Emeliza

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About Emeliza

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

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  • Gender
  • Loss Type
    Spouse
  • Angel Date
    8/18/2016
  1. I took the song as meaning the temporal act of love, the physical part. I agree, love doesn't end.
  2. I hope this gave you great comfort. I think it was a great sign sent to you.
  3. This isn't something we can necessarily answer. I have known people to be married within 6 months or less of their spouse of decades dying and others who never remarry. Neither is wrong. Your boyfriend dating again after his girlfriend died might be "too soon" for him or it might be just fine. It does not change how he felt about her though. It might be a testimite of how much he loved her and being in a relationship that he has found it with you as well. I think you just need to communicate openly with him. And just because he loved her doesn't mean you are a "replacement". It means he likes to love. He has a big heart. Just as having more than one child does not diminish the love for the first child, a new love does not replace the one you lost or vice versa. Sorry, rambling a bit here.
  4. I think most of us get this exactly. The vast majority of us are not suicidal, we just want to be with our partners, our love. It is hard to explain to people not in this situation though.
  5. It is natural to beat yourself up. It really is, even though we most likely couldn't have changed the outcome. I kept thinking, I should have noticed he wasn't feeling well that week. I just thought he was tired, but I should have known. And I should have been there that morning and held him. Why did he have to be alone. But the truth is, I didn't know and I wasn't there. You didn't know. And you were both adults so I don't think you put her meds together for her. It just happened. Crap just happens. Our entire lives change from such small things. I am sorry this didn't bring you closure, not sure we get a lot of that. But try not to focus on what ifs. They don't help.
  6. I am sorry. Those words are never adequate. I lost my love 5 months ago and it is a struggle not constantly wanting to join him. I am not and haven't been suicidal, but my desire to live is not strong as I would rather be with my husband. I have learned to just take one moment at a time, keep breathing, and my escape is to read or watch movies. Mostly reading because it is a solitary activity, not something I did with my husband. It gets easier to deal with the ache and grief as time goes on. It doesn't go away and I am not sure it gets better, but it gets easier. My thoughts are with you.
  7. My biggest support has been the few friends that want to hear about my Levi and want me to tell stories and if they have them, share them also.
  8. Cancer killed your husband. I get beating yourself up. We all do it to some extent. If only we had (insert whatever here), they would have lived. That isn't how it works though. Not really. It sucks (to put it mildly), but it happens. We lose the ones we love to diease, accidents, sudden health issues. Blaming yourself won't change it and your husband wouldn't want you to be stuck on his death. Remember his life instead. Or just try and breath. Take it one moment at a time. Come here and vent.
  9. Your baby looks wiser than her days. More mature if that makes sense. She is absolutely perfect and I am glad you got that photo done.
  10. Sorry they are trying to push this along. I suppose you just have to stick with it for a few months at least to get to some warmer weather when more people are willing to join in.
  11. One moment at a time is all we can do sometimes. And it is such a common thought to not be suicidal, but wish we could die and be with our loves. I still have many moments where I feel this way. Tomorrow is 5 months. I don't know how I made it. I don't know how I can sleep or eat or work or care for my daughter and pets.....I just do. It does get easier, but you still get hit by tidal waves. You will go a whole week feeling ok and the following week you are a mess again. And people say such thoughtless things. I am sorry we are all going thru this. I miss my husband so much. I know you all miss your love as well.
  12. It is pretty natural to either lose faith or be angry. I struggle now and again. I tend to think I am being punished and it is hard to get past that some days. I try to work everyday on not letting myself become angry or bitter. My biggest reason for that is I do believe in the afterlife and I don't want to become someone my husband wouldn't have liked. I think right now, you take care of you and do what little you can to make sure you can survive....whatever that means. Best wishes
  13. Julie- I am sorry for your loss. My husband also passed of an unexpected heart attack at only 41. People think they are trying to help, but if they haven't felt this loss, they don't get it. They think our loves can be replaced.....and they can't. And it isn't helpful to hear those comments.
  14. Anger is pretty normal as well. Just keep being their parent and hopefully in time they will start healing.
  15. I went to a regular counselor as my insurance doesn't cover grief counseling alone. It wasn't a good experience. So I don't have much of an answer to give. Make sure the person has knowledge of grief counseling and good luck.