Newton23

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  • Content count

    3
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About Newton23

  • Rank
    Newbie

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Phoenix, Arizona
  • Loss Type
    Sibling Loss
  • Angel Date
    09/24/2016

Converted

  • Occupation
    Clerk
  1. Thank you for your condolences. It's been over three months, and I still struggle every day with the pain. I, too, struggle with panic attacks. I even ended up in the Emergency Room with chest pains and high blood pressure/blood sugar (I'm a diabetic). My doctor eventually prescribed anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication. I can only sleep if I take a sleeping pill. I can't say that I'm any closer to accepting my sister's passing than I was the day I posted my original post. Most days, I'm just numb with a sense of heaviness in my chest that won't leave. I still have to work my day job, and though there are many sympathetic people there, it pains me to put on a straight face and pretend like everything is fine when I simply want to fall apart and crawl into a dark hole. It's a tragedy that you lost your sister, right on the cusp of her graduating high school. I understand the fear of moving on with your life without your loved one by your side. I am thirty-two years old and I am terrified of the thought of living the rest of my life without my sister. I refuse to think far into the future. I try to take life now a day at a time so I won't get overwhelmed. The pain continues to be unrelenting, but I have to say speaking to other people who have also lost loved ones has been comforting. You and your family are in my thoughts. Please take care.
  2. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I lost my older sister a little over three months ago (it'll be three months exactly tomorrow, Christmas Eve). Like you, she was my only sibling. I never married, so my relationship with my sister was the most important one in my life. After our father left our family when I was in high school, the three of us - me, my sister and my mom - were in pieces. Somehow, the three of us rebuilt our lives around each other, and we thrived into our adulthood. My sister had recently transferred to a department in my building, and so we were able to carpool to work, have lunch every day, and then car pool home. I didn't know it at the time, but these would be the happiest few months of my life. My sister got to see our mother before and after work. We got to hang out a lot more than we ever did before. Since my sister died, I've been struggling to find a way to move forward without her. She was the most gracious, gentle and selfless person I've ever known. She made friends easily, and at her funeral, they all came to pay their respects, more people than even I realized that she knew. Her service was filled with stories about her, stories that made everyone laugh in recognition. She was the type of person to bring out the best in everyone. I haven't recovered yet from her death, but I'm hopeful. I know she would want me to stick around and look after our mother. I'm comforted by the thought that someday, I will see her again. She will greet me with that beautiful smile, and I will hug her and tell her how much I missed her, and it will be like she never left. I know that grief is different for everyone and that the pain sometimes seems incomprehensible. I feel it's important to take your time and grieve at your own pace. Thank you for sharing your story about your sister. It made me feel not so alone on this journey we're on.
  3. I lost my 35-year old sister to a car accident three days ago. I'm not handling it well. My heart is racing; hands shaking. I just want to die and be with her. For all my life, my sister has been there for me. She took care of me, was my best friend and my heart. We worked in the same office and now I can't stand the thought of going to work alone. My mother is not handling it well either. It's just us now, me and my mother. I don't want to keep going if I can't have my sister here with me. I think I'm not as manic as I would be because even now I'm making vague plans to join her. The only thing that's stopping me is my mother. I don't want to leave her alone. Of course, people will say, "Well, what would your sister think?" I can't answer that, because she's gone, died horribly at a way too young age. I haven't slept much since I found out because I'm afraid I'll dream about her and have to realize it all over again when I wake up. I can't do this. I can't.