reader

Members
  • Content count

    500
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by reader

  1. Dear Holly, My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your uncle. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know you and your mom are doing the best you can to support your aunt. Its a very difficult time. I know she is drinking to numb the pain and maybe quiet her thoughts. Losing a beloved spouse is a terrible shock. The pain and sorrow feel unbearable. Do you think she would be receptive to seeing a grief counsellor or joining a support group. Maybe she will consider accessing some resources through the community or church. There are so many books and websites that I find comforting and helpful. What's Your Grief, The Grief Healing Blog, The Grief Recovery Method, Legacy.com, Tiny Buddha, GriefShare.Org There are so many phases of grief and we all handle it differently. Sometimes even those closest to us don't understand the depths of our feelings or thoughts. She is lucky to have you and your mom trying to support her. My other suggestion would be for your aunt to share her story on the forum here that is for loss of spouse. There are so many caring and loving people there that will also listen and support her. And hopefully let her know she is not alone in her struggle.
  2. Dear Jordan, I'm very sorry for the pain and sorrow you are feeling. Its only natural and normal to have these feelings Losing a dad or mum is the hardest thing in the world. Of course you miss your dad and want so badly for him to see you through all phases of life. At these moments, I know there are no comforting words. Please know you are not alone. We are all here to listen and support you. Take it moment by moment and do the best you can.
  3. Dear southafrica89, I'm very sorry to hear about the passing your boyfriend's cherished dad. I know this is a very difficult time for you both. Grief is very tough. I felt like your boyfriend at times, pushing people away and being moody. Losing a parent is a terrible shock. You start to question everything and everyone. Since he is texting you, I would not give up on him. I would continue to let him know you care but also willing to give him space if needed. It never hurts to send a quick text or email asking him how he is doing. I'm sure there are days he doesn't even know. We go from angry to pretending everything is OK in one moment. We all struggle with our emotions. Maybe when is ready he might consider talking with a grief counsellor or joining a support group. I find these websites helpful in understanding grief. What's Your Grief and The Grief Healing Blog. Things will never be the same for your boyfriend, but hopefully with more time and the support of everyone around, he will be able to find joy again.
  4. Dear Inpain, My deepest sympathies and condolences on the passing of your mom. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the pain and sorrow is unbearable. Everything you are feeling and thinking is normal and natural. We all do the same thing as part of our grief journey. We ask why? And we go back on the last days, its just how our minds work. Please be kind and gentle with yourself. You loved your mom and that is what matters. How could you know what was to happen? Someone told me hindsight is 20/20 but it can also be a torment. I know I can say, please don't do this to yourself, but we all do. Try to surround yourself with loving friends and family. If you want, try to access resources in the community or through church. Or consider counselling or a support group. Please know you are not alone. We are all here to listen and support you. Thinking of you during this difficult time.
  5. Dear not great, I'm sorry for the pain and sorrow you feel. Losing friends is very tough. But please know there lots of ways to reach out and make new friends in the community or through church. Don't ever give up on yourself. Believe in yourself. Join new activities and purse your passions, those are some new ways to connect with people. If you want to, consider talking to a counselor or joining a support group.
  6. Dear Aernacor, You are an amazing mother, so loving and giving. This little boy was so fortunate to have your care and love. I know it hurts. And I think it takes some time to come to terms with any change or loss. Its a daily struggle sometimes. Keep writing and talking and surrounding yourself with loving friends and family. Some have suggested a memory box to me. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve. We all take different paths to joy again. Is there anyway you can still visit him? Or get updates on him? Everyone says grief is the price we pay for love. And sometimes I feel the price is too deep. There will be tears for a long time. It takes the mind and body a long time to deal with the shock. Please know you are not alone. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.
  7. Dear Aries, My deepest condolences and sympathies on the loss of your mum. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know its hard. And harder still to see your dad dating and now being attached to this new woman who is not your mum. Your feelings are completely normal and understandable. We all grieve differently. And you are still very much mourning your mum as you should. Please know you are not alone. I lost my father last year. And I know it would be hard but if you can find a way maybe reach out to your dad. Let him know how you feel. Maybe he would consider family counselling or joining a support group together. There are other resources in the community or through church that you could try as well. Because he is your dad, please don't give up on him. We all need a dad even a dad that doesn't do what we want. Don't let your anger and resentment distance yourself from him. I'm sure he needs you as much as you need him. I know its easier said than done, but I would try. Losing a parent or spouse is very devastating and I don't know if any of us know how we will behave till it happens. Sorry to hear how you feel. Keep posting here and let us know how are you doing. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.
  8. Dear anmitchell2017, My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your father. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the pain and sorrow is unbearable. Its a terrible shock. During these early days of grief, I think the only thing we can do is take it moment by moment. And continue to surround yourself with loving friends and family. Try to be kind and gentle with yourself. I know you loved your father very much. Its always easier said than done, but how could you know things would change so quickly. The doctor told me my dad had heart failure and we could expect him to live 6 months to one year and then he passes 2 days later. I too feel guilty. I badly wish we all could go back in time. Please know we are all here to listen and support you in anyway we can. Sending you and your family all my thoughts and prayers.
  9. Dear Rouwa, I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved mom. I know you and your family are going through a lot. Its really tough. (((hugs))) I hope you can surround yourself with loving friends and family members. Also consider talking to a counsellor or joining a support group. Try accessing resources in the community or through church for support. Grief is a terrible journey and we all take it moment by moment. Its the best any of us can do. I still struggle 7 months after my dad's passing. Please know it won't be easy but we are all going to make it. It does take time and tears but we'll get through it. Please know you are not alone. And we are all here to listen and support you in anyway we can. You are an angel for being the strong one for your siblings. They are lucky to have you. Please don't be afraid to try and get help for the family during this trying time. Thinking of you and your family. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.
  10. Dear Lisa, Thank you for sharing your photos with us. Mission is right you are beautiful! I know its very tough with all the treatments. Thinking of you. Sending all my thoughts and prayers that you will feel better soon. If there is anything we can do, please let us know. I wish I knew how to attach a huge bouquet of cyber roses for you. Take care my friend.
  11. Dear Saddenheart, My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your beloved mom. I'm so sorry for your loss. Everything you are feeling and thinking is normal and part of grief. You have a lot going on. Supporting your two brothers and trying to allow yourself to grieve is very hard. Have you considered talking to a grief counsellor? Or joining a support group? I have tried almost everything I can think of to help myself understand my loss. And yet there are still so many days I long to see my dad alive. This new reality feels almost impossible to accept. I just wanted you to know you are not alone. Please know we are all here to listen and support you in anyway we can. Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.
  12. Dear Jordan, I'm very sorry to hear how deep your pain is. I'm worried about your self harm. I don't know what country you are in but I think you should call a crisis line or a kids help line number available in Canada and Australia and UK. They will help you talk to someone that will listen and support you. I know you feel alone during this very stressful time. I want to suggest these websites that might be able to help you cope as well. What's Your Grief and The Grief Healing Blog. I don't fully know your family situation. So I don't want to push you if you are not comfortable. But please continue to reach out and get help. Sending you my thoughts and prayers.
  13. Dear Abby, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know you've been through so much. Please know you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings. Losing a parent is a terrible shock. And there will always be a scar on our hearts. I don't think its a matter of getting over as much as its about surviving and thriving and incorporating this loss into our life story. Its hard but we can create new rituals to honor our parent's memory. We are all so different. For myself, I am trying everything and anything to help myself understand this difficult moment in life. I've tried counselling, joining a support group, journaling, art classes, reading different books, websites and articles. I find the websites What's Your Grief, The Grief Healing Blog, Legacy.com, GriefShare.Org, The Grief Recovery Method all very helpful. Please be kind and gentle with yourself. Thinking of you. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.
  14. Dear Elizabeth, My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing your beloved dad. I'm so sorry for loss. I know the pain and sorrow is unbearable. It does feel surreal. I ask myself the same questions. Its still very early in your grief. And its only normal to think about those last days. We all do it. But hopefully with more time the good memories will be the dominant ones. I know everyone is different but I've tried a variety of things to cope with my grief. I have tried counselling, joining a support group, journaling, taking classes, visiting websites like What's Your Grief and The Grief Healing Blog. I think it takes a long time for your minds to understand the unfathomable. Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.
  15. Dear Jeff, My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your beloved mom. I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. Your thoughts, feelings and questions are a normal part of grief. Losing our parents is a terrible shock. It takes a toll on our minds and bodies. So many of us feel as you do, we all wanted more time. We wanted the outcome to be different. Jeff, how could you know? You loved your mom. I know its easier said than done, but you did not fail your mom. You did the best you could. If you feel like it, maybe consider talking to a counsellor or joining a support group. I find these websites helpful in understanding my grief. What's Your Grief and the Grief Healing Blog. Please know you are not alone. Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.
  16. Dear Friend, I am very sorry to hear how you feel. I know its hard. You have been through so much. And you sound like a very loving and giving person. Grief does take a toll. Have you considered counselling or joining a support group? It might be good to be around like minded people. I also like these websites AgingCare.com, What's Your Grief and the Grief Healing Blog. Maybe your boyfriend doesn't know what to say or do. Sometimes people feel paralyzed themselves when faced with loss. I know it hurts but please know a lot of people do care. You are not alone. And we'll be here to listen and support you in anyway we can. Take care.
  17. http://forums.grieving.com/index.php?/forum/15-loss-of-a-partner/ I would try posting your thoughts and feelings on this forum. I'm very sorry for your loss.
  18. Dear Greg, I'm so sorry to hear about your fiancé's mother. Its very a painful time. I think just letting her know you are available to listen is very important. Grief is not something that can be fixed or hurried along. The shock of loss is unbearable. Maybe when she is ready, she might consider counselling or joining a support group. I find these websites helpful in understanding grief. What's Your Grief and the Grief Healing Blog. Try posting on this forum: http://forums.grieving.com/index.php?/forum/13-loss-of-a-parent-mother-or-father/ There are more people posting there who might be able to add their suggestions.
  19. I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. Please tell us the reason for your grief and emotional numbness. I see you have written betrayal, but maybe you could tell us more. There are many forums here based on loss of parent, child, partner or job loss. Depending on your loss, posting in those forums might generate more support and answers. I also find these websites helpful in coping with grief: What's Your Grief and The Grief Healing Blog. Take care. I hope you are able to find the support you are looking for.
  20. Dear Kristina, I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. Please consider posting in the Loss of Partner forum. There are more posters there that understand and will be better able to support you. http://forums.grieving.com/index.php?/forum/15-loss-of-a-partner/ Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.
  21. Dear Ibramigk, I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. Losing a beloved grandparent is very hard. We always think we have more time. It is a terrible shock. All your thoughts and feelings are natural and normal. Grief can be a long journey. If you want to, consider talking to a grief counsellor or joining a support group. I also find these websites helpful in understanding my grief What's Your Grief and The Grief Healing Blog. Please know you are not alone. We are all here to listen and support you. Take care.
  22. Dear estranged, The loss of a parent is a terrible shock. I know you were trying to be strong for your mum and you didn't want to add to her pain. Its not uncommon to have feelings of grief and depression many years later. I was reading about Prince Harry. His mom died in a car accident when he was 12 years old and he didn't talk to a counsellor till he was 28 years old. I think it just goes to show, it is never to late to reach out. Have you considered talking to a counsellor? Joining a support group? I also find these websites helpful What's Your Grief and the Grief Healing Blog. I hope there are some other resources in your community or through church that can help you work through your thoughts and feelings. I struggle with the same feelings and thoughts and questions. I think we all have them and wish things could be different. I'm a lot older than you, but I too feel like my life has stopped since my dad passed away last year. I keep telling myself to keep living and move forward but we all have our bad days. Please know you are not alone. Take care the best you can.
  23. Dear Jordan, I'm sorry for your pain and sorrow. I know it hurts and you miss your beloved dad a lot. Its only normal to want to think about your dad. Have you considered talking to a grief counsellor about your feelings? Or a trusted friend or family member? They would want to know how are you feeling and what is the best way to support you? I have also tried writing in a journal and talking to my dad out loud sometimes. I like to think he can hear me. Sometimes it just helps to talk out loud. We all hurt when we lose a parent and it takes a long time to understand. I still struggle myself. Please know you are not alone. And we are all here to listen and offer support. Thinking of you.
  24. I hear you Lisa. I am so grateful I have a place to go to online with so many loving and supportive people. The understanding I have received has been a blessing. I've needed all the understanding I can get since my father passed away. Thinking of you and your mom during this Mother's Day weekend. Take care, my friend.
  25. You are a good friend for supporting your friend through this very difficult time. I think just letting your friends know you care and are willing to talk is more than most people. Most friends would just disappear off the radar. A fruit bouquet is a nice gesture as well. I would take my queues from my friends. Give them a card letting them know you care. Just keep checking in with them.