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  1. Hello ! I just read your post and I'm sending my condolences regarding the recent passing of your father . I can't imagine the pain you are enduring and trying to finish schooling to get your degree . My mother passed away almost 2 yrs ago from a long illness . It does take time for the shock and pain to lessen . As you said , the process is long and hard . You asked what others have done to cope with the change or loss ? Something that has helped me tremendously is a brochure that I have provided a link for . It offers practical advice and words of wisdom . We offer this same brochure to persons in our local communities and to the funeral industry . The brochure helps to explain how we can deal with grief and also to provide a hope for the future . I also provided a link to a magazine especially designed for depressed young ones . Maybe there will be something contained in it to help ease the sadness . I am able to be contacted thru this website if you have questions or just need someone to talk with . I can also be contacted on Instagram if that is easier . My handle is :" fakoonce " . I've been making a special effort to connect with teens and young adults who need comfort . Please consider this an open invitation . Best Wishes ! Frances Teen Depression When Someone You Love Dies
  2. I just want to offer some free reading material that we provide to individuals in our community on how to cope with the death of our loved ones and teen depression . There is no cost or obligation involved . Please accept my deepest condolences ...
  3. Chris - I am so sorry for the loss of your brother , but also the feelings of helplessness you feel because of the way your family life was at such tender ages . I'm no counselor , but I have been offering free reading material to persons experiencing grief . There is no cost or obligation involved . If you think that this material can help you or you would like more information , please feel free to contact me . I have been offering comforting Scriptures as well - not being pushy , just letting you know . My Deepest Condolences , Frances
  4. Amy - I just came across your post about offering help to others with anxiety . I wondered how that is going ? I have something that you can pass along to others . There is no cost or obligation for these materials . I think what you set out to do was very compassionate and loving . I also wanted to offer my support if you would personally like someone to talk with . Sincerely, Frances
  5. I know it's been several months since these were posted , but I just wanted to offer this free reading material that we provide to persons in our community who are mourning the death of a loved one . There is no obligation or cost involved . Please, feel free to reply . Hopefully I can connect with you and have a one on one conversation at a time that is best for you . Sincerely, Frances
  6. Dear ELiz, I am sorry you are feeling overwhelmed by guilt concerning your mother's passing and whether you could have spent more time with her . It is a difficult thing when we look back and see missed opportunities to be with loved ones . Perhaps you feel the way King David of Israel felt at Psalms 31:9,10 which says , " Show me favor , O Jehovah for I am in distress. Anguish has made my eyes weak , my whole body as well . My life is consumed with grief and my years with groaning . My strength is waning because of my error ; my bones grow weak . " I also had weekly calls with my mother and eventually she lived with us at the onset of her demetia. There are times I thought she was being difficult on purpose . I didn't know it was her demetia and I would be frustrated . It is very hard for me to excuse my poor behavior but at the same time, I have to give myself some special consideration . As wives, mothers, and caregivers, we are usually the last ones to be cared for . It is easy to become exhausted and the need to recharge is so vital . I'm sure your mother appreciated all you did for her and she would have wanted you to enjoy having an outing with friends or even some time to yourself . I know for me , I would beg to have another day with my mom , even one of her worst days , just to be in her company . The best way I know how to cope with the guilt is by praying for stability and to reassure myself that my mother would not have blamed me for caring for myself and my immediate family . May you have peace -both of mind and heart Sincerely, Frances
  7. Dear Augustgirl , I am so sorry about the passing of your dearly beloved father . My father died also , suddenly from what we learned was congestive heart failure . Even though it was many years ago , I miss him so much ! My mother died in 2015 and I am still mourning her death . The reason I decided to comment here is because you mentioned some things that I also agree with , in fact , it is even in agreement with the Bible . You mentioned that you feel a person who has died basically returned to the dust of the ground or ashes . The result of disobedience to God was foretold at Genesis 3:19 , " ... until you return to the ground , for out of it you were taken . For dust you are and to dust you will return . " Because Adam disobeyed God , he became sinful and passed on sin to his offspring . When Adam eventually died , it was just as God said . No part of Adam separated, no half returned to dust and the other part in another form . When humans die , they cease to exist , just as you said . The reason I feel confident in that thought is because of what is stated at Ecclesiastes 9:5,6 which states , " For the living know that they will die , but the dead know nothing at all , nor do they have any more reward, because all memory is forgotten . Also , their love and their hate and their jealousy have already perished, and they no longer have any share in what is done under the sun. " Did you know that Jesus himself said that death was like a deep sleep ? As we know , a person can be awakened from sleep , right ? Why did Jesus compare death to sleep ? If you would care to find out where that reference is , I'd be delighted to share it with you . Again, I am sincerely sorry for your loss . I hope you are comforted and have peace of mind and heart . Frances
  8. Dear Tsa , I feel so badly for you as I understand those guilty feelings regarding my mother . She had been developing demetia and I cared for her at my home . It's hard when you aren't sure if they are actually aware of what is taking place around them . Since her passing , I have questioned just about everything I have done in providing her care . Was it enough ? Did I make the right decisions? Was she suffering and I didn't see the signs of it ? I know it is very hard to see a loved one in a hospital bed too , especially because we are helpless in eliminating their pain and distress . I always hoped my mom would recover enough so I could have her with me longer , but she was so weak . I feel guilty and selfish . What I do know is that sometimes patients "react" to various things and to the observer it is something else . For example , my mom was clinging to the rails of her bed and pulling the sheets . I thought she was trying to get out of the hospital bed , but the hospice nurses said that is a sign of distress . They could tell by the look on her face that she was in pain - but I didn't recognize that . Naturally, I wanted to believe that my mom knew who we were - but she had several strokes and her mental faculties were beyond repair . What has helped me cope with the intense sadness of losing my mom is comforting Scriptures. Do you know that the Bible promises that our loved ones can be restored to life on earth in perfect health ? Not only that, but the Bible says that the righteous will live on a cleansed earth . This hope has been a buoy for me during my sad days . If you would care to know which Scriptures I'm talking about , feel free to contact me thru this website . There are no obligations involved . It is just something I do to help others and ease my own pain . Best Wishes and Regards to you ! Frances
  9. This sounds very interesting ! I just don't think my daughter would participate as it is such a sensitive subject . I hope you are successful in your research ! Frances
  10. Dear JMEagle , I just wanted to send a message that I am so sorry for the loss of your father . My dad died when I was in my early teens from congestive heart failure while in his early 50's also . Several years later my mom dated in order to find someone to help her raise us 4 kids . Needless to say , it didn't turn out to be in our best interests although my mom really did try to find a suitable husband. I miss my dad terribly . You mentioned nightmares. I too use to dream about my dad still being alive and I didn't know it . I would dream that he had been alive this whole time and I never went to see him . I didn't cry much about my dad's passing , probably because I thought I should be " grown up " and be strong for my family . That was a huge mistake ! Holding in emotions is physically damaging to a person . I have developed fibromyalgia, which can be a result of stressful situations . I have high blood pressure too . I never suspected my health would be in jeopardy like it is now from " keeping a stiff upper lip " . I only mention this so you take the time to grieve and allow your body and mind the opportunity to go thru the mourning process at your own pace . I don't know if any of my personal situation will help or not . Something that that has been a great aid and comfort for me is some Scriptures that talks about sadness and difficult circumstances . You probably have a religious affiliation, but rest assured , I'm not trying to make you change your viewpoint . Perhaps you feel the same as this Bible writer who said , " I have grown weary with my sighing ; all night long I soak my bed with tears ; I flood my couch with weeping ." ( Psalms 6:6 ) Maybe these verses can be compared to your feelings , " O Jehovah , hear my prayer ; let my cry for help reach you . Do not hide your face from me in my time of distress. Incline your ear to me ; do answer me quickly when I call . " ( Psalms 102: 1,2 ) Since your father's death , do you feel that God doesn't even care , like there is no point in turning to him for comfort ? I've talked to persons that feel that way and certainly , the writer of these particular verses may have feel that way too. But notice this last verse at Psalms 102:17 , " He will pay attention to the prayer of the destitute; he will not despise their prayer ." I just so happen to have some free reading material on how to cope with the death of a loved one and on teenage depression . I volunteer my time to send such materials to person's at not cost to them or obligation . This same material can be downloaded . If you would like to have access to such materials , you may contact me thru this website . I sincerely hope you have found some comfort and I pray you have peace of mind and heart . Best Wishes ! Frances
  11. Dear Whit B. , I completely understand and appreciate your honesty . I hope you find the answers you are seeking and find comfort . Certainly , losing a loved one in dead is very difficult and it will take time to ease the pain . Even without religion being involved , if you ever just need someone to talk to and get some relieve from your sorrow - you can always contact me thru this website . May you have a restful evening and peace of mind and heart . Frances
  12. Dear Whit B , I am sorry to hear of the recent passing of your dearly beloved mother . I too lost my mother from a long illness which not only destroyed her physical health but also her mental faculties . I just want you to know that it was never God's will for humans to die in the first place . God also does not take delight in the death of persons , good or bad . He does not need more angels in heaven - therefore he doesn't not cause the death of our loved ones in order to have additional angels . This is a brochure we provide to persons such as yourself . This can be downloaded or I am more than happy to send a personal copy to an address . There is no cost or obligation . In this brochure , you will find out why mankind suffers and dies . It also has insight into grieving and how to gain comfort from the Bible . I am always willing to have a personal , one on one conversation with you . Please accept my sincere condolences , Frances