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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

KMB

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About KMB

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Interests
    Pets, Reading, Traditional Country Music, Nature
  • Loss Type
    Husband
  • Angel Date
    8/20/2016

Converted

  • Occupation
    Homemaker
  1. I am so sorry! Situations that happen after we lose a loved one, especially health wise, can certainly makes us wonder how much can we take and try to handle. You and your grandmother will be in my prayers! Please keep us updated! (HUGS)
  2. Don't know what to say

    Totally agree. Paluka and Azipod, Hugs and prayers to you both. These 2 days will pass and we will survive them. It is all we can do.
  3. Holidays ..... sigh

    lovingstill, Hugs and prayers for you as well. Even though we are hurting, we have to keep in mind the true meaning of Christmas and our loved ones are still with us in spirit form and still loving us.
  4. Holidays ..... sigh

    Hugs and prayers going out to you, urbaneve. I'll never understand how loss can turn some families into spiteful, selfish monsters. I believe they never had an ounce of true, unconditional love for that person who is lost. I am sorry for what you and your son are having to endure. I wish you and your son a peaceful, blessed Christmas day and positive blessings into the new year. (HUGS)
  5. Lost of my husband best friend

    Hugs to you and Merry Christmas as well, Lonely spouse. This holiday time is hard, isn't it? Today, Christmas Eve day, I would normally be doing food prep for the big meal tomorrow and any other last minute stuff. It has been just another long, lonely Sunday for me. Tomorrow afternoon, I will get a short reprieve by making the drive down to see my son and my granddaughter for a few hours. So ironic for some of us, how family dynamics and relationships disappear, when we lost the most important, cherished person in our life. They were the glue that held everything together for us, the center and rock for us. So many losses, so much heart break.
  6. I'm all done now

    Robbie, None of us are who we used to be. Loss of a much loved one, whether human or animal, changes us. Our hearts are shattered and our brain is in a trauma fog. The pain does eventually lessen in intensity, along with our brain fog lifting enough, so we are able to have some level of functioning. It takes such a very long time for the process. We do survive loss, but at a great price and we carry our grieving deep in our heart the rest of our lives. I wish I had answers for you. I cannot even find real answers for myself. I have been reading books on the afterlife, our souls and the journeys we want for ourselves for learning the lessons we need to, for our souls growth. I don't know why Bob left you. Pets come into our lives for a purpose. To teach us the things we need to learn. To give us the experience of unconditional love. When their task is completed, their physical body expires and their spirit returns to our home of Heaven. They are still with us in spirit form and we will see them again someday. We know that death happens, but for most of us, we don't know the when and how. Why an accident or a terminal disease or a heart attack? Why do some pass peacefully in their sleep of natural old age of the body? So many questions we will never have the answers to, until it is our turn and God fills us in when we see Him. Many years ago, I had a cat for 14 years. We had a tight bond and she was a "talker". It was Memorial Day in 1995. She loved being outdoors, hanging out in the yard and I had my share of guilt in allowing her to stay outside the previous night. When I got up that morning, I looked out the door for her and discovered her dead in the front yard. It appeared a recent move into the neighborhood of a stray tom cat had killed her. I knew the tom cat had been hanging around for a few weeks, but I was so naive in thinking he would kill a female, spayed cat. My cat! She always stayed in the yard and I suppose she was only protecting her territory. I cried for a month straight. My husband brought her out to his family property, where I now reside, and he buried her not too far from the house here. She let me know in her own way, that she was ok and in Heaven. At night, I would "feel" her walking across the bed and I would "feel" her fur brush up against my face, just like she did when she was alive. These nightly "visits" lasted for a couple of weeks and brought me much comfort. It brought me the belief that our loved ones just transition to the next realm of life and are here in their spirit forms. Your Bob is still with you. He will be there to greet you, when you cross the threshold of Heaven yourself someday. Your latest post just popped up while I was writing this. Please, it was not your fault !! It was a random act of the moment, that no one had control over. We have no way of foreseeing accidents. They are random moments in time, that happen to everyone. Unlike humans, animals live in the present moment and I am sure that Bob didn't know what was going to happen either. The both of you were just doing what comes naturally and you had no way of knowing that looking at a text was going to be the cause of losing Bob. Please, for your health and well being, forgive yourself. Bob isn't blaming you for anything. He has nothing but great love for you, in giving him a loving home while he was here. (HUGS)
  7. New Years Eve party without him...

    I also agree. Listen to your heart and what feels right for you. No one else understands what it is really like in your shoes. Going into a new year that is not going to include our beloved one is hard enough, without feeling pressured to celebrate and worry over a place to stay and the finances. There are going to be many more "new years" in the future when we might do things differently. Always listen to your heart and inner voice.
  8. Christmas is coming.......

    Judy S.--- Hugs and prayers for you and your family tomorrow as well.
  9. Christmas is coming.......

    Stonsie, My heart feels so much for you, in dealing with tomorrow. How bittersweet and sad for you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. (HUGS)
  10. Christmas is coming.......

    Djh, there is nothing wrong or weird keeping Kayla in your car. I have a book case bed headboard, and I kept my husband's ashes in the book case shelf right behind my pillow.I felt comforted that he was somehow still with me at night. I finally spread his ashes on special places on our property in the fall. I went with the feeling that it was time to set him free. He loved nature and spent most of his time outdoors. I feel better sharing him with all that he loved. Does anyone have any ideas on what to do with the plastic box that the ashes came in? Does that sound morbid to even think about it? One part of me feels like smashing it and another part of me wonders if I should use it to keep some of his smaller, prized possessions. I know grieving makes us feel like we are crazy and I feel like I am really going off the deep end, wondering what to do with a plastic box that is manufactured by the thousands for loved ones ashes.
  11. Don't know what to say

    Djh, You are not losing your mind. There are times I think I am too. This world is getting crazier all the time with the hate, political nonsense and crime. If us grievers were totally losing it, we would be in jail for contributing to those other crimes. Instead, we are stuck inside our own sadness and agony. Our own little bubble existence of pain that we keep to ourselves. I don't feel we are going to forget the good memories. They are tucked away in our brains and hearts forever. Our grieving is just temporarily blocking some of those memories. Writing things down does help. I keep a note book for memories, even the tiniest moment that flickers in my mind. Take care and I hope Kayla sends you a special feeling of love,warmth and comfort, tonight and tomorrow.
  12. Loss of Wife 15 months ago

    Boom Boom, I responded to you in another of your postings. I am sorry for your loss and know myself how confusing and lonely our life is now. I do agree with the advice of the others. Take your time to really figure out what you want. I am like Francine, in having made the choice not to look for another relationship. My husband and I were perfect together and my heart knows there will never be anyone else but him. Yes, our beloveds wish for us to be happy again, and it doesn't mean we have to "let go" of them either. You and your wife are always going to be a part of each other. She is a good part of the history of your life. Happiness can be found in many aspects of life, besides another relationship. I'm just saying that maybe you need more processing in your grief first, before deciding if dating and finding someone compatible and understanding of your loss, is what you truly want. Sending prayers for God's peace, comfort and blessings on your journey--------
  13. Nighttime

    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband the month before you lost your beloved wife. it still hurts and always will. The pain is not as intense, but it is a persistent dull ache. The sadness and loneliness is overwhelming. These darn holidays don't help matters either. Exacerbates the feelings.
  14. Christmas is coming.......

    Hi yuyu, Nice to see you here again. I have been MIA on here myself lately. Family situation that is calm for now, and, not surprisingly, I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue, due to my grieving and added stress of life demands. I guess it proves that self care and balancing things better is for my benefit. I think spending Christmas with your wife in the memorial garden is a great idea. Even though you prefer doing it solo, having her family also there, and sharing your grieving and memories, is a telling of the true spirit of the holiday. I quite agree that life sux, in losing our beloveds. Nothing we can do about it except somehow, someway, keep putting one foot in front of the other. A time machine that can go back in time and also fast forward us into the future , closer to our time of demise, sounds wonderful. Merry Christmas, prayers, love and God's blessings to you as well!
  15. I'm all done now

    Robbie, Do you feed the strays that come to your door? Maybe feeding them and showing a little love, would help in placing focus off of your grieving for a bit. I feel that Bob would appreciate you showing care and concern for fellow critters. Just as you loved and took care of him. When the strays pass over the rainbow bridge, they will tell Bob how you did what you could for them. Bob would be proud of you!
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