I lost my mother a month ago on 9th Feb, she suffered from sudden cardiac arrest. I was not in my country, I just left in dec for my new job in other country. I was too much attached to my mom too, we both knew exactly what we are doing minute by minute, I usually talk to her on face time every morning and night, I talked to her that day in morning at 10 am and she left the world at 3.30 pm. I don't know why my family didn't wait for me. they cremated her at 7 pm next day that's when my plane landed exactly. I am in deep pain and shock as everyone expects me to be normal especially my in-laws. No one with their parents can ever understand the pain and grief i m going through. Its just a month and I can't believe my best friend my mom is not there. Its almost a month that I haven't talked to her and I know I will never be able to now. I don't know whom to talk, i keep on looking for answer on internet what happens after death, where is she? Is she fine? Was she in pain when she left the world? I am eating, I am alive without my mom? why? How? I want to meet her but how ? I hate people saying "you have to be strong"??? I am like "seriously???" Sorry I can't be. No one with parents can ever understand this grief. I just want to cry loud everytime, I can't bear people near me laughing and expecting me to be strong and move on.