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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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About mia

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  • Angel Date
    December 1 2016


  • Occupation
    stay home
  • Interests
    crimes storys
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  1. Reader how do you deal with your loss?how do you mange your pain?how do you confront the day? How can I stop crying? I'm from Italy I have no family here. My husband family is not that affectionate. My children are adults they don't show much emotion because they are worried that if I see them greave it will trigger my sadness and desperation. You can tell me a little about your loss i to I'm a good listener. Ty so much for your time. Sincerely. Ma.
  2. Reader thanks so much for listen. I'm sorry for your loss too.today as every day I survive im in auto mode can't leave the bedroom. I don't want to face the world that seems all so happy for what?can't they see my pain sorrow desperation. Im so alone can't stop crying .they tell me that God wanted him so he called.call me selfish I want him here.and continue our journey like we plant instead he decide to go. God give me the strength the courage to go on with out him.
  3. I miss you so much.why did you decided to go?.what about me?.you have been selfish. Im left picking up the pieces. No Moore good night kiss. No more holding hands. No more whisper i love you. No more anything the kids are divested I hope you have found peace. I see you in my dream's i feel you all around me I ear you when the wind blows. You touch me in my sleep. I could fill an ocean with all of the tears I poured out of my eyes and right there and there i feel as im drowning. Why why love I can't bare the though one more day with out you miss you is an understatement. What we had for 34 years is not going away in few months year's. You are a permanent fixture in my life. Ti amo amore mio
  4. Loss of a spouse to suicide

    Beccalou I can relate too your anguish im going true it my self.my husband passed away December 1 2016 after his death I had so many questions like what happened. This went on for 12 week's when the result. arrived: Suicide imagine my stupor .now I have more questions more pain more tears .I feel so empty I don't care about tomorrow I have been in pajamas since.been out 4 times .I dont want to see any one's. Know that I found this site that makes me feel I can say any thing.the trick is just let it out dont hang on to your feelings .sorry for your loss.God bless.Mia
  5. Thank you. Im drowning in my own tiers. That moment when I fund him keeps on replying in my head. You know we were teenager when we meet and married. We knew each other for a total of 34 years. So many odds agents us but it worked till his last breath I loved him. Im so empty I have a hole in my heart. In the past few weeks I have been very angry is this normal?. I also feel abandoned because we promess to be together till the and. I have left my entire family friends for him back in Europe and now he decided to live me?so many questions left unanswered so many unspoken words . why why why get the urge to be with him but my 2 children's stop me from any negatives though im on medication. for this reason.ty for listening. God bless
  6. December 1 2016 the worse day of my life.we had been married for 32 year's I was 18 when we first met im Italian he a American sailor love at first sight. I decide than that I wanted to spent the rest of my life with him.we dated for 2 year's and off i went to the united states. I left everything I ever knew for my love the heart was taken by him no regrets. 32 years later and 2 wonderful children on November 24 he was told by his physician that he had a walking pnomia (don't know if spelled right) he gave him antibiotics plus his regular meds .for day's he just wanted to sleep. I let him his 52 he is a big boy if he wants to sleep let him on December 1 4days after the physician visit I was checking on him it was 4:06 pm I tried to be quiet i touched his feet's they were cold so I very gently put Sox on his feet's. I went in to the bedroom he was napping on the couch before napping he asked :please let me sleep im so tired. Sure I honored his wish I must dose off for bit when I was wakened by a glass creaking I went to investigate a candle in the bathroom was broken in Alf. I Grabbed a razor blade to scrape the wax off the cabinet and floor.from far I watcht my husband sleeping I decide to put a small blanket on him.as I did that I kissed him on his forehead it was cold I shuck his shoulder and say wake up wake up.I called my daughter saying your dad is out cold life.wont wake up Call 911 she said. Right they will know what to do after all he did have a heart attack last year. What I know now is that when police ambulance arrived the only recollection I have is the sound of my daughter hitting the ground my son. Helping me down the stairs a nurse saying to me :your going to shock. I dint actually ear it I read her lips every thing went silence .After all of this now I had the task of waiting for his death certificate. 12 week's. Suicide. .........what? how? were ?no note? When? Is this going to prolong my nightmare? Did I miss something? Was i the cause? What about our plans? Dreams? What would I tell our kid's? How about growing old together? I can't stop crying or thinking of that day.wen I put Sox on him he was already gone and as an idiot called my daughter instead of 911. I can't explain it the only sure think that I know is that im left with allot of questions. I will always love you my first my last my everything. XOXOXO