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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

iriewildflowers

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About iriewildflowers

  • Rank
    Newbie

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Loss Type
    Boyfriend
  1. My boyfriend died in a car accident and I have no idea how to cope

    Thank you all for your supportive words and suggestions, it means a lot. Today my mom told me that my son said he feels like I don't care about him anymore. She was a little too firm in telling me that I need to pull through and be there for him. Her lack of understanding was hurtful. Its been less than a week and all I can manage to do has been just getting by. Eating is a chore, being alive is a struggle, not that death is an option, but thats part of the struggle, not being able to escape. I did try and reassure my son (who is 6) that I love him but am going through a really hard time and it will take time for me to be back to my old self. I don't think I will ever be who I was but I just hope I can turn that into a positive thing, not lose myself entirely to depression which I have struggled with for as long as I can remember. Moving to an isolated island during the coldest, darkest part of the year makes it harder. The only way living here was ok was the future plans I had with my love.
  2. We had a rocky relationship of almost a year. I loved him fiercely and I know he loved me even though he was emotionally unavailable. We had the kind of connection described in twin flames. Electric, magical, with the ability to rise above all the earthly bullshit. I had so much hope we could make it to a healthy place. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, to merge our two families. We worked so well together as a team. Losing him has been the most excruciating pain of my life, with so many layers of torturous emotions. I am less than a week in and have no idea how to live my life. All I know is that I must, for my son. I have felt alone my whole life, except for when I was with my love. Now that he is gone the lonely emptiness is too much to bear. Very few people in my life seem to be able to offer support. My best friend lives across the country. I just feel so alone with these terrible feelings.
  3. About a week before my boyfriend died in a car accident, I had a disturbing vision of a violent impact, much like what it would be like to collide with another car. It wasn't very clear, but it was so powerful I almost passed out. After that I had feelings of impending doom and dark dreams with my boyfriend in them. I honestly thought I was going to die. But then a week later, it was him. And I didn't even know until a day later. I don't know why I had these visions but couldn't feel his passing. It is all very painful and confusing.
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