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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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About Kezzabear

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  • Loss Type
    Loss of mother
  1. Unexpected loss of Mother

    Aw thank you. Yeah it seems really unfair but I know there's lots of others like me.
  2. I lost my mum about 8 months ago now. It was completely unexpected and I couldn't quite believe it had actually happened. I was only 20, approaching my 21st birthday and my younger sister only 15. My mum fell and hit her face and her heart just stopped. There was absolutely nothing wrong with her. She was fit, healthy and only 44. It was diagnosed as Sudden Adult Death Syndrome (SADS) and I wondered whether anyone had any experience of this happening to people they know? I'm starting to heal slowly but still have days where I feel so low I won't do anything. I'm dreading Christmas the most.
  3. Hi, I hope you're doing okay. The exact same thing happened to my mum when she was 44, it happened in January and I'm young like you, only 21. It's such a shock and I found myself looking after everyone too. Make sure you look after yourself sometimes. I found reading helped. Find a good book you can get lost in as it can take you away from reality for a bit - that's if you can concentrate on it! If you can, talk to your boyfriend and tell him exactly how you're feeling. Remind him you can be there for each other and work things out for each of you. I argued with my boyfriend when it first happened as I was angry and shocked at what had happened. As time has passed, I've thought about how he might be feeling and things got better. If he really doesn't understand, find other people to talk to about it and hopefully over time he will be ready to talk about it with you too. Hope that helps.
  4. My mother is gone

    Hi, I hope you're doing okay. I lost my Mum back in January and was feeling pretty much the same as you. I had no idea why I was feeling so angry and would often take it out on other people. They didn't mind too much as they knew what I was going through. I think it's the initial shock of someone so close to you been taken from you so quickly. In my case, it was totally unexpected as her heart just stopped (SADS). We have to give ourselves time to adapt to what life is going to be like without them. It's a big change, especially if you are used to seeing them every day. I always turned to reading as my way of coping. Finding a good book can take you away from reality - if you can concentrate on it that is! Keeping yourself busy at work helped me for a while, spending time with my family and boyfriend or just going out doing normal things with my friends. Try not to spend too much time on your own but I get sometimes that's what you need. Treat yourself by doing something you enjoy. Have a pamper day or go shopping. Time does actually make it a little better but don't beat yourself up about how you're feeling. It's good to cry to make sense of what happened. If you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer them