Jump to content
Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
  • Announcements

    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Ajsmother

  • Rank

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Loss Type
    The Love of My Life
  • Angel Date

Recent Profile Visitors

298 profile views
  1. I'll bury him and then I'll join him

    Nelsons No words said by anyone will take your pain away. As KMB said, we here know what you are going through as we have been dealt such a sucky hand as well..I am not sure if you have a relationship with God, and I am will never be the one to force God on you, but if you have never tried him, please do. GOD'S grace is sufficient. GOD and my unborn son was and still is my motivation to keep going on. Your love doesn't want you to suffer in pain, your love wants you to continue to live life. The hardest part is finding a new normal without your love being on this earth. Trust and believe that he is going to be with you every step of the way through this terrible.journey. I know it's most definitely not going to be the same, however he will ALWAYS be with you. Talk to him, laugh with him, even tell him How much you are hurting. He will listen. Not only will he hear you, GOD will as well and he will comfort you.. Hold on, things are going to work out for you.
  2. Soulmate gone

    Vidya, keep pressing and pushing your way through.. “the race is not given to the swift nor the strong but unto them that endure to the end. Ms. Francine you bless my spirit when I read your beautifully typed out words.
  3. I am broken. I miss my girlfriend.

    Jcooper9 The feelings of how to live without the love of your life, are all too familiar for me. The love of my life passed August 19th from a fatal motorcycle accident. Speed was a factor. GOD knows I still have my moments of being angry with him because I still feel like it could have been avoided if he wasn't so reckless. We too were young and madly in love. He was 28 and I am 30. As you and your queen, we had a future together. When he passed I was 4.5 months pregnant and had his prince on Christmas morning. Being pregnant angered me even more, because I was like you couldn't even be careful for your unborn son. What has pulled me through is my faith in God and knowing that he will never put more on me than I can bare. I am sure you don't feel strong at this moment, however GOD knows that you are!! My pastor said in one of his sermons, faith can't be strengthened if it has never been tested. Right now, I know you don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, however you have to keep going. She would want you too. It's going to be hard, I know, however somewhere deep down on the inside of you, you will have this unexplainable strength that you didn't know you had. Weeping may endure for a night, but Joy will come. I will be praying for your strength and peace until your joy comes. It's coming!!!
  4. She is here in Spirit!

    God Bless you Cruise. Your precious Gloria was with you every step of the way. As much as you would have loved to see her beautiful face again, God didn't see fit to take you to your heavenly home. You still have some work to do on this earth. Gloria is going to help you with that as well. Continue to be strong and keep pressing on.
  5. I miss my best friend

    I can so attest to what you are saying. Having AJ on Christmas day was one of the best moments of my life. It was also very painful as that was Weaver's favorite holiday. AJ too smiles when he is drifting off to sleep, and I smile hoping that he and his father are having some father/son time in that moment. When feeding or changing AJ, I always think how things would be different if Weaver was still around. I too am staying with my mother and step father and feel so blessed to have them in my life helping out. I know for me that I couldn't do this parenting thing alone either. I need help. I am a first time mother, and I am scared. Doing this without his father scares me even more. So I need and welcome the support. It's so hard and I don't know how this is all going to work out. I do know that God most definitely has his hands in helping us raise our children and he has his hands in helping us too. We just have to trust and believe.. We got this girl!!
  6. Well, this is it.

    You can do this!! It is so hard, that I can attest to however once you have her, you are going to be filled with so much joy. I agree dylan being there in spirit is not the same, as I wanted more as well. I know Dylan is rooting you on and is right beside you. I talked to weaver and told him he should be with us while I was laboring with our son. He was there, so is Dylan, just not like we want. I pray for a quick and safe delivery. Your princess needs her queen. She is ready to meet you, and trust and believe that she is going to change your life. God bless you my love!
  7. Tears and Pain

    Francine, Your unwavering faith pushes me more than you know.You are a true blessing and inspiration in my life. GOD is so good and he is so faithful. I listen to a lot of gospel music and one of the songs that I have been listening to is "no other choice" by Tye Tribbett. The song is saying that we don't have any other choice but to trust GOD. I know for me, I have no other choice but to trust him. I see that my plan was definitely not his and I have to accept that in order to find peace. GOD is going to get the glory, even within this situation. The fact that you are still seeking GOD, the angels are rejoicing. Your rejoicing will come. Psalms 30:5 says "Weeping may endure for a night, but Joy comes in the morning". Our morning is coming. Thank you Jesus!! Just Hold fast.
  8. "Deceased"

    Hello Knhedges.. Oh honey, I know the feeling all too well.. When AJ was born, a nurse asked would the father be involved in his life. I caught an attitude and said if he was still alive, he would be. I immediately apologized for me being rude. The nurse and I cried together for a few moments.. Then they wouldn't put his dad's name on the official birth certificate because they needed a photo id.. Once again, Iost it and told them that his fathers name will be put on this birth certificate. I started showing pics of his father that I had on my phone saying this is his father. No one will ever be able to take that away.. You are going to get through this. I don't know how, as I am still stuck, however I am believing and trusting that it will get better. I continue to pray for your strength.
  9. Heartbroken

    Hello B7176 I am praying for your strength as that experience that you endured is heartbreaking.. I too am now a single mother after the loss of the love of my life due to a fatal motorcycle accident on August 19th. I was 5 months pregnant and had our child on Christmas Day. Honey, no words can be said to take the pain away. I have only found comfort in God.. He was 28, and so much life ahead of him, as did your significant. I don't know how I am doing this without him, but I know that I have to. I am trying to pour ALL of my love toward our son. Trust and believe that I still have intense moment of emotion but every minute I get stronger.. I ask God just for enough.. I am praying that God gives you peace in the midst of your storm. Honey, this is definitely a storm. One that I don't see any ending. My hope is that after this storm, I will see a rainbow.. God bless you.
  10. Day of Joy and Tears

    Thank you all for your kind words. You all are so strong and that gives me strength. I am very thankful that i came across this forum. This is by far a forum that no one wants to be on, however the support here is amazing. Thank you all!!!
  11. Day of Joy and Tears

    GOD has given me the best gift. I am so thankful for his birth on such a powerful day. Thank you heavenly father!!! Knhedges- you know I felt the same fear as well. I was afraid that grief would overshadow the joy of his arrival... It has been difficult due to their strong resemblance, however our baby boy has given me so much peace.. I hold him, talk to him about his father, show him pictures. I will even cry at times while doing this. He just looks at me with these dark brown eyes, like his father and I am reminded that we are going to be ok. You are going to love her like no other. Before AJs birth. I got a 3d ultrasound of him. I knew that they were going to look alike. I had shirts made..this brings me happiness as well..AJ and Anthony love doing the duck lips. AJ was even.doing those while in utero. The next pic is of me and my bundle of joy. I am so blessed. Thank you Jesus!!
  12. God is Real

    Thank you Francine for that. The love of my life left the earthly world at the age of 28 on August 19th and all I want to know is that he is ok. I still await for that assurrance. Your testimony has given me so much hope that I too will receive that affirmation. In Jesus name. Thank you so much! GOD is so good in spite of our storm that we are in. I continue to pray for you all.
  13. it feels like my life is over

    Oh Bev, thanks for your prophetic words. I needed to read that. I too am relatively new to this grief roller coaster and at times, I feel I have made huge strides, and then it smacks me like a ton of bricks that he is gone and not coming back. Our son was born on Christmas Day, which was his favorite holiday.What a gift God blessed me with. Now that our son has been born, I wonder if Anthony would do things like myself, what type of relationship would AJ and his father have, what would the dynamic of our family look like? Breaks my heart.. Annemarie, Nothing can be said to make the pain go away. My only piece of advice is to ask GOD to give you just enough. Enough strength to get you through the day, enough strength to get you out of bed, enough strength to put on clothing, enough strength to take a bite of food, take a sip of some liquid, enough strength to face the day without the love of you life. Just enough heavenly father.. My pastor preaches that weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh. Your weeping nights may be days, months, years but rest assure Joy will come. I will be the first to tell you that, I don't see my Joy but I believe that it is coming. It's most definitely still night for me and I am still weeping. I find comfort in knowing that my joy will come. Hold Fast love!
  14. Day of Joy and Tears

    So many of you know that the love of my life passed August 19th from a fatal motorcycle accident. Well today on Christmas, our son was born. The best Christmas present one could ask for. It's so bittersweet as I would have loved to share this moment with Anthony. I know he is with us, it's just hard not to be able to see him in the flesh. I wanted to share my blessing with you all!!!! Merry Christmas to you all and your family. I am praying for your strength through this tough time. God bless you all!
  15. Hello All, So a couple months ago, I posted about the passing of the love of my life. Since his passing on August 19th, we celebrated his birthday, what would have been our 2 year anniversary TODAY, and now preparing for his 2 favorite holidays: Thanksgiving and Christmas. As some of you may know, we are expecting an addition to our family. My due date is January 1st. So to say the least , this pregnancy has been difficult as I battle with extreme emotions almost daily. well tonight, I was talking to his eldest daughter and she told me "daddy was going to ask you to marry him on Christmas or when the baby was born. He told me to keep it a secret". Anthony and my love was once in a lifetime and I knew that we were to be married. To know that it was coming much sooner than expected , I am not sure how to process the news. I know we will never be married as his earthly body is no longer here , however now all I do is think about the what ifs. Anthony was my person. He was my best friend, confidant, my everything. I feel like I am rambling and if so my deepest apologies. I just needed somewhere to channel all of these emotions. I know all of us have taken a tremendous blow with the passing of a loved one, so know that even in the midst of my storm that I pray for you all. I can attest of what God is able to do, and for me he is giving me enough strength to not only carry our child but make it through the day! God is good and he is working in our lives even if we don't feel or see him work. my pastor said "If you can't trace God, trust him". that is what I am doing everyday . trustING in his plan even when I don't see it and right now don't like it. God bless you all!