A few days ago, March 27, 2017 at 9:30 am I got a phone call that changed my life forever. When I answered it I heard my mom say"Bo's dead". My first thought was I could not have heard her right because that can't be true. So I asked her who is dead and she repeated the two words I didn't want to hear "Bo's dead". I remember screaming no and everything after that is a blur. Days have gone by and I can't remember where the time has gone.
Let me give you a little background on my relationship with my baby brother. Bo's was born in 1968, I was 4 years old and from the minute he was brought home from the hospital he was mine. I'm second to the oldest in a family of 8 kids, the oldest girl and Bo was the youngest boy. We grew up close to each other, our other siblings are scattered around the country but me and Bo never left each other unless he was locked up which he has been a lot. As a matter of fact he has been locked up in San Quinton prison for the past 12 years and was getting out next month. Bo had the use of a cell phone even though he was an inmate and we kept in touch everyday. We had so many plans for when he got out, he kept promising me that he would take care me. My life isn't that great right now, I am homeless and no income. I've been counting the days til he came home.
Then at 4am on march 27 my baby brother died from a heroin overdose sitting in his cell. His life ended and so has mine. I don't think I have ever felt this much pain in my whole life, my heart and soul ache so much. People flock to our parents, to my nephew but I sit all alone in a friends shed I have been sleeping jn. I haven't been included in plans to get him home, we live a long ways from the prison, or in the ceremony plans. No body calls to see if I'm OK or if I need anything. People should understand that a sibling grieves deeply when another sibling dies. But instead they are forgotten or ignored or left out.
I want my brother home like we planned, I want to hug him one more time, I want one more text from him. I want this unbearable pain to go away. I don't know how to go on without him. He was going to make life better again, us against the world. Now my world has collapsed.