Left alone

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  1. Dear Clearhead Thank you so much for your support. I am trying hard to control my emotions at least, trying not to cry in front of anyone. I miss mom a lot and I am still shocked and confused as she just disappeared, I keep reading our chats as we use to msg a lot, I am habitual of telling her every moment of the day from my food to my cloths. I still talk to her all day inside my head. She was and she will be my strength to live. The support in this forum is really helpful to everyone who is in grief. I would like to thanks every person writing and sharing their grief and supporting each other. Warm hugs to everyone.
  2. I lost my mother a month ago on 9th Feb, she suffered from sudden cardiac arrest. I was not in my country, I just left in dec for my new job in other country. I was too much attached to my mom too, we both knew exactly what we are doing minute by minute, I usually talk to her on face time every morning and night, I talked to her that day in morning at 10 am and she left the world at 3.30 pm. I don't know why my family didn't wait for me. they cremated her at 7 pm next day that's when my plane landed exactly. I am in deep pain and shock as everyone expects me to be normal especially my in-laws. No one with their parents can ever understand the pain and grief i m going through. Its just a month and I can't believe my best friend my mom is not there. Its almost a month that I haven't talked to her and I know I will never be able to now. I don't know whom to talk, i keep on looking for answer on internet what happens after death, where is she? Is she fine? Was she in pain when she left the world? I am eating, I am alive without my mom? why? How? I want to meet her but how ? I hate people saying "you have to be strong"??? I am like "seriously???" Sorry I can't be. No one with parents can ever understand this grief. I just want to cry loud everytime, I can't bear people near me laughing and expecting me to be strong and move on.