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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Roxanne MM

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About Roxanne MM

  • Rank
    Newbie

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Loss Type
    Suicide of ex-husband
  1. I was married for 40 years before the divorce was finalized. After six years of trying my best to try and get him to get help, I couldn't do it anymore. He swore nothing was wrong, even though we could all see it. And he became cruel towards me. I was "this" close to following him down that rabbit hole. This past Feb. 10 was the first anniversary of the divorce. On the morning of Feb. 14, he shot himself with a rifle. My oldest son found him. My in-laws want nothing to do with me, nor do my youngest two children. I don't know what I've said or done to alienate them, but I am SO thankful I have my oldest with me. He's actually doing the best of all of us, I think. He says it's because he wasn't surprised. This all sounds cut and dried, but my fingers are screaming as I type this. For better or for worse, he was my companion for 43 years of my life. I am SO angry at him. And I'm scared to death. I don't know how to exist in a world in which he doesn't live. It sounds callous, but I'm also broke without spousal support. I can't work due to physical limitations. I still live on the piece of land we bought together 31 years ago and carved out bit by bit. I'm so scary, I suppose, that there aren't any friends around, either. I understand that people are busy. I do. I keep wanting to delete this post because it doesn't sound right. But please know that I'm heartbroken, angry, scared, and alone. I just want someone to "talk" to who knows where I am in life. Please.
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