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About KayC

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    Advanced Member
  • Birthday October 7

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    Making cards, singing, hiking
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    Retired Bookkeeper & Office Manager
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  1. Ugh, that's depressing! One thing is for sure, we can relate to each other!
  2. This is a very positive post! I hope you can keep reminding yourself of this when you're feeling down. This is a roller coaster ride, for sure! I hope you get that sign, keep your eyes peeled!
  3. If I can bring anyone a smile here, it's a good day! 4Hdad, please update us when there's something to update! I hope all goes well with the meeting!
  4. I'm so sorry, but I can relate. When I lost my husband I cried until there were no more tears, and now I rarely ever cry, but that's no reflection on the pain inside that we carry. You might want to take a trip to the doctor to see if anything can help you through the stress, the stomach pain and lack of sleep makes it harder to function. Grief IS a lot of work!
  5. Lena, I'm so sorry for your loss. My husband was sudden death too, it's very hard to process. I hope you'll see your doctor and get a sleep aid if the lack of sleep continues. I regret that I didn't accept such help from my doctor, it would have made it easier on myself. Of course he knew how much you love him, otherwise you think he'd have bought you a diamond ring? That says it all...he planned on being with YOU. I'm glad you've found this place, it's good to have a place to come to where others get it. I'm just so sorry for the reason that brings you here. (((hugs)))
  6. She is with you whether you feel anything or not, mostly it is a going by faith thing, not a feeling thing anyway. Nothing wrong with you at all!
  7. Numb and Lost, I'm glad you wore the shoes. The smiling and tears you shed with them is part of the grief process and healthy healing tears. I'm proud of you too!
  8. Wow, we're a bunch, aren't we! At least we have company. This is always my hardest week of the year. It's funny but no matter how long it's been, he is still in my thoughts every single day, I still love him and will always miss him. There is no other him!
  9. Grief can be forever but it changes form. That distinction is important to realize. It does not stay in the same intensity and is ever evolving. There is nothing wrong with a person that continues grieving, it is normal. We need help through this grief and that is important to recognize. Claribassist13 brought up the changes in our brain when we're hit with deep grief that can bring on a need for antidepressants when it has been altered. I was not depressed before losing George. Whatever depressive symptoms I've had since are due to the grief but neither do I feel the need for an antidepressant, nor do I think it would change anything. In my case, I've needed to get used to the changes this has wrought in my life and learn to accept and create a life I can live with, one with purpose and meaning. It has been up to me to make that effort and affect change in my life. That does not mean the next person doesn't need antidepressants! That does not mean the next person's brain chemistry hasn't changed. It IS important to see your doctor and keep them appraised of what is going on inside of you (that's what their questionnaires are for). Bet that as it may, doctors are not required to have degrees in thanatology (death, dying and bereavement). I'm not here to argue the point either, but do want these clarifications made as people here are in a vulnerable state. I'm not sure if you read the links posted by Marty, but I did, they were good. I've always advocated going to a doctor and seeing a professional grief counselor (not all counselors are qualified). Again, I wish doctors and grief counselors could work together and at least have a discussion before something gets prescribed that may or may not be right for the person. I found this to be a good article (to do with this subject from a different angle) https://onbeing.org/blog/courtney-martin-the-gifts-we-give-the-gifts-we-are/
  10. Sasha, I hear you say you wait for him and that breaks my heart. Acceptance comes to us at different timetables and in different ways, give it time. I'm sorry, I know it's hard.
  11. I hope that for you too, it may take time, but I believe He will supply your needs even as He has mine.
  12. I know, Marcel, we pictured ourselves growing old together too, we never imagined we wouldn't! No I don't think it was a teaser, none of us get guarantees with our life, that's why it's so important to live it to the fullest while we can.
  13. 4Hdad, Abandon the guilt, we are all happy for you! It feels good to hear you are taking care of yourself and your attitude is so healthy, it's like a breath of fresh air! I'm glad your MIL is supportive!
  14. I'm sorry you lost your cat...I had a 19 year old cat I lost to cancer, it's hard, I still miss him years later, he was my "greeter", he'd been our "family cat". His name was George but then I married a George so I changed the cat to King George. He did think he was royalty. I'm glad you have supportive friends, that helps. Wishing solace for you...