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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

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  1. Dear Friends, Hard to believe half of January is over. Thinking of you all.
  2. Dear Daniel, My deepest condolences and sympathies. I am so sorry for your loss. I know the pain and sorrow is unbearable. There is a lot on your young shoulders. Please know that grief is very hard on the mind and body. It is only natural and normal to replay those moments over and over again. I did too and even one year later, I still do it. For now, just try and be kind and gentle with yourself. Take everything moment by moment. Don't push too hard. Just getting by each day will be a win. I know its not easy and if you need someone to talk to or just listen, please know we are all here. I found these websites helpful in coping with my loss: What's Your Grief The Grief Healing Blog Grief in Common GriefShare.Org The Grief Recovery Method Tiny Buddha Legacy.com If you can consider talking to grief counsellor or joining a grief support group in your area. Thinking of you and your family during this extremely difficult time. With all my thoughts and prayers.
  3. Cry for an ear

    Dear Daddy's Sweetheart, I'm so sorry to hear how you feel. I know its really hard. Sending you love and hugs. Please know you are not alone. We are all here to listen and support you. I would second Tessa's suggestions. I know it won't be easy but there are good people in the world. I too find it hard to make connections but there are so many ways to build a social network. Maybe consider joining a grief support group. MeetUp groups, church and other activities might provide you and your brother additional supports. And hopefully through work you have a few good friends there too. Thinking of you. Please keep writing and letting us know how are doing. With all my thoughts and prayers.
  4. Dear chusk, Please know true friends will understand where you are coming from and should be very understanding and compassionate. Maybe start with "the reason I was so emotional in class is because..." And go from there. I know it feels awkward to talk about feelings and painful times, but true friends will want to support you. Please let us know how it goes. Thinking of you.
  5. Dear Mike, I am so sorry to hear this. I know the pain is raw right now. Please know we are all here for you. Thinking of you during this difficult time.
  6. Recent Loss of brother

    Dear seashelly, My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm very sorry for your loss. I know its really hard. Grief is a long road and I think the first year there are so many raw emotions we have to work through. Everyone grieves so differently, so please know there is no fixed timeline. I find with myself that after the first anniversary I was feeling less raw. Still sad and angry some days but not as raw. My one counsellor said generally around 18 to 24 months and another said potentially up to 5 years. At 6 months I was still horribly angry and sad. Sending you love and hugs. Please know you are not alone. We are all here to listen and support each other. And if you want to consider talking to a grief counsellor or joining a support group. Thinking of you.
  7. Dear NMRNO, Sleeping is so hard when going through grief. My suggestion would try to have a routine. Try to do some meditating or breathing exercises. I try to make sure my room is dark and there are no electronics. Some people find having a noise machine that makes sound waves helpful. Another option is to talk to your doctor. I know for some the only way to sleep is to take a mild sleeping pill. It is hard to let out the emotions. If you can try and find a grief counsellor to speak with or join a support group. Or keep writing here and let us know how are you doing. Thinking of you.
  8. Thank you for letting us know how the trip is going. It is a good way to honor your dad. I'm sure he would want you to enjoy yourselves the best you can. Thinking of you and your family.
  9. Loss of my sister

    Dear Purelane, I know its really hard right now. And its only natural and normal to go back and think but if only...and so on. The questions and what-ifs are endless. I did this too. It is pure torture and I know its a lot easier said than done but please don't do this to yourself. You loved your sister and only wanted to help her and make her happy. Never in your imagination could you have predicted how her boyfriend would react or foresee this terrible tragedy. None of us can. We only do what we think is best in the moment and carry on. I know we all want to protect our loved ones from sadness and sorrow and pain. If anything your sister was extremely lucky to have you love her and care about her so much. Buying her car was about love and happiness and the future. Grief is a long road. I know these type of thoughts will circle back for a period of time. Its part of grief. Sending love and hugs.
  10. Dear Deb, My deepest condolences and sympathies. I am very sorry for your loss. It is only natural and normal to be angry after your losing your beloved mother. I, too was very angry. Angry at the whole world. Why did this have to happen to me? Why is the world so unfair? I felt terrible rage at everything leading up to my father's passing. I don't know why my father had to pass on. My brain could not make sense of the reality of death. I felt like I was in a movie and not real life. I was sure my father should still be at home watching TV and drinking his coffee. The finality of death was very hard for me to accept. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Give yourself time to grieve. Lean on trusted friends and family during this difficult time. Thinking of you. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.
  11. Loss of my sister

    Dear Purelane, My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am very sorry for your loss. The pain and sorrow is unbearable. Sending you love and hugs. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Surround yourself with loving and trusted friends and family during this extremely difficult time. Please know there are many resources in the community and through church that are available to help. Thinking of you and your family. With all my thoughts and prayers.
  12. Dear Sweetasabelle, Thinking of you. I know the time leading up to the one year anniversary is very hard. For myself, I brought flowers and my dad's favorite coffee to his gravesite. I also donated some money to my dad's favorite charity. Please don't be hard on yourself. There are many different ways to honor our parents. From a quiet day at home thinking of them, writing about them to going out and doing one of their favorite activities. There is no right way or wrong way. I'm so sorry I know its not easy. I too have these flashbacks and find it hard to cope with. Over the course of year I have tried almost everything from counselling, grief support, art classes, journaling, reading, talking, writing and being around supportive people. It takes a long time for the raw emotions to lessen. I will be thinking of you and your family on Feb. 9th. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.
  13. Dear Hills, My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am very sorry for all the losses you have gone through. I know its very hard and almost unimaginable for all this happen so close together. I hear you. Sending you love and hugs. Like Tessa said try and be kind to yourself. I know you loved both your parents very much and did the very best you could. I know its a lot easier said than done, but try and be gentle with yourself now. Part of grief is replaying and going over every detail. We all do this because our minds and bodies are struggling with our loss. You sound like a very kind, dedicated and loving person. I know we are the type of people to give ourselves zero room for mistakes. But we are human. Someone said to me, you could not have saved your dad on your own. I wanted to so badly, I really did. I was not prepared for the day when I would not have a dad on this earth. It took me almost a year for the feelings and thoughts to lessen in intensity. I am trying to honor my dad. I have done some role playing in therapy to tell my dad how sorry I was for not doing more for him. Part of me is stubborn and I didn't want to let go, but I know I can't live in the past either. Please know we are all here to listen and support each other. Thinking of you Sending all my thoughts and prayers.
  14. Pain and emotions.

    Dear Pippy, I'm very sorry for your loss and the pain and sorrow you are feeling. It is hard. And you are right, it's not nothing that goes away. But hopefully over more time raw emotions will be less intense. They say the first year is the hardest and grief is like a wave. I had this feeling too. There would be some days I would push myself to keep going and other days I would cry. Please know everyone grieves differently and there is no right way. After such a devastating loss it is normal to be sensitive about the death if even things in nature. It is a reminder how fragile life is and it is reminder of our sorrow. Please don't be hard on yourself. For myself, I tried many different things to cope with my grief. I tried counselling, grief support group, art classes, reading, journaling and other activities to distract myself. I still cried and found it really hard. My friends and family said I needed more time and that has helped. It has given me more perspective. I still find certain things hard. And even the counsellors said it could take up to 5 years to find a new normal. Everyone I meet is a testament that although grief is unbearable at time, we will pull through. We will find a new normal. And find ways to continue to honour our loved ones. Thinking of you. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.
  15. Dear Angela, I'm so sorry, I know a lot of people feel this way. Please know there are a lot of good people that care. There many community and church groups that can alleviate some of the loneliness. I know some people have that find MeetUp groups helpful. I hope things are better. Thinking of you.
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