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About Mrsviden

  • Rank
    Cody Videnich
  • Birthday 06/26/1994

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Hot Springs
  • Interests
    Helping others, crafting, traveling, and cooking.
  • Loss Type
    Husband/Best Friend
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193 profile views
  1. Every evening my husband would do the same, put down his lunch box hug and kiss me as if he hadn't seen me in years, when it had only been a 12 hours. I too still look at the clock at 5:11 and wonder where he is at.
  2. I just don't understand why I got robbed of the best thing about my life. Why did I have to lose my husband? Why did the rest of these spouses on this site have to lose their husband/wife? Today I passed my final with a 95% and the first person I wanted to tell was my husband, and I couldn't. I struggle with knowing that he still loves me and I can't figure that out, on this earth we both told each other that constantly. We were best friends first we met when I was only 10 years old, I've loved him for over half my life. I just wish I could have that one more day, maybe then I could ask all my questions. I just miss him, more than anything in this world.
  3. Thank you KayC I'm just really struggling. Struggling within my own self.
  4. Francine thank you I'm glad I'm able to help others even if it is something as a post about him, myself, and the love we shared. I know that I'm fortunate to have been loved so much by someone. I miss his voice so much more than I could have ever imagined. I just hope he knows that. I'm so glad you also experienced such a great love for that length of time, I wish I had 45 years with my husband, but I'm thankful for the times we did have because again they're a lot of memories we made in the short 12 years we were together. I wish you well in all that you do and look forward to talking to you soon. Mrsviden
  5. Andy, thank you. You're right, everyday is painful. I can only hope that my husband is proud of me. The same questions roll in my head like a cd on repeat. I hope you are doing well, and as always you're in my prayers!
  6. Thank you for putting it into a different perspective for me. I always hated when he cried, and the same went for me. I just really really miss him I want him next to me again.
  7. This is just something written to my husband: Baby, I miss you. I wonder if what I'm doing would make you proud, would you be proud that I'm in school and that I'm about to graduate? Would you be proud that I have managed to get some major adult stuff done all by myself? Are you still proud to call me your wife? I feel like it's been ages since I've heard your calming voice, the one where you reassured me everything was going to alright. In the end you relied on my voice to tell you it was going to be alright and you said to me "no baby, not this time" I sit here alone, in your chair and just wonder what you would say about life now. You made me a better person and my life a better life, and now I just feel so empty and broken inside, most days I feel as if I don't feel anything. I need you baby, I need to hear you again, i need to see your sweet face again. I love you so much and I miss you. Love, Mrs.Viden
  8. I know right. Have you ever felt like you can't cry, I don't like having this feeling. This feeling makes me feel like I'm a bad wife and I'm heartless. finals and my state boards are next week so you can imagine the amount of studying that's happening. I just don't know anymore. My grief counselor says he sees signs of healing and that really bothers me, what does that mean? Does that mean I'm heartless, that I'm a bad wife, he's angry with me for coping? My heart, my mind is being consumed and I don't like this.
  9. Sadly I did call and he is the owner of the grounds...
  10. Thank you Francine, I don't think it would make me feel any better reporting it. I look at it as it just is what it is, I know I can't control what others say, not saying that gives them the right to say those things but this isn't the first stupid thing I've been told since my husband passed. Honestly the only thing that could make me feel better is having my husband walk right through those doors and saying hey baby, but I know that's not possible. Many prayers to everyone on this Tuesday...
  11. Hugs to you, I just have no words.
  12. Hey y'all... Yesterday I went out to the cemetery to visit my husband and tell him happy Easter. There I noticed tractor marks on top of his grave which I thought was odd because he's there in an open space(no graves beside his) I know one day they are going to mow over it when grass grows but I got really upset by it. Today I decided to call the cemetery and ask the reasoning behind it and he said the following "it happens sometimes when we have to get in and out of other graves, I said right I understand that but no one is around him, it's as if y'all deliberately rolled over it, he continued and said well it's your responsibility to purchase a vault which will prevent damage to the casket, (by the way, I did purchase that) he then said this probably isn't the first or last time it will happen, that's part of life and I will just have to get over it and hung up on me. Today I'm still trying to recover from yesterday, I just miss my husband, I sit here in his spot and close my eyes and when I open them I can imagine him coming out of the bathroom with my toothbrush and saying "you ready to go to bed baby?" I just really really miss him. I've said it before and I'll say it again who in the world knew grief is so exhausted, I'm mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. Hope everyone is doing well tonight... --mrsviden
  13. Funny you mention that right adter my husband passed I got the trinity knot which was his company's logo and then I love you next to it written in his handwriting from an anniversary card he once gave me. I agree it's a good reminder to look down and read on the days you feel like there is no way out...
  14. Andy, wow thank you for even thinking I'm brave. I don't see that in myself, I just see someone going through the motions and doing things to please others instead of worrying of myself. My sister is 12 and lives in Louisiana so I don't see her often, but when I do I feel as if I've got to hold everything together so others don't see me as weak. When you said the neighbors are less friendly that really hit home, before my neighbors would say hey neighbor every time we walked out the door but since my Husband has passed they avoid me simply because I know they don't want to hear how I'm doing, I'm assuming they know it's not too dang great. I'm a total different person and I used to could remember everything anyone ever said now I feel as if I can't remember what someone said 2 seconds ago. The only way I can think to put it is my head is consumed with so much it spits out new information. I miss my husband dearly, I don't know how the heck I am going to make it tomorrow but somehow just like the rest of everyone on here we will get through it. I don't have a family to spend Easter with, my sister is going back to Louisiana, but most of all I don't have the best part about me with me, and that's my husband. People who think they are comforting when they say oh but he's spending it in heaven and what a joyous thing that is, given that I'm religious and I know where Joe is, this is my first Easter without him, this is the first Easter I won't get to cook for my husband. I remember our first Easter as a couple and I wanted to be a kid again and hunt Easter eggs so what did my amazing husband do, he went to Walmart bought some eggs came home and hid them and then told me to go find them. It's those moments that I miss, I miss him going over the top just to see a smile on my face and vice versa. Im just lost, I feel the heaviness I'm carrying on my shoulders and I wish I could just have my husband back. As always I will be praying for everyone, not only today but through tomorrow and the next day, and the next... mrsviden
  15. Thank you for that prayer AceBasin