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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

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  1. No Closure

    Dear Lolly, Thank you for telling us your experience. I am so sorry to hear about everything you have gone through. It is unimaginable pain and sorrow. Everyone is entitled to their feelings. It is so raw and it takes a long time to come terms with what happened. Life is so unfair and its not easy to understand. Grief has so many ups and downs. During this difficult time after going through the court process, I think it would be better to get more supports. It really helps to have a trusted person to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Find the right counsellor or family therapist or consider joining a support group. I found these websites helpful in understanding my feelings. What's Your Grief, The Grief Healing Blog and Grief in Common. Please know we are all here. Thinking of you. Sending you love and hugs.
  2. Dear Marie, I am so sorry to hear about everything you are going through. I hope these links will connect to the resources in the community that will support you. Please know we care. Thinking of you. Sending my thoughts and prayers. https://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/4/mental-health-services/ https://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/1/lho/northdublin/mentalhealth/mentalhealthsucidesupportdublinnorth.html
  3. My Sister

    Dear Sadie, I am very sorry for your pain and sorrow. It is so hard. Please know we are all here to listen to each other and support each other the best we can. Thinking of you and your family. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.
  4. Dear Jillian, Thank you for letting us know how you are doing. Please know we are all here. Thinking of you. Sending you love and hugs.
  5. Dear Rob, I am very sorry your pain and sorrow. Grief takes a toll. I know everyone grieves differently. Here are a few things I tried to cope with my grief: Talked to grief counsellor Joined a support group Tried art classes Journaling Reading different websites like What's Your Grief and Grief in Common Meditation I talked to a lot of different people but they all told me to keep working on my thoughts. I had to decide for myself to keep going. I had to. Lots of people care about you and I know its hard. But just keep getting up every day and try to keep going and eventually it will feel more natural. Take care. We are thinking of you.
  6. Dear miss ellipsis, I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved dad. Losing a parent is so tough. Grief hits us all very hard. It is not something that we can snap out of, we all have good days and bad days. I'm sure your boyfriend is sad to see you in so much pain. And maybe it did not come out the right way. He could be scared you are going to get deeper and deeper and he doesn't want that to happen. My family had this concern too. If you feel like it maybe seek out more support in the community or through church. Speak to a grief counsellor or join a support group. I also find these websites helpful in understanding my grief. What's Your Grief The Grief Healing Blog Grief in Common Grief Recovery Method. It is still very early in your grief. My one counsellor told me it could take anywhere from 12 to 18 months for the pain to lessen or up to 5 years to accept my new reality. It won't be an easy journey but we all have to try. It was hard for me too. But I tried to at least get up wash my face, brush my teeth and go to work. It is better for the body to go through the motions of life even when we don't want to. Sometimes I cried before work and sometimes after, but I tried to keep going each day. Thinking of you. Sending my thoughts and prayers.
  7. Dear Stellablue, My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am very sorry for your losses. It is a lot for one person to go through in a very short time. I can understand the shock and the need for space. Please know everything you are feeling and thinking is normal and natural and a part of grieving process. I had a very similar experience with my grandmother as well after my father passed. She lived in a nursing home. I visited her shortly after my dad's passing and she said to me "why do you have to go home? Your dad is not there anymore." I was so raw about my dad that after that, I avoided her almost a year. I know she was elderly and maybe that wasn't what she meant but I just couldn't deal with it. My whole life I tried to be the good one, the understanding one, but after losing my dad, I just didn't have it in anymore to do very much. Grief has taken a toll. We all need some peace to come to terms with everything that has happened. It sounds to me like you are a very good person going through an extremely difficult time. Please don't be hard on yourself. Try to be kind and gentle. You are allowed as much space as you need. Thinking of you. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.
  8. Dear Vickster, I am very sorry for your pain and sorrow. It's a lot for one person to go through. I know how badly we all want to go back and fix the past. But none of us really know what will happen, not that it makes the pain any easier. I, too, have the same regrets with my dad. My counsellor suggested to me talking with my dad as if he was right in front of me. Telling him everything I wanted him to know. Another suggestion was writing a letter. Reading it out loud and then burning it afterwards. I also thought about writing a letter and sending it up in a balloon. I found these websites helpful. What's Your Grief Grief in Common The Grief Healing Blog The Grief Recovery Method Guilt is a normal part of the grieving process. I can't tell you how many times I have replayed what happened with my dad. As so many others have tried to tell me, I have to try and find a way to move forward. I hope you will too. Thinking of you. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.
  9. Dear Vandana, Thank you for your kind words. I'm so sorry, I know life is not easy and it is hard to work through all the raw emotions. Keep taking it day by day. We will somehow get through this phase. Please know we are here with you. Sending you hugs.
  10. Dear Babyg1223, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know losing your beloved father is very hard. It is understandable that you find it hard to see your mom dating another man after 6 months. If you want to maybe consider talking to a grief counsellor or joining a support group. Keep talking it out. Please know were are here for you as well. Thinking of you. Sending my thoughts and prayers.
  11. lost my younger brother...

    Dear Blue, Thank you for coming back and letting us know how you are doing. I know its really hard and I'm sorry to hear about the breakup with your boyfriend. I know that only adds to your pain and sorrow. Thinking of you. I know grief is a long and hard road. But please know we are all still here with you. Take care. Sending my thoughts and prayers.
  12. Dear Jonathan, My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am very sorry for your the loss of your beloved father. Having feelings of guilt and regret is part of grieving. Please know its normal to go back and think, why didn't I notice this or that? I could have saved dad. I had this thought too. We all desperately want to have our parent till they are a healthy 100 year old. I know this is an extremely difficult time. Please be kind to yourself. We all do what we can with what we know. I know it feels empty right now, but hopefully with more time it will feel more bearable. Thinking of you and your family. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.
  13. Loss of mom

    Dear Danni, My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am very sorry for your loss. Please know what you are feeling and thinking is normal and natural. Having a sense of disbelief is part of the grief. One writer wrote "I knew my dad was dying but I never really believed he would die." That's how I felt when the doctor called me at work to tell me my father had passed. I had just left his beside at the hospital two hours earlier. I fully believed I would see him the next day. I even went about my day afterwards, getting gas, getting something to eat, thinking about seeing the social worker on Monday. I was raw. Everything felt so surreal. I could pretend my father was still alive but it wasn't true. I think it took me almost a year to come to terms with my new reality. I hate change at the best of times, but the finality of death was not something I could fully understand when it finally happened to me. Please know we are all here to listen and support each other. Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.
  14. Dear Vandana, We all miss our parents so dreadfully. It is almost unimaginable that we have not talked to them in so long. The first year is unbearable and the grief hits us so hard. Please know we are all here together. With hugs.
  15. Dear John, I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis and your current journey. I am sure it is overwhelming. I hope your doctor or nurse can help with additional resources in the community or through church. There are two memoirs that people recommend When Breath Becomes Air and The Bright Hour. Life is so unfair. And I feel it takes a long time to come to terms with any acceptance. Maybe talking with a minister or pastor or a spiritual leader might help as well. Thinking of you. Sending my thoughts and prayers.
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