reader

Members
  • Content count

    571
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About reader

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
  1. Dear sj2017, My deepest condolences and sympathies on the loss of your beloved mom. I'm very sorry for your loss. Everyone is different and there is no right way or wrong way. I have tried almost everything and anything to help me cope. If you want to, try counselling, grief support, reading different articles and books. There are also programs through the community and websites GriefShare.Org and The Grief Recovery Method. I also find these websites helpful: What's Your Grief and The Grief Healing Blog. Please know you are not alone. We are all here to listen and support you. Take care of yourself. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.
  2. Dear Robin, I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. I know you loved your dad very much. I'm so sad to hear about what happened with the EKG. I would be so angry too. I don't know what is wrong with the medical profession sometimes. I know we are all humans and no one is perfect but we do expect doctors to have better judgement. I'm also very angry about my father's passing. I hated his doctor in rehab after the stroke. My dad went from being on no pills to 10 and the side effects were devastating. In three months he was down almost 40 pounds. He almost starved to death. He became so weak and mentally disorientated. Everyone was dismissing my concerns. After 6 months we finally got the meds right or so I thought. Then he started having teeth issues and skin issues. My dad got stubborn and decided he didn't want his pills. I let him get away with it because he almost starved to death. I tried to get him back on track but he only got angry with me. It was all too late. He had a series of heart attacks and died. When we were at the hospital the doctor told us that dad had heart failure but believed he could live another 6 months to one year. She gave me a false expectation. Because 2 days later he died. I saw him the day he died. He was very weak. But I thought, it will be fine, I will see him tomorrow. 2 hours after I left his bedside the doctor called to tell me, he had passed. I hate the doctor so much for her judgement or inexperience. Or maybe giving him too many water pills. But I feel as you do, he should have lived longer! He should still be here. Losing my father has been the worst day of my life. Its been 8 months for me and I don't know when I feel normal again. I have tried almost everything to wrap my head around what happened. Grief counselling, grief support, reading books and articles, talking and talking but sometimes I really don't know. I've also tried to distract with myself with watching movies or finding new classes to take. I think it just reminds me my dad is really gone. And then I get tearful. I have been going in circles but I keep trying anything and everything in hopes that more time will make the pain less intense. Thinking of you. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.
  3. Hi Little Sis, Sorry I did not reply back sooner. Here is a couple of books: The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion A Grief Observed C.S. Lewis The Grief Recovery Book by Russell Friedman Take care my friend.
  4. Dear Sweetheart, Thinking of you. I know its very hard so soon after losing your beloved mom. Everything you are thinking and feeling is normal part of grief. I have the same triggers and its 8 months for me since my dad passed. It sure doesn't make any easier. Like Whit B said, try and be gentle with yourself. Try and find a few distractions to break up the day. Read, watch a movie, go for a walk, whatever interests you. Let the tears fall when you want. Even now after coming home from work, I still struggle with the knowledge that my father is gone. How could he be gone? Take care my friend. Please know you are not alone. We will be here to listen and support you in anyway we can.
  5. Dear Flory, My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your beloved mom. I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I hear you, my friend. It sounds like you and your mom loved each other very much and had a great relationship. I know these last few months have been very tough. Its only natural to go over every detail. I still do it and its been 8 months since my father passed away. Everyone has told me, I did the best I could for my dad. I did what I thought was best and yes, its torture in hindsight. I thought to myself "if only" and then the outcome would be different. We are only human. I know its cold comfort sometimes during this painful time. And so many people say "forgive yourself" because in your heart and soul and mind, you really did try and do what you thought was best for your mom. It wasn't easy but you tried to keep the peace. You, too, tried to "fix it" for your mom just like she did for you when you were a kid. I don't think its a matter of time that helps us cope with grief. I know everyone is different, but I would try and seek out additional supports. Its going to take a long time for our minds to accept this new reality. I have tried grief counselling, support groups, reading different books and articles. I find these websites helpful: What's Your Grief and the Grief Healing Blog. Try to be kind and gentle with yourself. I know its a lot easier said than done, but I hope you will try. You loved your mom. Wanted the best for your mom. You tried, my friend and that is more than anyone else did. Thinking of you. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.
  6. I know. It is hard. Please know we are here to listen.
  7. Dear Little Sis, My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your beloved sister. I know the pain and sorrow is deep. It is horribly shocking to lose a beloved family member. Its only been March, I think you are entitled to your feelings. I know its hard on those around us to see us in pain but I think its all part of grief. My own family doesn't understand either. My counsellor told me that the more people tell you to "move on" the more likely you will want to hang on to your grief. Everyone has told me it will take more time possibly even years before I can come to terms with what happened. In the meantime, I have tried to find supports other than my family and certain friends because they cannot relate. I have tried counselling, joining a support group, writing, reading different books and articles about grief. I also find these websites helpful. What's Your Grief and the Grief Healing Blog. I know there are programs from GriefShare.Org and The Grief Recovery Method as well. Grief is a long journey. Please know you are not alone. We are all here to listen and support you. Thinking of you during this difficult time. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.
  8. Dear Hope, I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of one of your best friends. It is shocking and I'm sorry for your pain and sorrow. I hear your anger about the doctors. I'm sure I would ask myself the same questions. How could of this happened? Please know you are not alone. I think for right now its best to try and let your emotions out. And to be as kind and gentle as you can with yourself. In my journey, I found these websites helpful in understanding my feelings. What's Your Grief and The Grief Healing Blog. I have also tried counselling, grief support, reading various books and articles. Thinking of you. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.
  9. Your mom chose a very sweet name for her dog. I love that name Sadie. Take care of yourself. Be kind and gentle. I know its tough. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.
  10. Dear Sadie, I'm so sorry for your shocking loss. I know the pain and sorrow is very deep. Sending all my love and hugs during this difficult time.
  11. Dear Steve's mom, Thank you for these beautiful words.
  12. Hi all, With it being Father's Day weekend, I know it will be a tough one for many of us. Sending you all love and hugs.
  13. Dear Alone, I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. I know it hurts a lot. And its horrible the way people around us sometimes fail to show some sensitivity and compassion for our feelings. I know its not easy. Please know you are not alone. We are here for you. And if you want to continue reaching out and looking for other supports. I have tried almost everything myself from grief counselling, grief support group, reading, journaling, taking a new class, just something to keep me going. Its moment by moment during these difficult times. Try to be kind and gentle with yourself. And if you need to vent or need anything at all, please know we are here. Thinking of you. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.
  14. Its normal to feel this way soon after losing your superhero. I know. Me, too. I want to feel normal too but the truth is it will take a long time for us to find a new normal. Its not the one we want. And its not the one any us understand. Let yourself be stuck right now. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Give yourself more time and don't be afraid to reach out if you want to talk or look for other supports. Always remember people care and want to help. We are here for you.
  15. Dear Sweetheart, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the pain is deep. Its only normal and natural to think about all the times you spent with your mom. Your mom knew. She knew how much you loved her. All parents know. Keep writing. Please know you are not alone. We will be here to listen and support you in anyway we can. Thinking of you. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.