my 17 yr old daughter very suddenly as well six years ago. It is a long painful road that we bereaved parents walk. Tommys mom is right you will always miss him but you eventually weave your loss into this new life u never wanted. This site is full of parents who have lost thier children too and we all rally around each other and hold hands as we embark on this sad sad path. Please join us on loss of an adult child. Thst is where we all are. And we r here to stand by you. Please join us there and let us help. Take care. Click on loss of an adult child, and then two arrows will take u to the last post.
  6. Loss of an Adult Child

    Dianne we are just like u guys. No Xmas decorations, no one comes over or drops in. Have got rid of buckets full of decor that just hold too many memories. If I ask my boys if they want a tree or anything, they just say "I don't care". Glad u were able to go to the party and see michaels friends. I never, ever want to see Kira's friends and don't read the local paper for fear of any announcements. How far is Wyoming from you. Georgina. Glad your feeling a bit better. Can anyone give you a hand with chores? I wish I lived close enough to come over and help. Birthdays r hard. I start to feel the pressure when I get into that month. I totally agree I don't know what gods plan is for me. I am broken for ever too. I don't know who I am anymore. Guess we just have to patient and see what our role is. Susan. So glad you were not near the shootings. Texas has had a lot of bad things happen this year. Congrats on the baseball win but I am glad it is over cause they were cutting off some of my hockey games on tv. Lol that veto is adorable. This probably sounds like a stupid question but I noticed on tv coverage there were like maple or oak trees. I thought Texas was all palm trees and cactus? Isn't it hot there all the time. Excuse my ignorance. I love the pictures you send. Kate. Wow that was a close call. Guess your number wasn't up yet. So far we have had nice sunny fall weather with just a little bit of rain. They r calling for snow later this week so got my snow tires on today. Everybody goes nuts when the first snow fall and there is a huge wait to get the snows on. Just heard a b. C. Police officer was killed today in Abbotsford . So sad. R u and Ross watching the Canada Russia series starting tonight. It should be good. The jets r doing very well so far. Hope your son is getting better weather in Calgary. Sounds like it has been nasty. Lesley. Thanks for sharing the picture of your beautiful Tommy. Such a nice looking lad and a warm smile. I still can't believe the randomness of what happened to him. Truly unbelievable. I think u are right we have to be role models for grief. But oh that is so difficult to pull yourself up. We have been damaged beyond repair is what it feels like to me. But we do have to try for our loved ones. You r right it is time, effort and plain hard work to get thru. As I'm writing this on my iPad I have your tommys picture up on my phone. So here he is in my family room here in southern Ontario. I love the pictures of everyone's angels. Becky love your parrot Guess you gotta watch your language now eh? Prayers for your eye sight. Laurie I hope things go your way and you get your grandson. You have all my prayers. Would this be permanent total custody or r his parents still in the picture. I keep thinking about your sisters experience in the store. Gives me hope. Thanks and will be praying for you. Devianz so glad to hear your doing better both physically and emotionally. You said it's like meeting a new person and really u r new people. We will never be the people we used to be. Glad your son was able to enjoy Halloween this year. Your pottery is beautiful. You are very talented. Do u sell it? I hope you continue the way you have. so glad to see someone taking a few steps into the light. That represents a lot of hard work on your part. Good for you. Dee. Hope everyone is feeling better soon. Do you have flu shots there? They really push getting them up here but I don't usually bother. Sherry. Do you have snow yet? I think your weather is similar to ours. How are things going? Do you decorate for Xmas? Oh I guess u guys have thanksgiving in November. Isn't that when u guys have Black Friday Xmas sales? Take care Tina how are things going lately. You have so much on your plate. I hope u r just getting thru one day at a time. I worry so much about you watching that cd. That must be so hard on you. How is your son? Do u work and home school. That must be so much to do. Is South Dakota a hot state all year or do u get snow in the winters. I will look at a map as I don't know what part of the states u are in. Give us an update of how u r doing. Colleen you get winter right. I go by the young and the restless seasons so you must be the same as ontario. Have you been able to decorate since Brian's passing. I will always feel that connection as Kira and Brian share the same angel date? R u still working?
  7. Loss of an Adult Child

    Tinay. Anger certainly is one of the emotions that all of us go thru from time to time. It is all so unfair. Why was it our kids? Why us? Im afraid we will likely never know the answers. And if i did know i still wouldn't accept what it was. I truly believe we will get to hold our kids again someday. When i lament i havent seen my daughter in six years, my chaplain tells me that our angels dont have time measured as we do anymore. Thier time is eternity time and they will always be waiting for us. I think u r grieving as you should as painful as that maybe. U r still within the first year and that is difficult. U r not alone. We have all been where u are. I hope it helps u to know you have many arms around you here. Email me anytime if there is anything i can help u with. Hang in there tinay.
  8. Loss of an Adult Child

  9. Loss of an Adult Child

    Laurie. Wow.....my heart is pounding too. Amazing that she saw her son. Gives us all some hope. Thanks for sharing that.
  10. Loss of an Adult Child

    Susan. Lovely pictures. Thanks for sharing Is wyatt john your grandson.? Do u get snow in Texas or is it hot all year around? You must have a ice rink for the dallas stars? Is the clean up done yet from hurrican? Please send kind regards to your cousin for her losses. So sad to have lost son as well. How old was he Kate. How did the grandkids do last night? Bet they had fun. How old r they? I only had 20-25 kids. No snow so far here. Lesley. Yes halloween sad. Memories of ones past or what would have been. I packed kiras Halloween costumes away yesterday with her clothes bucket. But i made another step as small as it was. Georgina. Hope u are getting lots of rest right now. Leave the work to others. U have had a very turbulent year but hopefully the worst is behind.
  11. Loss of an Adult Child

    Dee. Prayers to your friends. We all know the journey they have ahead of them. U r such a good teacher dressing up at halloween and teaching them about helping others at Christmas. I bet u are making mark on them they will carry for a life time. I can honestly say i never had one good teacher either in public or high school. I always thought because we were such a small town (400) away out in the country we just got the teachers no other school wanted. And you didnt question anything a teacher said or did back then. I remember one poor boy who had to sit and pee his pants cause she wouldnt let him go to the bathroom. He was so embarrassed. If u got caugjt chewing gum she would stick it on the blackboard high enough you had to stand on your tip toes and stick your nose in it. And stay there. That was the grade 4 teacher. She was the worst. We were all so scared of her. I think i already told u once my friend and i picked some dandelions and took them to her door. She said she didnt want them and closed the door on us. We were so terriblt hurt. Your kids will remember you for being good and kind and how to treat others. That grade 4 teacher died of cancer a few years ago. I thought there were probably hundreds of kids recalling all the mean things she did. I heard her daughter grew up with a lot of psychological problems. I cant imagine what kind of a mother she was. Your kids r lucky to have you.
  12. Loss of an Adult Child

    Kate. Beautiful poem and oh so true . U can keep the snow, we don't have any yet. Jets have been doing good. well went thru 2 buckets of Halloween decor and costumes today. First time since Kira's gone. Sure enough her Minnie Mouse, witch and scarecrow costumes all still there. I could picture her in every one of them. And a happy Halloween sign she had made in 2005. Do I give to my boys, but what if they bring their kids over some day in them, that would be devastating. Send out to good will.. but I couldn't bear to do that either. After much agonizing decided to put them in the buckets with her clothes. I guess I can count that as another step I've made, dealing with her hallowween costumes. I find that everything as a bereaved parent is hard. The simpliest things right up to the really big things and everything in between. Everything is Something just to "get thru" with a trail of heart breaking memories attached to it. It is so hard to live without your child.
  13. Loss of an Adult Child

  14. Loss of an Adult Child