Francine

Members
  • Content count

    188
  • Joined

  • Last visited

1 Follower

About Francine

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Loss Type
    Husband
  • Angel Date
    12/6/2016

Converted

  • Occupation
    Retired Educational Supervisor
  • Interests
    Singing, reading, exercising
  • Last Name
    Stewart
  • First Name
    Francine
  • Zip
    60621
  • Country
    USA
  • About Me
    Very Family oriented

Recent Profile Visitors

533 profile views
  1. Goob52 Oh my God, I'm so sorry for you. You must be devastated. Your wife must have been hurting so, going through an imaginable circumstance. You cannot go through something like this and not come out the other end as a changed person. I haven't finished grieving and I don't know how all of this is going to change me. I didn't know how to live with this pain and I certainly didn't know how to move on from it. The reality is that you will grieve forever, You will not get over the loss of your wife; you will learn to live with it. You will eventually heal (or so they say), and rebuilt yourself around the loss you suffered but you will never be the same, nor should you be nor would you even want to be. Death in itself is a tragic affair, even when it is long anticipated; but when it is unexpected, without warning, it's a living hell that is even harder to accept. Sometimes people who die from suicide don't want to end their life, they just want to end their pain. Suicide doesn't kill people, sadness kills them. Suicide doesn't take away the pain, it gives it to someone else. Suicide doesn't end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better. Whenever you do not understand what's happening in your life, ask the Ultimate Comforter to bring you through it. God's plans for your future are far greater than your fears. Gods way is better than your way; HIS plan is bigger than your plan; HIS dream for your life is more rewarding, more fulfilling better than you've every dreamed of. Stay open and let God do it HIS way. I pray that God will bless you and give you the strength to get through this very difficult time. Stay Strong. Know that we on this website is always here when you need visit.
  2. Mia, I'm sorry for your loss and your shock in finding out the nature of your husband's loss. It's unfortunate you were left with all sort of questions in your mind and you feel hurt and betrayed. You will never truly get 'over' a suicide loss, You get through it, day by day, sometimes, moment by moment. I hope you find it your heart to forgive him, not because he deserves forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. Goodbyes hurt the most when the story was not finished. Don't try to understand everything; sometimes it is not meant to be understood, just accepted. It is so painful to say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go, but it's more painful to ask someone to stay when they want to leave. People who die by suicide done want to end their lives, they want to end their pain. Proverbs 3:5-6 states, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, knowledge him, and he will make your path straight".. May God bless and keep you safe during this difficult time and may you find the strength needed to get you through this.
  3. Babypeanut, I'm sorry for your loss and and feel your pain. Addiction is a family disease.. One person may use, but the entire family will suffer. I think we should learn to regard people less in the light of what they do and more in the light of what they suffer. Alcoholism is an addiction that kills the pain; the joy, the hope, the body, the brain, and finally the soul. It is the only prison where the locks are on the inside. Before you can break out prison, you must realize you're are locked up. You did that and can be proud of yourself. I congratulate you on your sobriety. Know there is no way you can ever fully express the pain of losing a loved one. There is no way you can make others understand the pain you have endured. All you can do is deal with things the best you can and hope that those who are close to you, your friends and family will care enough to support you through the toughest time in your life, for it is during these dark times in your life that the ones who truly care for you will step up to the mark. God Bless and keep you, keep all of us safe.
  4. Cambry, I wish I had words to lighten your agony, but sometimes words are just not enough. I know to vividly the pain you are going through. I've been there and have not left. Losing a love one is the most overwhelming and heartbreaking pain anyone can ever have to endure. It's alright to cry, it's alright to hurt and it's alright to be confused. It is devastating when our loved one pass away, too soon and without reason; a part of you dies as well. It is so evident how much you love and miss him; try to remember the love the two of you shared, not the loss. Your loss is painful beyond words and it is so difficult, you don't see yourself making it through, and often times, you feel like you don't want to. Your heart is broken and your world just fell apart, I get it, you're going through a living hell and it seems you're sinking more and more into the flames. Everything is different now; you're upset and shattered, the world is cruel and nothing or no one seems to matter. You feel there's got to be a reason and it is hard to understand why a loving God would take your love away without warning and so unexpectedly. Your grief will never end, but it will changed. It is a passage, not a place to stay. It is not a sign of weakness or a lack of faith, but the price of love. When you lose someone you can't live without, your heart is badly broken and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss. But this is the good news; they love forever in your broken heart that doesn't seal back up. And you come through. It's like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly - when the weather gets cold it still hurts, but you learn to dance with a limp. It is said that 'time heals all wounds'. I disagree, the wounds remain. In time, the mind protecting its insanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessons, but it is never gone. You can never bring him back, but you can live with gratitude for the love you had and the life you shared. Treasure and recognized the memories you shared; some of which made you laugh and others that made you cry. In either case, they are a lasting part of the relationship you and your Norm shared. Our greatest comfort is knowing that God is in control and that you're never alone. God is with you holding you, comforting you, and most of all, loving you no matter what. Stay encouraged and take comfort in knowing that God has the final word. Nothing can stop God's plan for your life; His plan is bigger than your past. HE holds the key for every problem, a light for every shadow, a plan for every tomorrow and a joy for every sorrow. For God's word is truth no matter what. Matthew 5:4 states, "Blesses are those who morn, for they shall be comforted". In Revelations 21:4, it states, "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have. You are a child of the Most High -You don't know your own strength. I'm sorry you're on this website, but know that there are wonderful people who are not afraid to share their stories and offer you comfort, encouragement and support. Keep faith in God and he shall pour his love and care on you.
  5. KMB I'm so sorry. I don't believe you know your own strength. You've been through hell and back, and yet, you still survive. If I were to name a gem for you, it would be a diamond - nothing breaks you. Strong women don't declare they can carry all the burdens life has to offer them; they just quietly do it and survive. We all will get through this somehow, someday. We just need to hold on to God's love; trust God's word, and believe in God's strength. God bless and keep you safe.
  6. Herc, Sometimes storms are sent by God to remind us that we are not in total control of our lives. We need Him to be the Captain on our life's stormy sea. In order to see the sunshine again, we must sometimes bow our head, say a prayer and weather the storm. When the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through; how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure whether the storm is really over. One thing for certain, when you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person you where when you walked in it; and that's what the storm is all about - getting through it in one piece. Every storm runs out of rain, just like every dark night turns into day and every heartache will fade. It is in these storms God does his finest work, for it is in the storms, that God has our keenest attention. He is healing, He is cleansing. He is protecting. He is Loving, He is delivering. 1 Peter 5:10 states, "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast." My prayer is that you don't allow the shadows of yesterday spoil your sunshine of tomorrow. God Bless and keep you, keep all of us, safe.
  7. KMB I feel you. Just last night, I hit rock bottom again and was in just a bad way. Couldn't sleep and couldn't stop crying. Didn't want to wake up the family but needed someone to listen; so I prayed, prayed, and prayed some more. God listened to me and eventually, I guess, I fell asleep. I guess I said all that to say, God knows and understands everything. HE works in us to grow us into what HE wants us to be. I know it's hard, but know there is no storm that God won't carry us through. No bridge that God won't help us cross. No battle that God won't help us win. No heartache that God won't help us let go of. HE is SO much bigger than anything we will ever face. We all must learn to leave everything in his hands knowing confidently that HE will take care of us all. It's tough, but that's where faith come into play. Faith is not believing that God can, but knowing that God will. HE treasures us and anticipates our departure from this earth to our heavenly home where we will be with HIM, our loved ones and the angels. At the end of the day, try to hold on to hope and strength; Hope that it will get better, and strength to hold on until it does and God will give us both. Pain is real, but so is hope. God knows how long you waited, every second will be worth it in the end. I truly believe that the pain can't compare to the joy that is coming. God timing is perfect. You know you're in my prayers. You may not be aware, but you are just a strong individual - it is so evident in your posting. Continue to be strong and God Bless you, God Bless us all!
  8. fzald, I agree; grief is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity - a price we pay for love - and the only cure for grief is grieving. I think, no I know, this earth was never meant to be our home. It was just a way station, if you will, on our journey. I truly believe we were put here to learn lessons. Just like our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, we too must learn the lessons of this world and life has a funny way of teaching us. Sadness so we know how to truly understand happiness; Chaos in our lives so that we may appreciate the peaceful times; and pain from a loved one lost so that we truly understand love. Understanding 'Love' is understanding God, after all God is "LOVE". God Bless and keep you, keep all of us, safe.
  9. Thanks Herc, That's the beauty of this website. We can have different beliefs and still be encouraging and uplifting to one another. We are all on this journey together and if we can give just one person a little comfort, than it's worth it. God Bless and keep you, keep us all, safe.
  10. Herc, Your thread was so heart filled, strong and loving. I too would choose and I'm glad you chose option #4 - I think it is the best one and one I think your Christine would approve as well. It is so apparent know how much you loved her, and she, you. Those we love remain with us, for love itself lives on. She must have been an extraordinary women - no less than an angel on earth. I know that God makes no mistakes, there are no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from. When you are hurting, look in your heart, and you will realize that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. Even death cannot part away the two of you. What hurts you today will make you stronger tomorrow. I've come to learn that death is a bridge that takes us towards eternal life - a life of happiness and peace. It is merely a temporary parting of two loved ones; until you are reunited forever in heaven. Believe me, the heavens are rejoicing that an angel, your Christine, has returned home. Nothing will ever take away the love your heart holds for her, dear fond memories linger every day, remembrance keep them near. Heartbreak is real and hurtful especially after a loss of someone so dear. I believe having a broken heart gives us strength, empathy, understanding, and compassion into our lives and ourselves. As the saying goes, "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". To love and be loved is the greatest gift of all; after all, Jesus did it for us all. My prayer for you is that each day you always have Sunshine to keep you warm, Moonlight to guide your night; An angel (your Christine) to watch over you; Laughter to make you happy; Good friends to support you and Faith your prayers will be heard. God Bless and keep you, all of us, safe.
  11. I am so sorry for you and feel your pain. I lost the love of my life on December 6, 2016 and like you, was lost, didn't know what to do, didn't believe it was real, in a daze. It is so difficult when one knows their loved one is going to make their transition, but for it to happen suddenly is unimaginable and unreal. It is apparent that with the little time you shared, you loved a lifetime. I also thought my husband and I would spend the rest of our lives together - he got his wish - He spent the rest of his life with me loving me until the end. Damn, I was so proud to be his wife and so grateful to be allowed to share my love with this man for nearly 45 years. It gives me comfort, and I hope for you as well, in just knowing that our loved ones have entered into the kingdom of God and they posses a joy and peace that is unattainable on this earth. They are in everlasting and total happiness with the angles. That's got to be amazing. I pray that God will enlighten what's dark in you; strength what's weak in you; mend what's broken in you; bind what's bruised in you; heal what's sick in you; and lastly, revive whatever peace and love has died in you. Through all this pain and darkness, know there is a healing light that somehow will shine through. At your lowest, know God is your hope; at your weakest, God is your strength, at your saddest, God is your comforter. Whatever you are going through and wonder where God is, know that he is there, remember the teacher is always quiet during a test. I hope you continue to post. There are a lot of amazing people here who will not only share story, but are able to give you the comfort and support you need. God Bless and keep you, keep all of us safe.
  12. I agree, not wanting to lose our grief, but grief is like an ocean; sometimes the water is calm and other times, it is overwhelming. We just need to make sure we know how to swim. Some would say that 33 years is a long time, but no amount of time is ever enough. It is evident that she was so special to you and how much you loved her and I bet there's not a day that goes by, at some point, that you don't think of her. When you do, try to remember the love the two of your shared and not the loss. Death is just a change of worlds; a new beginning for our loved ones, and one we too must face. I like to think that our loved ones are greeted by the family and friends who have passed on before them. It is an amazing transition to a new world, called Heaven. Know that she's in the new world, free from pain, suffering and death. If the truth be told, she crying and mourning for you still in this world. I hope you find comfort in knowing she went home to the Lord and there is no other place you would want her to be. God Bless and keep you, keep us all, safe.
  13. His Monkey, You said it all. I think we all must bear our cross; if we don't bear a cross, we can't wear a crown. I loved my husband with all my heart when he as here and will love him with all my heart now that he's not. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but instead he spent the rest of his life with me. I am so proud of being his wife and the love we shared and I know he was proud of being my husband; I thank God for allowing us nearly 45 years together. The hardest part was not losing him, but learning to live without him. I try not to think alone the lines that he died, but that he lived, and gave my life meaning, and memories to beautiful to forget. I will remember my husband by carrying on his wishes, aspirations, dreams, and heart consciousness . He will forever be in my mind, heart, spirit and inspirational actions. I know what you mean when you talked about being lucky, - Lucky and Blessed! I thank God for keeping us together, when we're falling apart. I pray that when you are tired, HE gives you the strength to go on; when discouraged, HE gives you the hope; and when you are afraid, HE gives you peace. God Bless us All!
  14. Herc, I'm glad for you and something we all need to do. That is a form of healing and we all are worth it.. I think it comes when we choose to walk away from the darkness and move towards a bright light. So take that day for both of you and yes, she will be with you. God Bless and keep you safe.
  15. Ms. Plummer Just thinking of you today on your anniversary. I know its bitter sweet and I hope you get through it in one piece. I ran across the poem below and thought You might enjoy it. God Bless and keep you safe.