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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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fresno11

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About fresno11

  • Rank
    Newbie

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    AZ
  • Loss Type
    All relatives

Converted

  • Occupation
    Advisor
  • Interests
    Travel, reading
  1. Just feeling so alone....any advice?

    I'm so sorry I haven't logged in lately to see your reply. Thank you so much for reaching out. I'm very, very sorry to hear of your losses, as well. I would love to stay in contact with you so we can share....anything....that might help. It has been several months since my first post, and I feel about the same. I'm starting to accept the fact that I might just feel this way forever. Kind of trying to fight it....but it's definitely not getting much better. How are you doing?
  2. Just feeling so alone....any advice?

    Thank you very much for the reply. I appreciate your kindness. <3
  3. I'm 34. My mother died when I was young, and my dad died about a year and a half ago, after my uncle and grandparents died a few years prior. I have not felt the same since my dad died, as I feel he was really my last surviving relative. (Note: I have a biological sister. Big age difference/never close/she's a liar/user/terrible person. We haven't talked in 10 years, and I don't miss her.) I feel like I'm just out here floating along in life, like a lone wolf in the woods. Granted, I have a great boyfriend (who gets completely alienated by my grief sometimes) and wonderful friends....and yes, I get the concept of friends being the 'family we get to choose' -- but at the end of the day, all of my wonderful friends have their own families and I don't. {To make matters worse, when aforementioned boyfriend's family invites me to something, they are just not the same kind of person that I am, or that my relatives were.} I know lots of people complain about family drama, but my crew was awesome. Seriously, they were some of the best people I've ever crossed paths with, and I was lucky enough to call them mine. So, I think that makes me more resentful, having to be around people I don't like as much....and then I miss my family more. It's just so hard, and strange...and lonely....having no one around anymore who's known me my entire life. I feel all of our memories are now essentially lost, since I can share them with other people, but it's not the same as remembering things with the people who created the memories with me to begin with (if that makes sense). Dialogue about the memories just doesn't mean the same thing to some random person or friend. I feel like nothing really matters too much any more. Life is blah most of the time. I definitely am not happy like I used to be. I used to love life more than anyone I knew. Now I feel I'm more or less just existing, like in the movie 'Groundhog Day.' I have gone to therapy and I'm kind of sick of it. It's been a lot of stuff I don't find helpful. Hence why I'm here. I think just knowing other people are in this boat will be more helpful and less isolating for me, even though it's sad for all of us. Is there anything any of you have done to just feel better, or less alone? ANY words of advice are greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.
  4. Does it really get easier

    I feel your pain. I've now dealt with 19 years of people asking about my mother, or my parents. It's always so sad and awkward. I also understand those feelings of guilt. My mother wanted to watch some Christmas movie with me when she was sick, and at 15, I was just 'too busy' and also had no idea of the reality of her illness. I still beat myself up over not watching that ****ing movie with her. I don't know if I have any good advice, since that's why I've joined this site, but I did want you to know that I (somewhat) know what you're experiencing!
  5. I'm 17 and essentially parentless...

    I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sending positive vibes. <3
  6. Do you still login to this site?

  7. Aged 31 and both parents gone.

    Thank you for posting this, as I didn't realize there would be so many others in a similar situation. My mother died when I was a kid, and my dad died in May 2015. The constant feeling of being a 'lone wolf' is hard to deal with, and I find it's very hard to relate to people whose families are still intact. (Note: I have a biological sister. We were never close to begin with, and she's basically a terrible person. We haven't talked in 10 years and I don't miss her.) Does anyone have any coping mechanisms that have helped? I would like to stay active on this thread. Maybe we can all help each other. <3
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