Not sure if I'm doing this right, but I have read a lot of the posting here and I see that I'm not alone. I loss my youngest son on Christmas morning at the tender age of 23, unexceptly. Cause of death is still pending. It's so hard why him and not me!! He such a great kid with his whole future ahead of him! He was so happy to finishes this semester and was looking forward to his new job working with union to make work conditions better. He had been working nights for the past 5 years and this would of been his first "day job". Not sure if or how to do this! It was always just the 3 of us, me and my 2 sons! Now, he gone! His birthday is this Sunday and I don't know what to do!! I don't want to be here anymore!! It hurts so much!!