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About Sweetisabelle

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  1. Thank you so much for sharing your expierence, both with loss and with working in the university. I really appreciate hearing about what has worked for you and what you have seen with other students. I finally returned to classes last week, in the weeks leading up to that I only made it into lecture. Fortunately I did not miss too much, but getting caught up is a struggle. I'm trying to tough it out as I am so close to the end of the term, but I'm also realizing that by doing this I will/may have to scarfice some things (having to delay grieving, drop in grades-which I hope I can avoid). It has been a tough call. I am currently speaking to someone for support which has been great, and had the chance to talk to faculty. They have been helpful, and are giving me extensions on papers, allowing me to write exams a little later, and will prorate my grade for a missed test. They were able to offer more than I expected, and I think that has brought me some relief. Again, thank you so much for sharing your expierences with me. It is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness. I'm currently seeing someone for support which has been very helpful. I'm hoping to complete the semester, then I'll have 4 months off for summer, I think the break then will give me some much needed time, I'm just hoping to take things a day at a time until then. Your compassion is greatly appreciated
  2. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to this post. I really appreciate hearing from others in similar situations. I just returned to my classes full time last week- and my goodness, it is difficult. It is so hard going into seminars where none of my peers know the situation, I just feel so alien, not only because no one know, but because I feel like if you've never been in this situation you just don't understand. And I feel like I don't want to advertise to everyone about my mom passing. I told my profs and TA's, yet when going back to seminars nothing was said. I understand that maybe the TA's went comfertable saying anything to me... but it just felt strange. It is frustrating because I'm not performing to my full potential. I barely said anything in class, and half the time my mind isn't as quick as it was. Then there are the assignments and readings and exams coming up... I'm terrified my grades are going to drop severely. It is so tough, but I didn't want to throw my year away. i think you hit on so many things like taking the time to take care of me. I've been majorly lacking in the area, but I think taking the time to exercise,get fresh air , eat proberly will help a lot. I'm glad that I should be done exams by the end of April. Hopefully I can use the summer moths to grieve. I really hate feeling like I need to push my grief, and emotions away in order to get through this term. Honestly, I wish I could just spend my time taking care of me, and thinking about and grieving my mom. I feel like I need to spend time doing things that make me feel close to her. I feel so different saying that I rather be doing other things then school right now, because before this happened school was my everything. Thank you so much for sharing your expierence. I admire your strength and honesty. I admire that you took time off when you so needed it. I also think it is admirable that you are continuing to work on your phd (I'm dreaming of doing the same by I have a ways to go). Right now I'm in my first year and am only taking 2 classes, I can't even imagine the pressure you must be under. I wish you the best in your journey, and am sending many hugs your way. We are doing the best we possible could do right now. Sending love
  3. My mom had a pulmonary embolism a couple weeks ago. My brother and dad heard here yell for help. She couldn't catch her breath. I only saw her for a few moments as she wouldn't want us kids to see her. All I can remember is seeing the fear in her eyes, I heard her saying "I don't know what's going on" I remeber the sound of her breathing, and seeing her colour change, her lips going blue. She died in my moms arms. The abulence came and had to "shock" her. I remember them saying "clear". I didn't get to see them working on her at the home. And my brother didn't let me see her on the strecher going to the ambulance. The next time I saw her was in the hospital for about 10 seconds when they were doing chest compressions. But they couldn't get her back. I didn't get to say good bye. We were able to see her after she passed but I couldn't touch her (they legally had to do an autopsy- thats why... Another story). But these things also keep replaying in my head. It is awful and I am so sorry that you had such a scary expierence as well. I wish I could tell.you it gets better, but I Can't because I don't yet know My heart goes out to you. This is such a difficult situation...
  4. I am so sorry about your loss I feel like losing a parent in university really complicates things. Luckily I like at home as my university isn't too far away. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have to go back to university and leave home. That's what I'm worried about, worried that the school won't be able to help too much besides giving me extensions on a assignment and a missed test. But I have no idea how much extra time they will give me. And I don't know what can help me is getting my weekly seminar readings done. It is so overwhelming. 2-3 weeks doesn't feel like enough time, I feel like this grief will take months if not years.... But even to become a normal functioning person again, I feel would take at least 3 months minimum ... Its like school can't/doesnt know how to help If you ever need to talk to someone about this loss and school I'm here for you. It is so challenging.
  5. I lost my mom less than 3 weeks ago. It was sudden and unexpected and somewhat tramatic to me. She was not sick. I'm finding it hard to cope. I'm drained, it is hard to focus, I can't make decisions, I have no motivation, I feel very depressed... The list could go on and on... One thing I'm struggling with is returning to school. I went to a lecture for 2 hours today and I'm drained. I'm in a fog. Just going to this one class took everything from me. This week I will likely be talking to my professors (I've already emailed them), but we will likely be setting up times for make up test since I missed one, and assignment extentions. I wonder if there is anything else I need to address. My concern is the classes I attend in which you get graded based on participation. It is one thing to listen to a lecture, but going to class prepared and knowledge of topics at hand seems daunting to me. I haven't even been able to read anything from my textbook the last 2 weeks or so. I hate the thought of my grades dropping, I was doing so well, but I'll have to see what I can do. Has anyone lost my parent while in university? What was your expjerence like? When did you go back to classes? Was the school able to help and how?