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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

KMB

Members
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    2,551
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4 Followers

About KMB

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Interests
    Pets, Reading, Traditional Country Music, Nature
  • Loss Type
    Husband
  • Angel Date
    8/20/2016

Converted

  • Occupation
    Homemaker
  1. Jedi Mind Trick

    If you do talk to a medium, ( a reputable, authenticated one) I hope you come away with a better understanding and peace for yourself. Find one who offers a session for at least an hour so you have time to ask questions.
  2. Bad day

    Sorry you had a rough day, Patti. Having to make those changes rips your insides apart. When it comes to marital status on forms, I've drawn a line through widow and write bereaved. I hate the term widow and in my heart I am still married.
  3. Bad day

    Yes, those minor issues can wait, like cell phone service ( unless it is a financial concern, like mine was), joint accounts, etc. Only the most important things need to be dealt with in the beginning. I cried my way through those early major changes. I hated seeing my husband's name obliterated, like he didn't exist. Even though it has been over a year, I still have a few things in joint yet. I don't care. There is only so much we can handle emotionally and we need to take breaks and recharge for awhile.
  4. This hurts so much

    When you hear of others dying in your immediate environment, parents and grandparents of friends, etc., you take it in stride. You think you understand the cycle of life and death. I understood my grandparents deaths. You know that it happens to the very elderly. You think to yourself that they had a long life. But when it happens to you, it is such a personal tragedy that all your previous logic and knowledge goes out the window. My husband was far from being what I would call "elderly". How dare this happen! But it did---- You can prepare financially and legally for death, but there is no way a person can be prepared for the emotional part of it. No way to prepare for the impact of their physical absence and the feeling of abandonment and the loneliness.
  5. Broken

    I'm so sorry Kay. Did you honor you and George's anniversary in some way? It is hurtful isn't it, when we are sometimes the only one to remember the special days. No one in the family remembered Ed's birthday or our anniversary this year. Makes me feel so sad that I seem to be the only one who still misses him and honors those days.Makes me realize how alone some of us stand in our grieving. Sorry to read of your friends passing. I don't blame you for feeling envious. I can relate also to Paluka's statement about wanting to wake up to his Lauri instead of his home. i think the same thing every night, if only I could wake up and find myself with Ed in Heaven, along with our 2 pets here, of course. Back to being our own little family. It is all that my heart desires.
  6. This hurts so much

    I agree. My original intent was seeking a listening ear and validation for my own pain, and now I stay to help others and it is still helping me. Especially when I am having a bad day. When you first lose your partner, you think you are the only one on the planet to experience grieving and think it is going to drive you insane and over the edge. It has been the biggest relief to know I am not alone. I sincerely wish that none of us had a reason to be on this forum. The realities of life and death truly suck.
  7. Bad day

    Patti, You have us here to help hold you up. I haven't been on my own for many years either. It can be scary and the loss of my husband upset my sense of comfort and security. You know this for yourself as well. It takes a long time to adjust and figure things out for ourselves. It does get less difficult over time, but I don't think that feeling of loneliness for our loved one ever goes away.
  8. This hurts so much

    I am deeply sorry for the loss of your partner. I know about MRSA myself.it is a very serious infection that can be fatal. My husband acquired MRSA in 2006 from the hospital itself when he was being treated for something else. This started at the beginning of that year. He went through 2 separate rounds of antibiotics for a total of 6 months. A specialist finally figured out that the infection was located in a bone and bones don't get adequate blood supply which is why the antibiotics were not working. My husband ended up having an amputation to get rid of the infection. It was a very scary year for us with tons of clinic and hospital runs. I am sorry your partner had to endure that type of infection and lost his life from it. I am sorry you had to go through that with him. it is unfair and deplorable that the hospital was at fault for giving your partner the wrong antibiotics. At the time my husband had MRSA, there was only one known antibiotic, Vancomycin. I wouldn't know if any other antibiotics have been developed since then. I understand your frustration, anger, all the pain you are feeling. It is unfair to have to endure loss of your partner before your wedding. This should be the happiest time of your life and it is so sad that it is not. I know how hard it must be for you not to have your family there with you for the love and support you need. There is no reason that you should feel you have to be fake around your friends. Reach out to them. Let them know how you feel. Let them know what you need from them at this time. It is our responsibility to let it be known what we need. Most people who have never been through this type of loss have no clue. They don't know what to say or do to help you. You have every right to fall apart. You lost your soul mate. You lost your future. It is a traumatic event that blew your world apart. Your friends might not understand, but a real friend will sit with you, let you talk, hold your hand, give you a hug. It means a lot when we can get that kind of support when we are feeling so lost and alone. Keep coming here when you need to express yourself and seeking comfort. We "get it" We understand.
  9. Bad day

    It is said that we see the bright light of Heaven when we transition over. There are many times I wish to see THAT light.
  10. Bad day

    I was trying to be uplifting. I haven't seen the light at the end myself yet.
  11. This hurts so much

    It is a really strange feeling, isn't it? The only nights my husband and I spent apart, were when he was gone on a hunting trip, overnights for work occasionally ( truck driving) or when he was in the hospital. I can't believe I've managed this for a little over a year. Every night when I go to bed, I look over at his side, pat his pillow and talk to him. I say to him that he should still be here sleeping next to me.
  12. Broken

    I worry about myself too. If only it was as easy to follow our own advice, suggestions and encouragement to others. I probably have another 20 or 30 odd years to go. Who really knows? We generally don't know how or when. I mean, some people do know how, those with illness and diseases and an estimate on the when. But, most of us just don't know. Only God knows those answers. We could get hit head on in a traffic accident tomorrow or have a fatal bolt of lightening strike us. With winter coming, we could have a heart attack shoveling snow. We just don't know.
  13. Don't know what to say

    Put an image in your mind of Kayla doing that for you. She is most likely there with you spiritually, trying to comfort you in that way. With our limited human senses, we just can't see or feel them.
  14. Bad day

    I feel your pain, Maria. If crying and begging was all it took, none of us would be here and have need of this forum. Let the tears flow, don't fight the emotions. Crying is a release valve for the pain. The intensity of our grieving does lessen over time. It has to, otherwise no one would survive loss. Patti, I know how you feel as well. I spent the majority of the first 8 months with non stop crying. I still cry when I hit the low spots. It takes a very long time to see a flicker of light on the other side of the dark tunnel we are in.
  15. Jedi Mind Trick

    It is our soul who makes that choice to keep coming here. Our soul always has free will. Our soul can certainly make that choice to stay in the afterlife for eternity, but, our souls are part of a soul family. Maybe up to 20 souls in any particular family. We make agreements with our soul family if they ask our help for learning lessons here. You and Kayla are soul mates, from the same soul family. Your 2 souls made an agreement for this life, in order to help what each of you wanted to learn and experience for your souls growth. You will be together again in the afterlife when you finish your plan. That is a guarantee. Some books that would explain it better are: Never Letting Go and Evidence of Eternity by Mark Anthony. Books by Michael Newton and Brian Weiss. There are a lot of different ones out there. I know you are a skeptic with all this and that is OK. You will be finding this stuff out when you transition over. Once you get back to the afterlife, you will look around and your home there will be familiar, Kayla and those from your soul family, that either stayed there or already transitioned before you, will be there to greet you and there will be a celebration. You accomplished your life plan and that is a reason to party. It sure would be nice if we could look each other up in the afterlife when we transition over and say to each other, "Hey, this is really what it is"! "Thanks for being there for me"!
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