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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Whit B

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    November 21, 2016
  1. Dear rlow, I am so sorry for your loss. Even knowing briefly that my mom was ill, the shock of her passing is horrible and so painful. I had no idea that this would happen, and it's hard. I think many of us here struggle with whys and what ifs. I hope you find answers too, but sometimes answers seem insufficient in dealing with such a profound loss. I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this. Please know that people here can relate to the loss of someone dear. This is so fresh, and surely so painful for you and your mom. Take things one day at a time. Things won't be the same, but you will eventually start to feel more like yourself again. Sending a prayer for your comfort and peace. Please take good care of yourself and keep expressing your feelings.
  2. Dear Lena765, I am so sorry you are going through this, it's very hard and I can only imagine how you feel being in college going through this. I miss my mom so much too and I will continue to miss her, it's so very painful. Please know there are people here to support you. Stay in touch with your siblings and grandparents, as they deal with their own pain. Confide in those around you too, so they can help you to keep going and continue in school. Please also seek out a school counselor, your school has resources to help you through this so you can talk to someone about your feelings and also talk to someone about your education. Look for that support and know that even though it doesn't feel like it now, you have a promising and good future ahead. Try to get into a routine--exercise, go for walks, eat well, study, do your best. Do the next right thing, no matter how small--even if it's getting up and getting dressed. Do the next right thing, keep doing that. You can do this one day at a time, one moment at a time. It can be overwhelming to think beyond the day sometimes in grief, focus on the day and the moment. People do care and as life goes on you will meet more people who care. Your mom will always be in your heart, remember what she has taught you, how she loves you, how she would want you to be okay, write down your memories of her, and each day look for ways to honor your mom. You will get through this. It hurts so much, but you will get through this. We're all pulling for you, Lena. Sending you prayers for comfort and strength. Please take good care. Remember one day at a time, one moment at a time. Best to you.
  3. Just found out

    Dear Beautious1987, I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. I can imagine how painful and frightening it is. You are entitled to how you feel. It's your mom, of course you want your mom for as long as possible. Know that this is also extremely hard for your mom. Please cherish each day, each moment with your mom. Be with her, hug her, love her. Tell her how much you love her and what she means to you. This must be extremely difficult for you but I hope you find needed support here. Please take care of yourself. Sending you prayers.
  4. I lost my mom now I'm lost

    I am so sorry for your loss. I know you're in a great deal of pain. Many here will be able to relate to you. My mom was my dearest friend and I lost her about a year ago. It hit me tremendously hard, with a pain I had never before felt. I was up and down for quite a while, but mostly devastated and heartbroken. I'm still devastated and heartbroken, but a year into it I think I carry it differently. Early on, I was told to take it one day at a time, and it was sometimes one moment at a time. Soon after losing my mom, I found this forum and I found a grief group. I needed to know that people have experienced this, or something similar, and are getting through it. I'm glad you wrote to get some support. Please consider seeking individual and/ or group counseling to express your emotions in a healthy way and for the support. There is help out there. Please do that for yourself. It's all very overwhelming and grief is such an uncomfortable and difficult experience. The grief group gave me a place to get the support and coping mechanisms I needed, during the most painful time of my life. If you're in the US, Grief Share at www.griefshare.org has information and grief groups. Please take things one day at a time. Do the next right thing, no matter how small. Seek the support you need. And keep going. I pray your strength and comfort.
  5. Loss of my precious mother

    Hi there Reader, it's good to see you on here too. Your posts are so sincere and encouraging. They really help me. I read more than I post, and your posts are comforting. I am so sorry about the loss of your grandmother. That's hard to lose someone so significant to you and so close to the anniversary of the loss of your father. It must have been so difficult for you and you should take the time to process each loss. As much time as you need. Sending you prayers. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself and maintaining a routine. I hope it helps to normalize things a bit, as normal as things can be. I also hope you're getting the support you need, because you give so much to others here. My mom's anniversary was very tough, and it's all still hard to believe even a year later. I think such a tremendous loss is just so difficult to process. And, I just really miss my mom. I'm more okay than I was at the beginning but it's painful. I think maybe the heartbreak remains, and we change. The pain is there, and yet we're able to continue. I know you can relate with the loss of your dear father. I too long for the way things were, and long for my mom. That will just be. I'll continue to long for my mom, and also continue. For me, it's by the Lord's grace. Thinking of you and praying for your comfort and strength. Continue, one day at a time. Best, -Whit B
  6. Loss of my precious mother

    Dear Sadandlost, Thank you for taking the time to reply. I saw your message on the (worst) anniversary and I really appreciated it. It was a tough day, but every kindness helps. Thank you.
  7. I lost my mom 3 months ago..

    Dear Melissa, I'm so sorry you're going through this. The prior responses are right. We're all here because we hurt and I guess because we need to be heard. While our experiences may differ, know that many can relate to the pain you feel. I found this site soon after I unexpectedly lost my amazing mom, my very best friend. She was my absolute heart. It was unexpected, heartbreaking and so shocking. It still is, last week was a year. I reached out to this site because I needed to know that people have felt this pain and are getting through it. People are getting through it. The pain is intense and the grief can be disorienting. It's hard to see beyond it. You can get through this, one day at a time. If you need individual or group counseling, please seek it out and do that for yourself. There is no shame in caring for yourself. Especially now. If you need to cry, do that. Get your emotions out in as healthy a way as you can. If you can, try to refocus from the pain to gratitude and memories of your mom. If you pray, do that. Someone dear to me told me early on that my mom would want me to be okay. She would. She would want me to be okay. That sticks with me when I'm at my lowest. You can probably say the same to yourself, when it's the hardest. It is difficult to know how to get an okay place now, while you're grieving because you probably don't feel much like yourself. But the more you get up each day and get into a routine, the more normal things will hopefully feel and the better you can hopefully deal with your emotions. A Grief Share group at www.griefshare.org has been helpful to me for support. Take this one day at a time, one moment at a time. Please seek the help you need and find a counselor and/ or group to talk to about your feelings. Praying for your peace and strength.
  8. Loss of my precious mother

    Take it one day at a time. And be kind to yourself. It's tremendously painful to lose someone so dear. Tomorrow is a year for me since the loss of my very best friend, my mom. We were so close and I've lost a part of me. My mom was briefly ill, but I never ever thought this. It's been devastating and heartbreaking for me. It still doesn't feel real and I still wish it was not. I wasn't able to look ahead during this year because it was all so overwhelming. So I could only take it a day at a time. I can't even believe it's been a year. It's still very painful and I long for my mom, but I guess I do carry it differently now. You may benefit from a grief group for the extra support. In the US, there's a program called Grief Share www.griefshare.org. Take it one day at a time and express your grief and emotions in as healthy a way as you can. Take care of yourselves. Hoping for your comfort, strength and peace.
  9. Hi, the 21st is a marker for me too. It's 7 months today that I lost my dear mom, my best friend. It's very hard to process. Losing my mom has been the most devastating and heartbreaking experience. It's so new for you, a month in, that it's overwhelming for sure. I am so sorry for your loss. It's intensely painful to lose someone as dear as a mom. I hope you will consider going to the doctor to get the pains you are having checked, it may help you. Also, you may want to consider a grief group for the emotional support you need. A resource is Grief Share at www.griefshare.org. I know right now it's hard to know what to do. Keep expressing your emotions. Be gentle with yourself and take care of yourself as best you can. Take this one day at a time, one moment at a time. I wish you peace. Know that others care and can relate.
  10. 3 month mark after moms death

    Dear Sweetisabelle, It's been 5 months since I unexpectedly lost my mom. She was the most amazing woman I've known, my best friend. It's all still very shocking to me. And so intensely painful. I feel like I've lost a part of myself. The first few months I was both devastated and numb. Small things were overwhelming. Like Reader said, take it one day at a time, one moment at a time. Feel what you feel and lean into the grief. Keep doing the next right thing, no matter how small. And hopefully some things will eventually start to feel a bit easier. I too cannot stop thinking about how painful this first Mother's Day will be. The daily pain is hard enough. I'm creating memory boxes for my immediate family. I'm trying to refocus my energy into honoring my mom and being grateful for having been blessed with her. It won't be the same. I know I'll cry a lot and it will hurt a lot because I just want her here. But nothing is the same. I'm not the same. This is all hard for me to believe. Reader's words are true. We can only take this one day at a time. I attend a Grief Share grief group www.griefshare.org and it's helped me to have the support as I work through my emotions and the shock of it all. I'm sorry you're going through this and that we're all going through this. Know that others can relate to how you feel and the pain you are experiencing. Someone dear to me said, my mom would want me to be ok. I keep thinking again and again, my mom would want me to be ok. I'm sure your mom would want you to be ok too. Keep taking it one day at a time and be kind to yourself.
  11. I just miss my mom

    Thank you all for your kind responses. It helps. It's hard to share with people who haven't experienced this, so it helps to know that people here can relate. I'm sorry we're all going through this. It's so hard. My mom had cancer too but we had no idea how bad it was and she passed quickly and unexpectedly. It's shocking and surreal. It's true, it feels like a horrible dream. For the first couple of months I thought it was a nightmare. It's hard to process, I just try to take things one say at a time. She was so vibrant and amazing, my best friend. I know she would want me to live fully just as she did but I'm just heartbroken. I miss her so.
  12. I just miss my mom

    Thank you, Ama. It's so hard to believe this has happened. It really helps to know others can relate. I'm sorry we're all going through this.
  13. It's been 4, almost 5, months since my mom passed and there are times that I am still completely stunned. I know this has happened but the reality of it is so hard. I long for my mom. I miss her so much. I have ok days but sometimes it hits me so hard that my mom isn't here. We were so close and she was so amazing. I try to think of her with gratitude for having been blessed with her. But the void without her is deep and painful. I just really miss my mom.
  14. I recently started attending a Christian based grief group through Grief Share for support. I'm hopeful that the program will provide me with the spiritual component I need and help me to process the pain. Maybe it will help someone else too.
  15. Thank you Cindy Jane and thank you for the scripture. It does comfort me too. One that helps me is: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”‭‭Psalm‬ ‭34:18‬ ‭