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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Nads

Members
  • Content count

    116
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About Nads

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Loss Type
    Husband
  • Angel Date
    19/10/2016
  1. Want to share my experience.

    KayC...my prayers are with you. Take care.
  2. Want to share my experience.

    HHFaith, I'm so sorry you're having a bad day. I myself find Sundays to be the hardest, maybe because it was the one day where we spent the entire day together doing whatever we felt like. For me, being busy at work helps. I'm sure it help you as well. At first I had to force myself to focus but it got better. It's still very hard though but I'm handling it all better. The option to move to L.A. can be one worth considering as you will be closer to your daughter and have that source of comfort and support and a change of environment can be healthy sometimes. I know God will guide you to make the best decision for yourself. Just take it one moment at a time and you will get through those excruciating times. Post here whenever you feel especially when you're not so good. We are all here for one another....good and bad. My prayers are with you.
  3. Want to share my experience.

    Andy...hugs to you. I'm so sorry. Wish I could help somehow. At three months I felt exactly how you're feeling right now. It's has gotten a bit easier now though as I am about five and a half months in. I still have my grief waves and I still cry but I'm here still. You are stronger than you know and you are there for your daughter regardless of how you may be feeling. Hope you have a better day today. My prayers are with you. Love to you.
  4. Want to share my experience.

    KayC, Andy is right..you are an inspiration for most of us here. Bless you for that. I've been really occupied for the last week or so and so I haven't been able to come here as much as I would like. I have a lot going on. My uncle is back in the hospital so I have been trying to visit as much as I can. I believe he is on his last now. It's so sad seeing him like this. He is barely responsive now. It seems I'm surrounded by death a lot lately. On Saturday my cousin dropped by for a short visit. He brought a friend with him. Nice guy..really pleasant. It was the first time I met him. I learnt today from my cousin that that nice guy took his own life last night. I was shocked. I mean even though I barely knew him, he was here at my house just a few days ago. It's all just so much. I am at a loss for words. This life is so strange. Tonight i was driving home when I realized that something wasn't right with my car. I pulled aside only to discover that I had a flat tyre. My first thought was to call Stan. He was always the one to handle all our car issues. I felt so very sad. I am really no good at changing a tyre although I know the basics of it. I called my brother who was able to help me out. It made me realize how alone I am, how alone I feel. I'm lucky to have my family around but they all have their own lives. I hate to be an imposition. Is my life always going to be such a sad mess? I feel it might as I feel I have no purpose here. Prayers to all my dear friends here. Much love.
  5. Want to share my experience.

    new133, I myself haven't received any significant signs but I keep hoping that one day I will. I dreamt him four times in five months since his passing. I would like to think that this was him reaching out to me but I still can't be sure. I know you said you've never had faith in anything. That's ok. I have faith that you will make it through even though every day will be a struggle. Peace and love to you.
  6. Want to share my experience.

    Today I took a long drive to where Stan's ashes was scattered. My brother went along with me. It was so sad but I felt I wanted to go there as today marked five months since his passing. I did manage to have some laughs with my brother though. He has been a great support through all this. Now I'm back home and I feel so lost and alone. I just miss him so much. I miss our life together. I miss everything. I'm exhausted from the drive so hopefully I get some rest. My prayers are with you all. God bless us.
  7. Want to share my experience.

    Andy, I pray that you woke up this morning to a less solemn mood but I know exactly what you're talking about. I find myself just breaking into spontaneous tears these days. It's almost like I can't control my grieving. Andy, you're a great dad and you are doing the best that you can do at the moment. Just take it one step at a time. You are doing a fine job. Today marks five months since Stan's passing. I woke up this feeling really sad but I intend to go on a long drive so I won't have to be home. It's worse if I just sit around all day. Sunday was our day where we would just relax or do whatever we wanted. I still can't believe it's been five months since I last touched him, kissed him, told him i love him. Five months in this world without him. What a sad life I lead now. No purpose. My prayers are with you all.
  8. Want to share my experience.

    HHFaith, thanks for sharing that pic. It does bring a sense of serenity. Makes one kind of wish they were there. I do hope your visit to your daughter brings you comfort. My prayers are with you. God bless.
  9. Want to share my experience.

    KMB, my prayers are with you tonight. I know you must be having a hard time. Cry as much as you want. I too don't look forward to weekends especially Friday nights as we almost always did something like go to dinner or meet up with friends. Now all I do is stay home. I don't even want to get out. If I was closer to you..we could have gotten together on Friday nights and feel sad together. My uncle who is battling cancer was taken to the hospital this afternoon. I went to visit him after work. He looked so weak and frail. It was so sad seeing him like that. I just wish for him no pain and peace. God bless you. Hope you sleep well
  10. Want to share my experience.

    KMB, thanks again for your comfort and support. On Sunday will be five months and I am not doing too well. Last night I just cried so much. I'm ok sometimes and then I'm not. I had dinner with my good friend and it was nice but I missed Stan so much. When I got home I had a cry fest. I try not to talk about him all the time when I am out because I don't want to drain anyone but sometimes he is all I want to talk about. Guess only those who have been there can truly understand. That's why I find so much solace here. I do hope you are doing well. My prayers are with you.
  11. Want to share my experience.

    Andy, as hard as it may be you will make it through the visitation. My prayers are with you.
  12. Want to share my experience.

    Andy, you're right. This is a bad season. I too find that there are a lot of passings happening and I find it happens to persons who will still be considered young to pass. Quite unusual...or is it? Maybe we never paid much attention before? Prayers to you.
  13. Want to share my experience.

    Just got back from the funeral I had to attend. When I got there I sat in the car for a while gathering up some courage to go in. Eventually I did. As I entered I could feel my anxiety growing. I sat and began taking some deep breaths. I began reading the funeral program and under "friend of" was stan and my names. When I saw that, more so Stan's name, tears began to flow. I was able to gather myself and make it through the service. I paid my respects and offered condolences and left without too much unnecessary interaction. It was tough and sad and brought back so many memories of Stan's funeral. I looked at the widow and thought that was me just five months ago. I hope I can help her in some way through her grieving. I pray for her and all of us here.
  14. KayC, Sunday will make it five months since Stan passed. It's been really hard but I am coping better. I try to keep busy as much as I can and it helps. I'm still sad most of the time and miss him all the time. I know we will grieve forever for our loved ones until we are with them again. KayC you are real source of support and inspiration for us here on this forum. Thank you for being here. My anxiety is setting in as I know that I am attending the funeral in a few hours. Just typing this has my stomach in knots. I know I will get through it but I can't help but feel this way. Will let you know how it goes. God bless you my friend
  15. I didn't have enough time with you

    Lilzig1121, I'm so sorry for your loss. You have found a forum where everyone here knows what you are going through and are here for you. Your love was true and intense. The length of time you loved him has nothing to do with how much you loved him. I believe our love isn't equated with the length of time we loved them but just how true and passionately we loved. I'm sure he loved you just as much as you did him. I'm sorry you don't have a lot of support where you are right now but know that you can always come here. This forum has become a lifeline to many of us here. There are some here who have lost their loved ones who are in your age group. You may find more comfort in them but we are all in this together. It's now going on five months since I lost my husband. It's still a struggle but somehow I manage to make it through each day. That's all you can do for now...take it one moment at a time. It's unfortunate that his family doesn't include you as before but it happens. I was married and now I can see his family slowly drifting away from me. At the beginning we were all there for one another but I guess since our one connection is gone it is hard to maintain that relationship. I have started accepting this along with many other changes that are happening. You guys were such a beautiful couple and I can see how much love there was. You will always have that. My prayers are with you.
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